To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont
by AnimationNut
Summary: It's a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there's no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls.
1. SUBJECT: Pig Problem

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **I've watched the finale about six times, and I'm showing no signs of stopping. I'm sad the show is over, but happy that there are new adventures just waiting to be told one day, either by Alex or by us. The end of Gravity Falls was everything I imagined it could be, a perfect ending to a show that means a lot to me.**

 **Thanks Alex, for everything. Until next time.**

 **But for now, there are more Dipper and Mabel stories to explore! This will be a series of e-mails (and maybe texts) exchanged between the Pines twins and their friends and Grunkles. If you have any prompts or topics, feel free to share and I'll see what I can do.**

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines_ _(ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: PIG PROBLEM!_

Mom and Dad aren't letting me keep Waddles! I knew it would end like this! I tried to show them how cute and loveable he is but it's not working! Why isn't it working? I mean, if you can end up loving Waddles, then my parents definitely can. Help me before they send him to the pound! Or the farm! _Help meeeeee!_

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

" _Mooom! Daaad! You can't do this to me!"_

Dipper flinched at the sounds of his sister's sobbing. Setting his book aside, he crossed the living room and peered into the kitchen, where his parents were having yet another round with his persistent twin. The girl clung to Waddles tightly and the pig looked around curiously, still getting used to his new surroundings.

"Mabel, sweetheart, we've been over this," their mother said in exasperation. "This is a small house and we live in the city. It's no place for a pig."

"He's really no different than a dog," reasoned Mabel. "He just needs food and love and to be walked."

"I can't believe Stanford let you keep the pig in the first place," Mr. Pines muttered. "What was he thinking?"

Dipper exchanged a brief, quick glance with his sister. Of course their parents didn't know that it was Stanley who let Waddles stay with Mabel, as it was him they had lived with for most of the summer. Mabel had wrote them a letter a few weeks ago explaining that they now had two great-uncles looking after them. When they came home they quickly realized that their parents didn't believe a word of any of their adventures of Gravity Falls, believing them to be a work of Mabel's imagination.

It was best to leave it that way, in Dipper's opinion. Their entire summer in Gravity Falls was something you needed to see in order to believe. If they kept their parents in the dark, then there was a definite chance they would get to go back.

He doubted that that would be the case if they knew about Bill Cipher and the almost-end-of-the-world.

"Come on," he spoke up. "Waddles really is a great pig. He's probably the cleanest pig there is."

Mrs. Pines crossed her arms, a dubious expression on her face. "Even if that's true, what are we supposed to feed him? What kind of vet bills exist for taking care of a pig? What did Stanford say when he sent him here with you?"

"Uh…nothing much," said Dipper, figuring his parents wouldn't appreciate what Stan _really_ said.

"This isn't the woods, where there's lots of space for Waddles to run around," said Mr. Pines. "I don't think he'll be happy here. Ashes refuses to come out from under the bed, she's so scared."

"She'll get to know Waddles and they'll be best friends," insisted Mabel.

"Honey, I'm afraid the answer is no," said Mrs. Pines firmly. "We'll contact Stanford and if he can't take care of Waddles, we'll make sure he goes to a nice home."

Face crumpling, Mabel sobbed, "It's not fair!"

"Mabel-" Mr. Pines tried, but the girl raced into her room and slammed the door shut. He sighed heavily and looked at Dipper. "I've never seen your sister so distraught before."

"She loves him," said Dipper, eyes pleading. "It's going to make her extremely upset if she has to give him away. Why can't we keep him?"

"It's just not practical."

Dipper glanced at the tiled floor, expression thoughtful. "You know…not everything has to be practical. I know it'll work out in the end. Just because it isn't going to be easy or normal doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a shot anyway. The unknown is scary, but if we didn't venture forwards we wouldn't get anywhere in life."

He turned on his heel and strode off to comfort his sister, leaving his parents to stare after him with wide eyes.

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: re: PIG PROBLEM!_

Aw, I'm sorry, pumpkin. I'm sure your parents will come around, when they realize how much you love him. You've got your brother on your side, I'm sure he'll help you convince them. I'll try to call later, have a word with your parents, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. Ford and I have already set sail, and the reception is spotty.

If your parents are dead set on their decision, send Waddles back to Gravity Falls. Soos will look after him for you until next summer. Then you have 365 days to pester your parents until they give in!

By the way, I've never said I love Waddles. Don't go putting words in my mouth!

Talk to you soon, kiddo!

* * *

"Well, that's not so bad, then," spoke Dipper, having finished reading Stan's e-mail over his sister's shoulder. "If Mom and Dad really don't cave, then Waddles can go back to the Mystery Shack, and we'll have a whole year to bug them."

Mabel rested her chin against the top of the desk, expression miserable. "But it's not the same! He'll be hours away and I won't be able to snuggle with him!"

Before Dipper could try to cheer his sister up there was a knock on their bedroom door and it eased open a second later. Mr. and Mrs. Pines stepped inside and stood before their children. Eyes fearful, Mabel wrapped her arms around Waddles. "Are you taking him to the farm?!"

"No!" soothed Mrs. Pines, kneeling next to her daughter and setting a hand on her shoulder. "Honey…we've been thinking…and we've decided to let you keep Waddles."

"Really?" she squealed hopefully.

"Yeah. We see how much you love him, and I suppose if Stanford could make it work, then there really is no reason why we shouldn't try. But if Waddles becomes a problem or if he's too expensive to take care of, he'll have to go back to Gravity Falls."

"He won't be a problem or too expensive!" said Mabel gleefully, hugging her mother happily. "You'll love Waddles, I promise! Thanks so much!"

"Oh, it's not us you should be thanking," said Mr. Pines, reaching out to idly rub Waddles' head. "It's your brother."

Dipper stared in surprise. "Me?"

"Yes. Your little speech last night gave us something to think about. It was very…mature of you."

"You both did some growing up this summer," said Mrs. Pines, touching Dipper's cheek affectionately. "Stanford must have taught you a lot."

"He did," the twins said together, beaming at each other, Waddles cuddled between them.

 _He and Stan both._

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: WE WON!_

Joyful news! Mom and Dad let me keep Waddles! Apparently Dipper said some smart stuff that impressed them. I just have to make sure Waddles is the perfect pig, which totally won't be an issue. The only problem is going to be the vet costs…we didn't really get him any shots or anything in Gravity Falls. Do pigs need shots? Guess I'll have to find out.

How's the sailing going? Have you found the kraken yet? Dipper's gonna set up a video chat later, if you're up for it.

Thank you, for letting me keep Waddles in the first place. I can't imagine life without him now.

Dipper and I really, _really_ miss you and Grunkle Ford.

Much love,

Mabel

P.S: Oh, and you do so love Waddles! Stop pretending!

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: re: WE WON!_

Of course they let you keep him. If you managed to convince me to let you have a pig for a pet, I had no doubts you'd be able to convince your parents. I'm not surprised your brother helped win them over. Ford used to be able to win his arguments by confusing our folks with some smart mumbo jumbo. Guess having brainiacs for brothers is worth something, huh?

We've had a smooth ride so far and it's very boring. I wish there was a kraken or two to fight! I'll let you and your brother know the second we see any weird sea monster. Maybe I'll even get a picture for your scrapbook.

'course we're up for a video chat. Our phone service is shoddy but Ford's suited up this high-speed Internet adapter thingy. The wireless is great out here in the middle of nowhere! Shoot us a call whenever you're free.

Waddles and you were made for each other, so I guess I didn't stand a chance. You'd have gotten together anyway, I'm sure of it. And hey, he helped me regain my memories, so I guess I owe him one.

We miss you kids too. But hey, it's not the stone ages. We've got a million and one ways to communicate. Next summer will be here before you know it, sweetie.

Talk to you tonight, kiddo.

P.S: And just because I owe Waddles one does _not_ mean I love him!


	2. SUBJECT: Lost Bedazzler Gun

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **Wow, I did not expect so many e-mail notifications just from the first chapter. Thanks a million!**

* * *

 _CC: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Lost Bedazzler!_

Okay, so I've looked everywhere and I can't find my bedazzling gun! I think I left it in Gravity Falls, but I can't remember where! I'll give twenty bucks to whoever finds it and sends it back to me. I'd really like to have it back as soon as possible!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

"Aw, I can't believe I forgot it!" bemoaned Mabel. She wiggled her small frame further underneath her bed, hands patting against the floor in hopes of stumbling across her favourite craft tool. "Huh. Mom sure kept this place clean while we were gone!"

When Dipper entered the bedroom, it was to see his sister wedged halfway under her bed, legs sticking out across the carpeted floor. Rolling his eyes, he went to sit on the edge of his bed, bowl of potato chips in hand.

"Mabel, it's not here."

"Maybe I missed it," she insisted.

"You've gone through this house three times. I can also guarantee that if your bedazzler gun is in this place, it's definitely not under there. You wouldn't treat your weapon of mass glitterization so carelessly."

"Fair point." Giving up the fruitless effort, Mabel attempted to wiggle herself back out, but found herself stuck. "Waddles! Help!"

Waddles hopped up from where he had been laying on the floor and went over to his owner. He took hold of her socked-covered foot and pulled, managing to drag the girl out from the stuffy space.

"Whew!" she gasped, patting down her frazzled hair. "Good pig!" She went over to the computer and swung herself into the leather wheelie chair. "Maybe someone responded to my e-mail."

"Why did you include me in the conversation?" asked Dipper through a mouthful of chips. "I'm right here."

"I figured you'd like to be included in this mystery."

"It's not a mystery," snorted Dipper. "You forgot your bedazzler somewhere and now the gnomes probably have it."

Mabel's fingers paused over the keyboard, eyes narrowing. "Darn Jeff! I wonder if gnomes have e-mail addresses…"

"It was a joke," said Dipper with a sigh.

"Well, you never know! There were plenty of instances during our birthday party where the gnomes could have infiltrated the Shack and taken it."

Dipper couldn't exactly argue with that. He leaned against his stack of pillows and watched as his sister logged into her e-mail account. "Are you really going to give twenty bucks to whoever finds it?"

"Of course! I need my bedazzler! It adds a whole other dimension to arts and crafts!"

"Where are you going to get twenty dollars? Grunkle Stan didn't exactly pay us for our work in the Mystery Shack."

Mabel's eyes shifted back and forth. "I owe you twenty bucks."

"Dang it, Mabel!"

* * *

 _CC: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0)_

 _Subject: Lost Bedazzler!_

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Okay, so I've looked everywhere and I can't find my bedazzling gun! I think I left it in Gravity Falls, but I can't remember where! I'll give twenty bucks to whoever finds it and sends it back to me. I'd really like to have it back as soon as possible!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I told you kids to double-check to make sure everything was packed.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I've got fewer shifts at the Shack nowadays, but I'll give Melody a shout, tell her to keep an eye out. It's pink, right?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Yeah, you can't miss it. It's an eyesore.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Pffft, you mean an eye-delight! My bedazzler gun did wonders for the Mystery Shack!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Sure. That's one word for it.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Aw, lay off, old codger. Do you remember seeing it?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't you tell me what to do. Just because I'm hours away doesn't mean I can't fire you whenever I want to…it's still my building! No, I don't remember seeing her little pink bejewelled gun. Sorry, kiddo. I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Well, I found three sparkly sweaters in my suitcase just after we set sail. Nice choices of colour, by the way.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Oh, yeah! That was the day before the party! So it's definitely in the Mystery Shack somewhere…I might have left it in Grunkle Ford's room.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Soos, if you find it, I'll pay you forty bucks to keep it and never return it.

* * *

Glaring at the newly added message, Mabel turned and pointed at her brother accusingly. "I bet it was you!"

Dipper pocketed his phone and arched an eyebrow. "Of course it was me. I just sent you the message and it has my name on it. Do you know any other Dipper Pines'?"

"Yeah. I think two of them are still running around in the forest somewhere."

"Oh." His brow furrowed. "I thought I was forgetting something…oh well. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"What I _meant_ was that I bet you're the one responsible for my missing bedazzler gun!" Mabel jabbed her finger at her brother. "You probably took it out of my bag and hid it somewhere in the Shack! You were always jealous of my creative talents!"

"Right, it's all my fault," deadpanned Dipper.

"I knew it!"

"Oh, for the love of-"

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Mabel just accused me of hiding her bedazzler gun because I'm jealous of her creative talents.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ That was very devious of you, kid. Good job!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I can only imagine what kind of example you set for them over the summer, Stanley.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Just checked Mr. Pines' room, hambone. No pink bedazzler in sight.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dipper! Where'd you put it?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I didn't touch it! And I'm in the same room with you, why didn't you just ask me?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Because the others wouldn't be able to hear me, silly.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Hey, we had a sleepover the night before your birthday. We bedazzled Candy's whole body!

 _Mabel Pines:_ CANDY! YOU'RE MY LAST HOPE!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Hey, that reminds me of a movie!

 _Candy Chiu:_ I found it, Mabel! It was stuck behind my bed! I'll send it to you right away!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Whooo! I love you! Crisis averted, people! Thanks Grenda!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ My memory rules! Oh, don't send me the money-I'm glad I could help.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's _my_ money! She took it from me!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ My little swindler.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, Grunkle Stan. Hey, I'll send you a new sweater as soon as I get my bedazzler gun back!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ We'll match, Stanley.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Ha! Make it a pink sweater, Mabel! I bet he'll look rad in pink.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I hate all of you.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Love you too! Thanks for the help, guys! Talk to you later!

* * *

She ended her message with a string of kisses and hugs. She turned around and smiled sheepishly at her brother. "Um…sorry for accusing you. And for taking your money."

"Ah, it's fine," said Dipper with a grin. "You can repay me by _not_ bedazzling any of my stuff."

"Oh, fine, Mr. Boring-Pants," teased Mabel. She got down from the chair and went to rub Waddles' stomach. "When my bedazzler gun gets here, wanna help me make Grunkle Stan's sweater?"

Dipper smirked. "Definitely. We should take a picture of it and share it with the others so they won't miss out."

"Yeah!" she cheered. "You know, I bet it gets cold out on the water." She furrowed her brow thoughtfully. "Hmmm…I wonder if I have any llama hair left. That'll really keep Grunkle Stan warm!"

She got to her feet and raced to her closet, where her arts and crafts supplies were located. Dipper watched her tackle the various bins and containers and shook his head in amazement. "I live with her, and I _still_ don't have a clue where gets the llama hair from."

He supposed there were just some mysteries that weren't meant to be solved.


	3. SUBJECT: Picture Day

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: School picture dilemma_

I can't believe I'm doing this. Alright, so Mabel and I have school picture day coming up in a few days, and we've reached a dilemma. Mabel wants to coordinate outfits, but I think we're too old for that. Thoughts and input?

(Don't be afraid to tell her she's crazy).

Thanks!

* * *

Standing in the open door of the closet he shared with Mabel, Dipper wearily shifted through his hangers in search of a decent outfit for his school picture. Though there were some nice hoodies and button-up shirts for him to choose from, he did not miss the fact that almost half of his clothes were missing, and those that still remained were only in colours that matched with some of his sister's outfits.

 _Well played,_ he admitted silently, setting his hands on his hips. _Well played._

His sister was off walking Waddles, so he would have to wait to confront her, and he figured she wouldn't be in any hurry to return home. "She can't stay away all night," he muttered to himself. "Her curfew's at eight."

It was odd, having to follow rules again after a full summer of Stan's laidback parenting. Late bedtimes, ice-cream for breakfast, daily take-out and inappropriate movies were definitely missed by the both of them. But in order to paint the picture of a safe summer with their 'responsible' great-uncle, the twins made sure to keep this between themselves.

Heaving a sigh, Dipper wandered over to their bookshelf situated in the corner of the room. Amongst his collection of novels and Mabel's magazines and scrapbooks were their yearbooks. Selecting three at random, Dipper settled against his bed and started flipping through the pages.

Every year he and his sister matched outfits for their school pictures. They would coordinate colours, poses and even accessories-they once wore matching ties and shoes. The last couple of years he'd done the 'matching-twins' thing to make his sister happy. This was the year he was putting his foot down.

"The year we both wore red plaid," he muttered, looking through the past school pictures. "The year we wore purple overalls…of course the time we both shaved a line through our heads."

Their parents had _not_ been happy with them about that…

He felt a slight pang of nostalgia as he stared at last year's picture. They were both wearing black T-shirts and jean jackets, him in a pair of jeans and Mabel in a jean skirt. His silver belt buckle was in the shape of the _Ghost Harasser_ T.V. show logo and Mabel's jacket was studded with silver gems. He had to admit that they didn't look too bad…but they still looked adorable.

He was a little bit tired of being adorable.

Their bedroom door crashed open and he jumped in surprise. Mabel strode into the room with Waddles, his leash slung over her shoulder. Dipper crossed his arms and said pointedly, "I don't suppose you know where most of my clothes went?"

"Maybe one of the trolls took them," said Mabel innocently, hanging up the leash on the doorknob.

"Unfortunately, Piedmont is free of any abnormalities, anomalies and supernatural creatures," returned Dipper. "Seriously, Mabel, where the heck did you put them?"

"I'll tell you after picture day," said Mabel stubbornly.

Groaning, Dipper let his head fall back against the mattress. "We're too old to do the matchy-matchy thing! I thought you were ready to grow up!"

"To a certain extent!" countered Mabel. "We're still only thirteen. I thought you decided you didn't want to grow up too fast?"

They glared at each other for a moment before breaking into giggles. "I guess we're both only willing to make certain concessions," said Dipper, rubbing the back of his neck. "Suppose there's only one thing to do."

"What?" asked Mabel curiously.

"I asked the gang their opinions." Dipper checked his watch. "We'll see if they have anything to say after dinner."

"They're totally gonna be on my side."

"We'll see." Dipper crossed his arms, eyes narrowing. "We'll see."

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: School picture dilemma_

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ I can't believe I'm doing this. Alright, so Mabel and I have school picture day coming up in a few days, and we've reached a dilemma. Mabel wants to coordinate outfits, but I think we're too old for that. Thoughts and input? (Don't be afraid to tell her she's crazy).

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dude, you're the one that's crazy!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Do what your sister says. I'm always in for a good laugh.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ You two should totally wear cowboy hats. With those bandana things!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Bahaha! Sheriff Goofus and Deputy Dork! I can see it now!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, this is so not helpful.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Ha! I told you they'd be on my side!

 _Dipper Pines:_ You can't seriously be considering dressing up as _cowboys_ for our eighth-grade school picture.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ My boy, I think you already know the answer to that question.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Grunkle Ford, help me out here.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ While dressing up in Wild West attire is certainly…different, I don't see why you and your sister can't coordinate outfits for one day.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yeah, go Mr. Pines!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Wooo I win!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Aw, man! Thanks a lot, guys.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Come on, hambone. I think it'll be cool if you and your sister match outfits for Picture Day. You'll look adorable.

 _Dipper Pines:_ But that's the thing. I'm tired of being adorable.

 _Mabel Pines: BLASPHEMY!_

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Hate to break it to ya, kiddo, but there's nothing you can do about the adorableness that plagues you. Especially with that kitten sneeze of yours.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Kitten sneeze?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Ugh. Everyone's against me.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'm sure you two will work out a compromise. When you do get your pictures, perhaps you could send one to us.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ What he means to say is that you don't have a choice. You're sending us your school picture.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yo, add me to the list! Wallet-sized.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Me too, dudes!

 _Mabel Pines:_ You guys got it! Thanks for showing Dipper the error of his ways!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, thanks a lot. Talk to you losers later.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Who're you calling a loser, loser?

* * *

Flopping back on the floor dramatically, Dipper sighed. "Okay, okay, I guess you win. Who was I to think I could stand up to the forces of Mabel?"

Mabel crawled up to her brother and rested her chin against his stomach. "Our adorableness is uncontainable. We should flaunt it when we got it!" She paused for a moment and added, "But I guess I shouldn't have taken your clothes to try and force you…even though everyone agrees we should matchy-match."

Dipper glanced over at the yearbooks he had been flipping through. Though he had been so sure of his outfit choice for Picture Day, he suddenly felt sad at the thought of not having a matching school picture with his sister. A smile curled across his face as he realized that Mabel once more knew what he wanted before he did, and their friends and family (though they enjoyed messing with him) always had the right words whenever he needed them.

"Well, we've gone all of elementary school with matching outfits. Guess it doesn't really make sense stopping for our last year." He jabbed at her head playfully. "But we're having a serious talk about this once we hit high school."

Mabel squealed in delight and tackled her brother in a hug. "Thank you thank you! We're so gonna rock picture day!"

"What should we wear?"

A mischievous smile curled across Mabel's face. "If you're up for it bro-bro, I think we were given a great idea."

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: We rocked picture day!_

Just wanted to let you know that our pictures went perfectly and we can't wait for you to get them! Get the frames ready!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: re: We rocked picture day!_

Are you e-mailing during school hours?

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

You saw nothing!

* * *

"I can't believe we did that!"

Mabel giggled, shouldering the bag that held her Picture Day clothes. "Come on, they're totally gonna love it! Especially Wendy."

Dipper grinned, adjusting the ushanka hat that covered his brown hair. "I'm glad we changed at the last minute. Mrs. Hannigan would've probably made us change back if we gave her the time."

"How do you think Mom and Dad will take our fashion choice?"

He swung open his locker door, which was right beside his sister's. He threw in his own Picture Day outfit and gathered his books, pausing to stare at the pictures taped to the locker door, all from Gravity Falls. He lingered on the one of him and Mabel with Wendy, Soos and their great-uncles.

"They won't like it," he answered with a smile. "They've never really understood us. But that's okay. We've finally found people who accept us for who we are and understand us because of that. Because of them, I can finally accept my weirdness and not be embarrassed over my eccentricities. This Picture Day wasn't for Mom and Dad. It was for Wendy, Soos, and especially for Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford."

"Preach!" cheered Mabel.

"…are you gonna take off the belt buckle?"

"Never!"

...

Striding across the dock towards the anchored _Stan o' War II_ , Stan flipped through the stack of envelopes he had collected from the local post office. In order to get mail from Dipper and Mabel and their Gravity Falls friends, they gave the town they would be sailing towards next on their destination list so that the mail could be sent and retrieved.

Climbing onto the deck, Stan brightened at the envelope that bore the familiar handwriting of Dipper and Mabel. "Hey, Sixer, the runts sent us something!"

"It must be their school picture," said Ford with a smile, setting down a coil of rope. He joined his brother and set a hand on his shoulder, watching in anticipation as Stan opened the envelope and pulled out two pictures.

They stared at the photos for a long moment…and then broke into laughter.

"They did it!" cackled Stan, hunching over and clutching his stomach. "The crazy half-pints did it!"

"Maybe we should be a little more careful on the advice we give them," chuckled Ford. "Otherwise they may take it as a challenge."

Dipper and Mabel were wearing full cowboy gear in their pictures. Mabel wore a cow-print skirt and Dipper wore cow-print slacks over jeans, and both of them wore matching tan boots, silver horse belt buckles, blue flannel shirts, dark brown vests, silver star badges, black cowboy hats and red neckerchiefs.

But the wild attire could not take away from the dazzling smiles on their faces. Smiling softly, Stan pulled out the letter, a mix of Dipper and Mabel's writing, which he and Ford read together.

 _Dear Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford,_

 _What do you think of our school picture? Pretty cray-cray, huh? Soos gave us the idea and you guys pretty much encouraged it, so how could we disappoint?_

We got some pretty strange looks. A year ago they would have bothered me, but not anymore. I'm happy with my weirdness. It's thanks to you guys, and everyone in Gravity Falls, that I can be myself and not care what people think.

 _He should have followed my example from the start. Weird and proud! We can't wait to see them in the yearbook. We'll bring it to Gravity Falls next summer and show you how awesome we look when surrounded by our plainfully normal peers._

Plainfully isn't a word, Mabel. Anyway, Mom and Dad weren't happy with us, but they'll get over it. I think this is our best school picture yet. Though that neckerchief was itchy. I think it gave me a rash.

 _He totally does. There's these little red dots all over his neck. It'd kinda gross._

Thank you, for giving them that mental picture. If you ever lose those pictures, we got plenty more, so don't worry!

 _You better be keeping warm and safe! Don't make me come down there! Or up there! I don't really know where Antarctica is…_

Yeah, I'm giving you a geography lesson later. If you happen to come across a sea monster, knock out its tooth! I can put it with the one I got from the pterodactyl and make a collection. We'll tell you more about our fashion statement during our weekly video chat. Love you!

 _Love you loads! Talk to you soon!_

 _Sheriff Goofus_ and Deputy Dork

Ford carefully folded up the letter and tucked it underneath his jacket. "I think the nightstand will be the perfect place for these. I think there are some frames kicking around somewhere."

"Did we ever take crazy pictures like this?" Stan asked in amusement.

Ford furrowed his brow in thought. "No…I don't think so."

"Of course not. You were a buzzkill. Zing!"

"…guess I stepped right into that one."

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (Ghostharasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _Subject: Yes!_

You two are insane! I swear I laughed for an hour straight when I got your pictures. They're fantastic. So going up on my corkboard. Knew you would come around, Dipper! That's the power of peer pressure!

Talk to you peeps later!

* * *

 _To:_ _Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _Subject: Cowboy dudes!_

You took my advice! You dudes look awesome in cowboy hats. You probably started a new fashion trend. Melody really likes them too and we're gonna put them in the Shack so all our friends can see. Maybe I'll get myself a cowboy hat…you know what, I'm totally gonna do that.

Soos out!

* * *

 _To:_ _Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Thanks for the photos!_

I didn't quite know what to expect when we received your school pictures, but I can certainly say I didn't think you'd take up Soos on his suggestion of doing it Wild West style. It was a pleasant surprise, and we had a great laugh. In a good way, of course. It's nice to know our weirdness runs strong in your veins.

We keep the pictures on our nightstands. Every day will start off brighter now, even in the dreariest of weather conditions. Thank you.

* * *

 _To:_ _Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

You weirdos. I love it. Hope your parents didn't give you too much grief for your little stunt. I'm totally behind it. Who wants a normal picture anyway? You can get that next year.

We put them up in our bedroom. You're faces are the first things Ford and I wake up to in the mornings. Thanks, runts. Don't lose your weirdness.

* * *

Reading through his e-mails, Dipper grinned and high-fived his sister. "Looks like everyone approves."

"How can they not?" said Mabel with a grin. "We're the coolest and cutest cowboys ever!"

"We're the first faces Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford wake up to, huh?" said Dipper, a happy smile curling across his face.

"That's perfect, 'cause they are the first faces _we_ wake up to," spoke Mabel, sending a fond, loving glance towards the single framed picture on the nightstand that sat between her and Dipper's bed. It was of Stan and Ford, their arms wrapped around each other and grinning towards the camera.

It was a photo they only needed to hide if their parents entered their room while they were in it. Their parents worked during the day and most weekends, so they were hardly ever home when the twins weren't.

"Aren't you glad you decided to be matchy-matchy?" asked Mabel cheerfully, looping her arms around her brother.

Dipper laughed. "Yeah, yeah, fine. You were right. Our outfits were a hit."

 _Ping!_

Blinking at the text alert coming from her phone, Mabel reached for the small, sparkly pink device and read the message. Her lips quirked upwards and Dipper arched an eyebrow. "What? Who is it?"

Giggling, she extended her phone and Dipper read the text with squinted eyes before bursting into laughter.

"Okay, maybe not _everyone_ is impressed with our genius."

 _I cannot believe you two did that. OMG. I'm so embarrassed for you and the sad thing is that you're probably not even embarrassed. Losers.  
-Pacifica Northwest_


	4. SUBJECT: Lost in McGucket Manor

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Fiddleford McGucket (OldmanMcGucket)_

 _Subject: Lost_

You need to have signs around this place! I finally found a computer and I've been wanderin' these fancy hallways for days. Where's the doggone map in this place? I need to find the kitchen and a bathroom and I need them soon!

* * *

 _To: Fiddleford McGucket (OldmanMcGucket)_

 _From: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _Subject: re: Lost_

I cannot believe I actually gave you my e-mail address…Mabel and Dipper really have made me go soft.

Aren't you supposed to be super smart? I don't get how an inventor who made millions overnight and _bought my old house_ can get lost in a mansion that has about six staircases that take you to the main floor. There's also like, fifteen bathrooms. You cannot tell me you haven't stumbled across one yet.

And if it wasn't clear already, no, of course there isn't a map! It's a mansion, not a theme park!

* * *

 _To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Fiddleford McGucket (OldmanMcGucket)_

 _Subject: re: re: Lost_

No map? Then how's a person supposed to find their way around this maze? You used to live here, help me before I starve to death! Send a rescue team at the very least! I think I'm running out of oxygen! Save meeee!

* * *

"Oh, for-"

Rubbing her forehead in irritation, Pacifica shut the lid of her pink laptop and let out a long sigh. She set the device aside and swung her legs over the edge of her bed, her toes brushing the hardwood floor. For the umpteenth time she glanced around her new room, still not quite adjusted to how small it was compared to her old one. Thanks to her father's cowardly surrender during Weirdmageddon, they had to downsize after selling off their mansion to preserve their money. It wasn't a hovel by any means, but it definitely wasn't grand.

But it wasn't horrible. It was kind of nice. With the reduction of space, she and her parents ended up spending more time together. If she had to forsake a deluxe walk-in closet and indoor Olympic swimming pool for that, then perhaps it wasn't as unbearable.

Though she still hadn't gotten over the fact that the town kook had bought her childhood home. This resulted in her current confliction of whether to go and help him out of his current ridiculous predicament or letting him figure it out.

Before she could dwell on the matter her phone trilled. With quick instincts she picked it up and answered with a cool, brisk, "Hello?"

" _Hey, Pacifica!"_

Perking up at the familiar, spirited voice, Pacifica answered with a casual, "Hey, Mabel. Miss me already?"

" _Probably not as much as you miss us,"_ she countered. _"I just wanted to let you know that I sent you our school picture, since you loved it so much."_

"Yeah, that was the opposite of what I said," said Pacifica in amusement. "But I could use a good laugh now and then. Maybe I'll find some use for it. Did you really call just to tell me that?"

" _Well, you can hide behind a wall of sarcasm in a text. Can't do that over the phone! I knew you found our cowboy stunt hilarious. You're probably gonna hang it up on your wall."_

Pacifica shifted her gaze to an empty space on her pink wall, where she had already been planning to pin the Pines twins' picture. "Yeah, whatever," she sniffed.

" _Knew it,"_ sang Mabel. _"So what are you up too?"_

"Oh, well, the old man just sent me an e-mail. Apparently he's lost in my old place. Dork."

" _Seriously? Well, your place is pretty big. You're gonna go help him, right?"_

Well, there was her answer…though she supposed she probably would have came to the same decision eventually without Mabel's sudden intervention. With a soft sigh she shifted the phone between her shoulder and cheek, lifting up her laptop lid to type an e-mail.

"Since I made the mistake of telling you and you won't let me hear the end of it, guess I'm gonna have to."

" _Yay! You can take Dipper and I along for the ride! He'll be here soon. He's just dealing with the trash. It's his night!"_

"Great. An evening with the Mystery Twins."

* * *

 _To: Fiddleford McGucket (OldmanMcGucket)_

 _From: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _Subject: re: re: re: Lost_

Alright, you old kook, I'll come help you out or whatever. Hang tight, and try to keep a hold on your sanity.

* * *

" _McGucket is seriously stuck in his own mansion?"_

Pacifica was just walking up the long path to Northwest Manor (or McGucket Manor, she supposed it was now called) when Dipper joined the conversation. She let out a snort at his remark and said, "Yeah. Which I totally don't get."

" _It is McGucket,"_ reasoned Dipper.

"True." She reached the gates and furrowed her brow when she realized they were shut tight. "The gates are locked. How am I supposed to get in?"

" _Are you serious?"_ laughed Dipper.

" _Climb!"_ chanted Mabel, and Pacifica could envision her pumping her fists. _"Climb! Climb! Climb!"_

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this," she grumbled. "Hang on."

Sticking her phone into the pocket of her skirt, the blonde started to climb the heavy wooden gate. Her white flats kept slipping on the surface, but she managed to wriggle her way over the top and drop to the ground.

"Oof!" She stretched out her legs and once again held her phone to her ear. "Okay, I'm on the other side, but it was so not fun. I'm sweating."

" _Yeah, that's a normal human occurrence,"_ drawled Dipper.

" _Rescue time!"_ whooped Mabel.

Pacifica pushed her way through the grand doors and paused in the foyer. "Hey!" she bellowed. "Old man! Are you still alive?"

" _Ugh, thanks for blowing out our eardrums,"_ said Dipper with a groan.

"I don't think I made it in time."

" _Very funny."_

" _McGucket hunt! McGucket hunt!"_ exclaimed Mabel.

"You two are really weird," said Pacifica with a slight smile. "Do you know that?"

" _Oh, totally,"_ confirmed Dipper.

With a silent sigh the blonde girl started her search, calling out McGucket's name every so often. When she got deeper into the mansion and there was still no response, the beginnings of unease began to rise in her stomach. She couldn't believe she would ever feel worry over the town kook, but she figured that if you were fated to save the world from a triangle demon together, a bond would inevitably develop.

" _Any luck?"_ asked Dipper.

"So far, nothing," she replied, looking into yet another room. "Maybe he already found his way out."

" _Maybe he's on the roof!"_

Pacifica paused in the corridor and stared at the phone. A beat of silence passed before she asked, "Excuse me?"

" _Elaborate, please,"_ added Dipper, his voice a mixture of bafflement and curiosity.

" _Hear me out. McGucket couldn't find his way downstairs, right? So he probably climbed out the window to get outside so he could find a door to the first floor."_

" _Oh. Yeah. McGucket logic. Which can be pretty similar to Mabel logic, now that I think about it."_

"You can't be serious. I am not going on the roof."

" _He's totally there! I bet ten bucks on it! And it's my own money this time!"_

"Deal," said Pacifica immediately. She wasn't one to turn down a challenge, after all. She changed direction and went for the stairs that led to the roof. Placing her hand on the knob, she shoved the door open.

"Well howdy hey and whatnot!" exclaimed McGucket, straightening up from where he had been reclaiming on the flat surface. "You found me!"

" _Yeah, woo, I'm awesome!"_ cheered Mabel.

"I sort of found you," said Pacifica grudgingly. She extended the phone and added, "Mabel helped me out. She and her dorky brother have been with me during the search."

" _Mystery Twins do it again!"_ declared Dipper.

"Thank you kindly!" said McGucket cheerfully. "I was about to eat my hat!"

" _Hmm. Don't think that would taste too good,"_ mused Mabel. _"Maybe if you added sprinkles on it."_

" _Mabel, you say that about everything."_

Pacifica could not stop the grin from crossing her face at the familiar banter that erupted from the other end of the line as the two started the trek downstairs. Ever since the twins had departed for Piedmont, the whole town missed their presence. Even though they were now aware of the supernatural occurrences and creatures of Gravity Falls, there was still a lack of excitement. A lack of spunky spirit. A lack of awkward mystery-seekers.

A lack of Dipper and Mabel.

But she realized something. Even though distance separated them, Dipper and Mabel were able to help her. Whenever they were needed, they were only a phone call, e-mail and text away. The Mystery Twins would always be there to help Gravity Falls, though perhaps not always in the physical sense.

" _Whoops,"_ said Dipper suddenly. _"Mom's hollering for us. It's dinner time. We'll talk to you guys later, okay?"_

"Sure thing!" said McGucket. "I wanna hear all about your sunny city life!"

" _You got it!"_

" _Bye guys!"_ said Mabel enthusiastically.

"Later," returned Pacifica. "And…thanks."

" _Anytime!"_

Pacifica clapped her phone shut and realized that they had reached the downstairs. Glancing over at the bearded man, she asked, "So can I leave or are you gonna get lost again?"

"I think I'll eat out tonight," decided McGucket. "Just in case. But I could really use a map…"

He looked at her pointedly and Pacifica sighed. "Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Hooray!" McGucket slung an arm around her slouders and started dragging her towards the front doors. "C'mon! I'll treat you to dinner!"

If her parents had been around to see the local hillbilly with his arm around her, promising to pay for her meal, they would probably be rendered speechless with horror. A slight smile crossed her face at the very thought.

 _Well, I've already held his hand. What the heck. No one's ever offered to buy me dinner before._

Yeah. The Pines twins had definitely made her go soft, alright.

* * *

 _To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Moneh!_

Friendly reminder that you owe me ten bucks!

(Ha you thought I forgot didn't you? Not a chance!)

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Pacifca Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _Subject: re: Moneh!_

Dang it.


	5. SUBJECT: That Show Was Cray-Cray!

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **The following chapter isn't necessarily intended to make sense. Also, if it isn't obvious,** _Trapped_ **is supposed to be a parody of** _Lost._

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Trapped series finale_

So…have you kids seen the last episode of Trapped? Are you as confused as I am? I've been theorizing since it aired last night but I'm only more puzzled. You think after spending most of life exploring and studying the supernatural I wouldn't be so agitated over the ending of one of the most confusing television shows to ever exist…

Stanley's been watching it on repeat online. He's already put two dents in the table in frustration. For once I don't have the answers for him. This is very frustrating. Any insights?

Miss you kids,

Stanford

* * *

" _Sixer, what the heck was with the stupid wolf?"_

Sitting at his desk in the study, Ford hastily flipped through his notes in search of a possible answer. But his theories offered no help, and he doubted they amounted to much anyway. For the first time in his life, he was stumped. All because of an hour-long drama/mystery series.

"I don't know, Lee!" he called back, shutting his notebook with a frown. He set it aside and left the study, crossing the cramped hallway and entering the kitchen nook, where Stan was sitting at the table with the battery-powered television, which Ford had hooked up a mini, ultra-power satellite dish (which may or may not have been legal).

"That grey beast has been making appearances since the first episode, but they never did anything with the dumb thing!" snapped Stan, glaring at the television screen. He was three-quarters through the encore presentation of the _Trapped_ finale. "Does it symbolize or something or what?"

"Well, it tends to show up before something major happens to one of the characters," said Ford slowly. "Maybe it's just foreshadowing. Like the Grim. Whenever it appears dire circumstances will occur."

"That's it? That can't be it!" Stan thumped his fist on the wooden surface. "What if it's the thing _causing_ all the crazy stuff on the island?"

"But I thought that's what the shadow creature was doing."

Before Stan could respond, the laptop resting on the chair beside him started to ring, indicating an incoming video call. The cheerful tune signalled that it was the kids calling and Stan launched himself towards the device, opening the lid and answering the call in a mere second.

"Hey, kids!" he greeted when Dipper and Mabel's face appeared on the slim screen. The two were sitting on Dipper's bed, lying on their stomachs. "Please tell me you saw the finale of _Trapped._ "

"Yeah, like ten times, and we don't get what the deal was with Jackson," said Dipper in annoyance. "Did he die, have a vision, or what?"

"Oh, he totally died," spoke Mabel. "That coconut hit him on the head pretty hard."

"That coconut did not fall on its own accord," said Ford firmly. "The angle and direction it came from-someone threw it at him."

"Okay. So the dude dies from a head injury, but what was the deal with the church?" asked Stan. "How come all the other characters were there?"

"Er…maybe it was purgatory?" said Dipper dubiously.

Mabel scrunched up her nose. "Isn't that the place where people hover between life and the afterlife? Carolyn was there, and she didn't die!"

"Not between life and death, dear. In Roman-Catholicism, it's a place or state of suffering inhabited by souls of sinners. There they expiate their sins before going to heaven," explained Ford.

"That's not happy-fun-time," said Mabel with a pout.

"Okay, so Jackson and the rest of them died," spoke Stan, eyes narrowed in concentration. "Does that white light at the end before the credits mean they moved on?"

"I guess so," replied Dipper.

"But what happened to Carolyn?" cried Mabel. "She was an artist with six cats! She had the great life! She _spoke_ to me! And they just killed her off with no explanation!"

"She had cancer, remember?" said Ford patiently. "The doctor diagnosed her on the island in the fourth season."

Mabel's eyes flashed with realization. "Oh yeah...and he did the examination with old scrap material from the shipwreck."

"Let's backtrack," interjected Stan. "So we all agree that everyone who appeared in the church at the end of the show is now dead."

"Yup."

"Yeah."

"Pretty much."

"But if you," he continued, pointing at Ford, "think that someone threw that coconut at Jackson with the intention of killing him, who was it?"

"I don't think it was murder," said Mabel with a soft frown. "I mean, Jackson got that mysterious letter to go back to the island to stop the shadow thingy from resurrecting and spreading its evil across the world. Why would someone want to kill him before he finished the mission?"

"What about the wolf?" persisted Stan. "Does the wolf mean anything?"

"Uh…" Dipper scratched his head as he thought. "Probably. I'm thinking along the lines of it representing the Grim."

"Me too," agreed Ford.

"Didn't the wolf appear in the church scene?"

Silence fell as her family processed what she had just said. Ford stared at his niece with wide eyes. "What was that?"

"The wolf was in the church scene," she repeated, oblivious to the stunned reaction. "He was in the back. He's kinda hard to see, he was sort of in the shadows, but his eyes were there. His eyes gleamed out of the darkness like a creeper."

" _No way!"_

" _I completely missed that!"_

" _I knew the stupid thing meant something!"_

Mabel jolted at the force of their shouts and exclaimed, "What? What does it mean?"

"Hold on, pumpkin," said Stan quickly, eyes locked on the television, which was now entering the final scene of the episode. "I'm watching it right now…we're in the church…"

Ford leaned over his brother's shoulder and watched the last moments unfold intently. Sure enough, in one of the shots, in the back of the church was the wolf that had been present throughout the season. Yellow eyes shone from the shadows, watching the characters as they moved on to the next life.

"Good eyes, dear," he praised, shooting a smile at the girl.

Mabel beamed. "Thanks!"

"Now I'm just more confused," said Dipper, mystified. "What was the wolf doing there?"

"Well…it would make sense," said Ford slowly. "If the wolf truly represents the Grim, and he's the one who brought these characters to purgatory, then it's fitting that he is there to watch over them as they move on."

"Nope, I still don't get it," declared Stan, turning off the television with a scowl. "What about those cult leaders and that shadow beast? Jackson was supposed to stop their resurrection. Is the world screwed now?"

"Maybe it was a trap," said Ford suddenly. "Perhaps Hoss wrote that letter to lure Jackson to the island so he could kill him in a place where no one would find his body."

"Yeah, Hoss hated him," said Dipper with a nod.

"And Jackson was stupid enough to fall for that?" scoffed Stan.

Ford rolled his eyes. "Stanley, he spent an undetermined amount of time trapped on a supernatural island after a shipwreck, where the very same cultists used his girlfriend as a sacrifice to raise the shadow beast."

"Pretty obvious why he raced back," said Mabel.

"Ugh." Stan rubbed a hand down his face. "This is the most stupidly confusing show ever. If I ever meet the guy who made it, I'm gonna punch him in the face."

"…wanna watched the finale together?" ventured Dipper hopefully. "We can theorize and ask questions as we go."

"How are we gonna do that?" asked Stan with a raised brow.

"The magic of technology!" cheered Mabel. "Dipper can set it up so that we stream the episode in the video chat. We can talk and watch at the same time!"

"Do it," instructed Stan. "Our goal is to solve at least two of our questions by the end of it."

"Good goal," approved Ford, settling himself in the chair beside Stan. "Start it up, my boy. We'll figure this out yet."

"Even if it takes all day," said Stan determinedly. "You runts don't have homework or anything, right?"

"Nope!" said Mabel quickly.

"Nah, nothing," added Dipper with a wide grin.

There was nothing he'd rather be doing on a Saturday afternoon than watching a weird and confusing mystery show with his favourite people in the whole world.

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: I got it!_

Okay, I know it's super late, but I just had a thought. What if the whole show was purgatory? What if all those characters were dead since the very beginning, and the whole series was them coming to terms with their unfinished business or whatever?

What if none of it ever happened?

Much love,

Mabel

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ No. Silence. Cease and desist. Go home. I refuse! Do you hear me? I refuse to believe in your theory! Dang it! I'm thinking about it! Thanks, Mabel. Now I'm going to feel guilty for spending five months binge-watching the show when it was all for naught, because it was basically a dream _._

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I did not spend all those years investing my time and emotions into characters that were dead from the start. I cannot believe it, or else I will lose my mind with rage. But seriously. If I meet the guy who created this darn show, bam! Right in the face.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Interesting theory, dear, but perhaps it would be best if we didn't dwell on it too much. Our lingering sanity and well-being depends on it. Let's just stick with believing it all happened and the wolf is responsible for everything.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Deal.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Deal.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Deal!


	6. SUBJECT: Nightmares

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: How is everything?_

You probably won't read this e-mail until the morning, but that's okay. I just wanted to see how you guys are doing. Is the sailing going well? Have you explored those rainbow geysers yet? I hear they're super cool. Gravity Falls didn't have anything like that.

Thanks for the picture of that sea monster you beat up. Mabel put in her scrapbook. She named it Grumps, because he looks so grumpy.

I'll talk to you later, when the sun is actually up. Love and miss you.

* * *

Sending off the e-mail, Dipper wiped the lingering tears off of his cheeks and put the computer to sleep so that the glare from the screen would not disturb his sister from her slumber.

" _Oink."_

Dipper grunted slightly as Waddles, who had been watching him type out the message to his Grunkles, suddenly hopped into his lap, hooves pressed into his shoulders. He spluttered as the pig licked his face affectionately. "Waddles, cut it out! Stop it, I'm fine, go back to-"

"Dipper?"

"Look what you did," he muttered, even as he cuddled Waddles closer. He peeked over at his sister's bed, where the brunette was sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"What's the matter?" she asked with a yawn.

"Nothing. I just had a bad dream. Sorry to wake you."

Sympathy flashed across Mabel's face. She knew about the post-Weirdmageddeon nightmares, for she had had quite a few herself. Dipper had comforted her in those times and now it was her turn.

Patting the space beside her on the bed, she said, "Come and tell Dr. Mabel all about it.

…

Dipper was not the only one having nightmares plaguing him that night. An ocean away, in a medium-sized sailboat cruising across the calm black water, Stan was tossing and turning in his bunk, brow creased in anxiety and fear.

" _I think I'm gonna kill one of them now," proclaimed Bill, his one eye flashing with malicious intent. Dipper and Mabel thrashed in his fist, but their attempt at escape was futile._

" _Leave them alone!" shouted Ford, banging against the bars._

" _Please!" begged Stan, terror rising inside at the helpless expressions on his niece and nephew's faces. "Don't hurt them!"_

 _But Bill was deaf to their desperate cries. "Eeny…meeny…" the triangle demon said slowly, his eye flashing from an image of a shooting star to an image of a pine tree with each word. "…miny…you!"_

 _With a snap of his fingers Dipper's body gave a harsh, violent jerk. Agony crossed his face for the briefest of moments before going blank with death. His body fell limply forwards and Mabel's wretched scream of despair echoed throughout the room._

" _Dipper! Dipper!"_

 _As Bill laughed mockingly, the sound chilling Stan to the core, he slammed his body against the bars of their cage, tears building in his eyes as he hollered, "No! No! Noooooo!_

"Stanley! Stanley, wake up!"

Eyes snapping open, Stan sat upwards with a strangled gasp. Ford quickly grabbed his brother's shoulders, concern written across his features. "Stanley, it's okay," he soothed. "It was just a dream. You're fine. I'm fine. The kids are fine."

"It was Bill," ground out Stan, pressing his face against his hands as he tried to breathe. "He…he wouldn't listen to us, he killed Dipper-"

"No, he didn't," said Ford in a firm voice, starting to rub soothing circles in Stan's back to help him calm down. "Dipper is in Piedmont, alive and well with his sister. Bill's gone. He can't hurt any of us ever again."

Swallowing thickly, Stan raised his head and roughly rubbed his wet eyes. "I know. I know. But…we were so close, Sixer. So close to losing one of them."

Ford's heart clenched in his chest. "I know we were. But the important thing for us to remember is we didn't. If we dwell on what could have been, what might have been, we'll never sleep peacefully again."

"I'm gonna get some water," muttered Stan, climbing out of his bunk. He was sweaty and his heart was racing a mile a minute. "I'll be back."

Ford watched him go and let out a soft sigh. Though Bill was gone, it seemed he would always linger in some form in their dreams. Gritting his teeth at the very thought of the demon that caused him and his family so much grief, he left their cabin and went into the kitchen nook.

Stan finished pouring himself a glass of water and he looked up with a slight frown. "You don't need to check on me. I'm fine."

"Well, it's almost sunrise anyway. No point in going back to sleep now," replied Ford. He settled down at the table and turned on the laptop. When the home screen loaded, he immediately noticed the notification that informed him of a new e-mail. "I suppose you're not the only one who can't sleep."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dipper sent us an e-mail an hour ago." Ford glanced at his watch. "It's still late in California."

Stan furrowed his brow in concern. "Maybe something's wrong. What's it say?"

Ford clicked on the message and the two read it together. Though Dipper attempted to be casual in his writing, both men knew that something was bothering the boy. He was not one to send e-mails or texts so late at night. His sister did, but he didn't.

"Is he still online?" asked Stan, squinting at the status bar on the side of the screen. "Green means yes, right?"

"It does, and it seems Mabel is online as well, through her phone."

"Scoot over."

* * *

 _Grunkle Stan:_ What are you runts doing out of bed?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oh, we just can't really sleep. Did you get my e-mail?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ We did. We're fine, kid. We're gonna see those rainbow geysers you and Ford are so nerdy about later on today. We'll take pictures for you. You and your sister okay?

 _Mabel Pines:_ We're fine!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Dipper? You normally don't e-mail us so late. Is something the matter?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I…I had a nightmare.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Coincidence. Me too, kid.

 _Mabel Pines:_ What was yours about?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't worry about it. I'm over it now. You wanna talk about yours, Dipper?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Um…well, we were trying to rescue Grunkle Ford, but Bill stopped us and shattered him into a lot of gold pieces. You got really mad and tried to attack him, but he disintegrated you. I woke up then.

* * *

Stan let out a sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face. "I should have punched Bill harder…or kicked him. He shouldn't have to deal with this."

"This is my fault," muttered Ford remorsefully. "If I never met Bill in the first place, none of this would ever have happened."

"You don't know that," said Stan, shooting his brother a sharp look. "If it hadn't have been you, things might have turned out so much worse."

"Perhaps so, but I wish the kids didn't have to deal with this. We can't even be there to comfort them."

"We don't have to be physically there to do that. All we ever have to do is be there for them in general, anytime of the day. That will never be a problem, right?"

A soft smile crossed Ford's face. "Right."

* * *

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I assure you I'm flesh and bone and in one piece. Stanley is also in one piece.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ We're fine, kid. You're fine.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I know, but the dreams just feel so real…

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Think of it this way. Bill was the master of manipulation, especially in dreams. You don't want him to win, do you?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Definitely not.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Every time you let those dreams affect you, you're letting him win. We can't have that, can we? So next time you have one of those dreams, don't let that jerk win. Don't believe what your dreamscape is trying to tell you. Think you can do that?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'll try, Grunkle Stan. But only if you promise to try as well.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Heh. Alright, kid. We'll beat these dumb dreams together.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Mabel, you've been rather quiet. Is something on your mind?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'm sorry. This is all my fault.

* * *

Staring at the new message in surprise, Dipper turned away from the computer screen to stare at his sister. She was holding her phone limply in her hand, silent tears trailing down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked in as soft a voice he could manage, hurrying to her side.

"None of you would be having these dreams if it wasn't for me," said Mabel bitterly. "I'm the one who was stupid enough to be tricked by Bill. I'm the one who gave him the rift."

"Mabel, we've been over this! It's not your fault." Dipper tried to wipe away her tears as best he could. "I know that, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford know that."

A dual _ping_ sounded, from their shared computer and Mabel's phone. Dipper peeked at the message and smiled slightly. Wrapping his arms around her, he said, "But I've told you that plenty of times. Maybe what our great-uncles have to say will get through to you."

* * *

 _Grunkle Ford:_ No. It is not your fault. Don't ever think that. No matter what, Bill would have found a way to get that rift. The fact that he preyed on you when you were most vulnerable is a testament to how vile he was. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Shut up, Ford, it's not your fault either. We were all pawns in Bill's twisted game. Mabel, don't ever feel guilty about this. Don't make us come up there to knock some sense into you.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I mean, if feeling bad will bring you to Piedmont for a visit…

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Ah, good. Jokes. We got through to her.

 _Dipper Pines:_ About time. I've only been trying forever.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, guys. I try not to think about it, but sometimes I can't help it.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I suppose we all still have some recovery to do after our ordeal. But we don't have to go through it alone.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Sixer is right. I'm starting a new rule right now. Anytime one of us is feeling low, sad and guilty or have another stupid nightmare, we deal with it together. Like we always have.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'd like that.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Me too.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Then it's settled.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You kids feeling better?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Much.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Uh-huh!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Guess you runts should get to bed, then. You have school tomorrow and I think you have to be alert and junk for it. We'll talk later.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, alright. Virtual hug!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Virtual hug!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Virtual hug!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Virtual noogie!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Way to ruin it, Grunkle Stan.

* * *

Closing the lid of the laptop, Stan had a soft smile on his face. He no longer felt terrified and scared- on the contrary, the talk with the kids greatly improved his spirits. Leaning back in the booth, Stan stretched and Ford glanced over at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. The kids will be fine. We'll be fine. Like you said, we'll handle everything together." Ford set a hand on Stan's shoulder and squeezed. "As a family."

Feeling lighter than he could have believed he would ever feel, he stood up and punched Ford affectionately in the arm. "You got it. C'mon, let's get cracking on this rainbow geysers. Dipper's gonna have a fit if we don't have pictures to show him and Mabel will get a kick out of the colours."

Bill tried everything he could to tear the Pines family apart. But all he did was bring them closer together. His lingering nightmares only caused the four to bond even more, a tight-knit connection that could never be severed.


	7. SUBJECT: That Darn S

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _CC: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _Subject: It's finally time_

Today's the day, dudes. After almost four months, I'm gonna nail the S from the sign back into place. No longer will we be the Mystery Hack. Let's get this done.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Is it weird that I feel weird about Soos doing this?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Nope. It's totally weird.

 _Stanley Pines:_ How did that stupid letter fall off anyway?

 _Mabel Pines:_ It was Dipper's fault.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Okay, no, it was wax Sherlock Holmes' fault. He's the one that knocked it off.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Stop making up stories and accept responsibility for your summer-long mistake.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'm not going to accept responsibility for something I didn't do. Plus, it was just one mistake. We were all too lazy to fix it, so it lasted all summer. Not like anyone really noticed anyway.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ If I'm fixing up the Shack, I gotta fix the sign. Or else it won't fit with the rest of the décor.

 _Mabel Pines:_ That's true. We can't have a frumpy looking sign for a spic-and-span Mystery Shack!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yeah, if it's one thing the Shack will never be, it's spic-and-span. It will always be in shambles. You're trying too hard, Soos.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ C'mon Wendy, we can at least make the sign like new, if nothing else.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I'm pretty sure we tried that once. It fell off immediately after.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Please?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Fine. I'll be over in a bit, dude.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Sweet!

 _Stanley Pines:_ Hey! How come you were never that accommodating with me?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Because you're a rude old codger and I miss giving you a hard time. Soos isn't nearly as argumentative as you are.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Tch. You better enjoy it, because the summer management will be cracking down upon his return.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Let's put this S back where it belongs!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Can we watch? This is like, a historic moment!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Little bit over exaggerated, but I'd like to see how this plays out.

 _Stanley Pines:_ You losers have fun. Call and show me the finished product, if you manage to make it that far.

* * *

Hands slung lazily in her jean pockets, Wendy strode across the grassy lawn towards the Mystery Shack, her blue-and-white cap tilted slightly over her eyes. Soos was already outside, standing on the ground and staring up at the broken sign with thoughtful eyes.

"Yo," she called, alerting her friend to her presence.

"Hey, Wendy," he greeted cheerfully, turning to look at her. "Thanks for comin' out to help."

Wendy smiled. "Well, I guess I wasn't doing anything anyway. Am I getting paid for this?"

"Sure."

"Yeah, next summer is gonna be a hard readjustment," laughed Wendy. "Especially to my paycheck."

Since Stan and Ford would return to the Mystery Shack for the summer, Soos had offered to give Stan control of the Shack anytime he was back in town. Not much of his and Abuelita's stuff occupied the already-stocked home, and his old house was still under his Abuelita's name. As far as they were all concerned, Stan would always be Mr. Mystery, and the Shack would always be the Pines' home.

"We're just waiting on the hambones," spoke Soos. "They should be calling soon."

Glancing over her shoulder, Wendy noticed a laptop balanced on a stack of crates, a distance away from where they were standing. The webcam was ready to go and already displayed their images on the screen.

"Cool. Where's Melody at?"

"She's running the gift shop while we do this."

 _Tring! Tring! Tring!_

"Woo, our homies!" cheered Wendy. She hurried over to the laptop and selected the _Accept_ button. The twins' faces soon filled the screen and they waved in greeting.

"Hey!" shouted Mabel with a wide grin.

"How's it going?" added Dipper.

"Not much yet, dudes," said Soos, coming over and holding his hand up. "Virtual high-five!"

Dipper and Mabel lightly smacked their hands against their webcam, pretending it was Soos' waiting hand. "We'll provide the commentary while you work away," said Dipper with a laugh. "Good luck."

"Thanks," snorted Wendy. "Let's get this over with."

Picking up the laptop, Soos walked over to the ladder leaning against the Mystery Shack. He climbed up first with Wendy following behind. They stepped carefully to the falling-apart roof and stared at the red wooden _S_ lying haphazardly on the roof.

"It kinda looks comfortable there," observed Mabel.

Soos set the laptop beside the toolbox, which was already set up. He picked up a hammer and some nails. "You wanna hold it for me?"

"Sure." Wendy picked up the _S_ and held it in place. "How's that?"

"A little crooked," answered Mabel.

"Babe, I'm pretty sure the entire Shack is kinda crooked. And I'm not talking about your uncle's business skills."

"Fair point," she conceded.

Soos hammered the nails into the top and bottom of the _S_. When he finished, Wendy let go and they all stared at it. After a beat, the wooden letter fell back to the roof, kicking up a slight cloud of dirt as it landed.

"Okay…maybe more nails?" suggested Dipper.

They tried again, with Soos putting in twice as many as nails to keep it fastened to the plank of wood. But the same thing happened and it tumbled off only a moment later. Wendy set her hands on her hips with a frown. "Alright, now this is ridiculous."

"What if you tried staples?" suggested Mabel. "Or hot glue? Or screws? Or tape? Or everything?"

Soos and Wendy exchanged glances before nodding in determination. "Sounds good," declared Soos. "No matter what, we shall prevail!"

It took a minute to gather all of the supplies, but the two were soon back at it, sticking nails, screws, staples, tape and other adhesives to the back of the _S_ and then to the spot where the letter would go.

"If this doesn't work, I declare the sign cursed," spoke Dipper, watching his friends work.

"Tape fixes everything," said Mabel optimistically.

"Okay, I think we got it," said Wendy. She assisted Soos in pressing the letter in its spot, holding it firmly down for a minute before stepping away.

"The moment of truth," breathed Mabel.

They stared intently at the troublesome consonant, and after a long stretch of time they erupted into cheering when it stayed in place.

"The Mystery Shack is whole again!" cried Dipper dramatically.

"Good job, guys!" praised Mabel.

"Fist bumps all around!" whooped Wendy, bumping her knuckles against Soos' fist before lightly tapping the laptop screen, where the twins had their fists held up. "Geez. That took longer than it should have."

"Let's call Grunkle Stan," said Mabel eagerly.

"Yeah! I'm sure he'll be happy to know that fixing the sign didn't cost a cent," said Soos. He typed a few keys and soon Stan's face joined the video-chat. "Hey, Mr. Pines!"

"Hey," greeted Wendy with a smile.

Stan surveyed them with slight amusement. "It's been almost two hours since Soos sent out that e-mail. Don't tell me you've been working on that stupid sign since then."

"You should appreciate their dedication," insisted Mabel.

"Stubborn persistence is more like it," snorted Stan. "Alright, let's see the fruits of your labour."

Wendy lifted up the laptop and moved cautiously to the edge of the roof. She tilted the screen so that Stan could get a full view of the repaired sign. For a while, the five of them stared at it, and then Stan spoke.

"Yeah…I don't like it."

"Me neither, now that I've had a proper look at it," admitted Dipper, nose wrinkled slightly. "It looks…out of place."

"It feels like we lost an old friend," said Mabel sadly.

"I don't think I can come to work under these conditions," said Wendy seriously.

"Definitely weird," agreed Soos, scratching his head. "Maybe some things are better left alone."

His friends chimed in their agreement. Soos walked over to the _S_ and tugged at it until it ripped from the wooden plank. It lay flat on the roof, where it belonged, and he dusted off his hands. "Much better."

Dipper could not help but be amused. "Are we weird for feeling this strongly over a tourist trap sign?"

"Oh, totally," confirmed Mabel.

"Something's wrong with us," agreed Wendy.

"We're a little off alright," cackled Stan.

"We're not entirely normal, but that's cool," said Soos dismissively.

"Just want to make sure I'm not the only one who thinks so."

* * *

 _Hey, I thought you and Wendy were fixing the sign today. What happened?  
-Melody Travers_

 _We realized the error of our ways, and learned that we cannot mess with the natural course of fate.  
-Soos Ramirez_

 _You and the others didn't like it, did you?  
-Melody Travers_

 _Yeah, that too.  
-Soos Ramirez_


	8. SUBJECT: Science Fair

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Hey kiddo_

I hear from your brother that you two have a science fair coming up. Actually, talked my ear off is more like it. He's nuts for it, isn't he? He told me what his project's gonna be about and it sounds difficult. Thankfully he saved most of the fancy nerd talk for Ford and gave me the simple version.

You've been pretty quiet all week. You working hard on your own project? I guess it's good that both of you are so involved with school, but c'mon, you can spare some time to give me the details. What's it about? You get to make anything explode? I wanna hear it all, kid.

Oh, and make sure your brother gets some sleep.

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Science project_

Hello, Mabel.

Dipper's told Stan and I that your science class is entering the local science fair. I'm sure you two are excited to show your skills amongst your peers. You'll no doubt blow the competition away.

Your brother's told us all about his project, and we'd like to hear about yours as well. Is your work going okay? Can I be of any assistance? I'll be glad to help where I can.

Talk to you soon.

* * *

Mabel stared at her computer screen, having just finished reading the e-mails from her Grunkles. She stared at the keyboard with a dismayed expression, her front teeth beginning to nibble on her bottom lip. "Oh man…"

She'd hoped that her great-uncles wouldn't ask about her science project, but she supposed it was silly to think that they would just pass over her and focus on Dipper. She knew once her brother started to eagerly relay his plans to Stan and Ford that they would eventually ask about her progress sooner or later.

She wished it had been later.

Dipper was in his element. He was ecstatic about the upcoming science fair, more than ready to take his idea and execute it. He'd been sharing his progress with Ford over the past week and giving Stan the basic, important notes of what he planned to create. Her silence during his onslaught of words probably caused them some puzzlement, and now they were checking up on her.

 _But what am I supposed to say?_

She glanced over her shoulder to stare at Dipper's side of the room, which had temporarily transformed into brainstorm central. His light blue walls were plastered with handwritten notes, printed articles from the Internet and sticky notes bearing hastily-scrawled afterthoughts. Textbooks were strewn over the white and black speckled carpet, some of them open to particular pages. The blankets on his bed had been bunched up against the headboard, leaving room for blueprints on the white sheets.

The gist of Dipper's project was to create a phone with a long-lasting battery. According to him, it would cut back on the amount of electricity used to charge the devices, be cheaper in the long run and hopefully decrease the number of cellphones thrown out because of worn-out or damaged batteries.

It was clever. It was advanced. It was technical.

"And what do I have?" she bemoaned, lightly thudding her head off of the top of the computer desk. "Nada. Zilch. Nothing."

Their eighth-grade science class was allotted three weeks to craft their projects, in time for the Friday afternoon showcase at the community center. There would be no new lessons, with the forty-five minutes of class time dedicated to their projects. Each class Mabel sat at her desk, staring at the blank pages of her pink sparkly notebook, while her brother made more and more progress.

She had two weeks remaining. She needed to get started or else she wouldn't finish by the deadline and her grade would take a serious nosedive.

"Hey, Mabel!"

The girl jumped slightly as her brother burst into the room, carting a box with him. "Hey, bro-bro," she greeted, putting on a smile. "What's that?"

"I went to the old electronics store a few blocks away," he replied, stepping carefully over his landmine of research material. "I got some old phones that were traded in because the batteries don't work and I bought a pack of new batteries. I'm ready for the testing phase."

"Cool," she said sincerely. "I can't wait to see your prototype. I'm tired of having my phone fizzle out on me."

"I just hope I'm able to convey what I think in my head into a successful model," said Dipper pensively, rubbing the back of his neck as he studied his work zone. "So, have you come up with a project?"

"Not yet," she admitted.

"Mabel, you have to get on this. There's only two weeks left and a science project takes quite a bit of thought and time."

"I know, I know! I just can't think of anything."

"Why not do a potato clock?" suggested Dipper. "Or a volcano or a model of the solar system?"

The stereotypical science projects. She quelled a sigh and gave a nod. "Yeah. Maybe. I'll figure something out. I'm gonna go get some brain food."

She shuffled out of their bedroom, into the hall and entered the kitchen, where she found Waddles napping underneath the table. "This wouldn't be so hard if I was as smart as Dipper," she muttered, going over to the cupboards and removing a box of cereal.

School wasn't her strong point, especially subjects like math and science. But it was a place where Dipper thrived, achieving honours with relative ease as she passed with average marks. She tried to be comfortable with her own intellect, but it grew difficult when she was faced with these kinds of situations.

"I'll make a volcano while my twin brother creates a device that'll benefit humanity," she sighed as she poured a bowl of Rainbow Flakes. "Great…"

Her phone trilled in her skirt pocket and she winced, setting down the cereal box and digging it out. It was the ringtone she assigned to Stan, and she knew that her Grunkle was no longer going to sit around and wait for her to respond. He was going to make her talk, even if she didn't want to.

 _Be cool, maybe you can still play it off._

"Hey, Grunkle Stan," she greeted in what she hoped to be a cheerful tone. "What's up?"

" _Just the question I was gonna ask you,"_ returned Stan.

"Nothing much."

" _Yup. Something's wrong,"_ declared Stan. _"You never respond with 'nothing much'. Spill it, kid. What's the matter?"_

Mabel muffled a groan. Her great-uncle knew her too well. "This science fair thing is kinda bringing me down."

" _You and your brother aren't fighting over it, are you?"_ he asked in concern. _"'Cause it's not worth it."_

"No," she said quickly, soothing his worries. "No, we're fine. He's just a little bit distracted, but that's cool. He's working really hard and doing a great job and he's totally gonna get picked to go to the national exhibition. This is totally his element."

" _But not yours."_

Shoulders slumping, Mabel collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs, shoving aside her now-abandoned cereal and said feelingly, "Definitely not mine."

" _Heh. I hear ya. My science fair project was a hunk of junk."_

" _That's one way to put it."_

Mabel smiled as Ford's voice joined the conversation. "Hey, Grunkle Ford."

" _She said hi."_

" _Put it on speaker, Stanley."_

" _Will you get away from my ear? What's that mean, put it on speaker?"_

It took a moment, but soon Mabel could clearly hear both of her great-uncles and they could hear her. _"Nice to finally hear from you, my dear,"_ spoke Ford. _"Is everything okay?"_

" _She's feelin' down about the science fair."_

" _What's the matter?"_ asked Ford in concern.

"I know you and Dipper are all about science stuff, but it's just not really my thing," she said, pulling at the hem of her sweater as she confessed her worries. "The booths are going to be in alphabetical order and he's going to have this awesome forever phone and I'm probably going to have a volcano that spits up baking soda and vinegar. People will be like, 'oh, look, that must be the stupid twin!' I can't-"

" _Stop,"_ interrupted Stan. His sharp voice caused Mabel to halt her words in surprise. _"You are not stupid. Never call yourself that again. Got it?"_

"Got it," she said instantly, knowing this was his no-nonsense tone.

" _Mabel, take it from me, you will get nowhere in life if all you do is compare yourself to your twin,"_ said Ford firmly. _"You have your talents, as Dipper has his. You don't need to have an advanced science project. Just do something that makes you happy."_

"But-"

" _Sweetie, trust me, nothing you come up with will be worse than what I ended up doing. That's the only standard you have to surpass, and you'll do it with flying colours,"_ said Stan encouragingly.

" _What are you interested in?"_

"Grunkle Ford, you know what I'm interested in."

" _Humour me, dear."_

Sighing, Mabel glanced at her socked feet, which rested against Waddles' back. "Pigs."

" _Very good._ _What's an experiment you could do with Waddles?"_ coaxed Ford. _"Start with a question. Anything you want."_

Tilting her head back, Mabel stared at the ceiling and thought. "Um…do pigs have a favourite colour?" she ventured hesitantly.

" _Already a hundred times smarter than me,"_ claimed Stan.

" _Thank heavens for that,"_ quipped Ford.

Encouraged now, Mabel straightened in her seat, her mind starting to flood with possible ways she could conduct the experiment. "I could watch him and see if there are particular colours he is attracted to! Or maybe buy him some different coloured toys and see which one he plays with the most. I could-" She cut herself off and squinted her eyes suspiciously. "I hear smugness."

" _Like heck you do,"_ laughed Stan. _"You can't hear smugness, runt."_

"I do. One of you has the desire to say 'I told you so'."

" _I'm gonna say it."_

"You better not!"

 _"Alright, alright. I won't."_

" _You're a bright girl, Mabel,"_ praised Ford. _"Thinking outside of the box is your strength. How many science projects are going to have a pig as their central subject?"_

"Probably none," said Mabel. She was starting to feel excited about the experiment she would get to conduct with her pet pig. A great rush of love and affection for her great-uncles cascaded through her and she said sincerely, "Thanks for your help. I feel a lot better now."

" _Well, can't have you thinking bad about yourself,"_ replied Stan. _"You know we're here if you need to talk, pumpkin."_

"I know."

" _I can help you hash out your hypothesis, if you'd like,"_ offered Ford.

"Yeah, that'd be great!"

" _You two do that,"_ said Stan in amusement. _"I'm starved, so I'm gonna make some food."_

"Bye, Grunkle Stan. I'll talk to you later," she promised. "Love you."

" _Love you too, squirt."_

"Grunkle Ford, I'll be right back, I just got to get my notebook."

" _Alright, dear. Take your time."_

Mabel sprang up from her chair and hurried into her bedroom. Dipper was tinkering away with some of the phones, a small toolbox by his side. "Did you ask Dad if you could borrow his stuff?" she asked in amusement.

Dipper glanced up, expression sheepish. "Nope. Our secret?"

"Our secret," she confirmed. "I'm going to be on the phone with Grunkle Ford for a bit. He and Grunkle Stan helped me come up with a science project."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"I'm going to do an experiment with Waddles! I'm going to see if pigs can have a favourite colour," she said cheerfully.

"That's cool. If you bring Waddles to the fair you're going to be the most popular booth there."

Mabel felt a flare of pride at her brother's honest statement. "Not as cool as your project, bro-bro." She snagged her notebook. "Oh, and Grunkle Stan says I have to make sure you get some sleep. So it's bedtime at nine for you, mister!"

Dipper smirked in amusement. "Sure. Oh, by the way, if you want a starting point for your experiment, try green. He seemed pretty passionate about ripping up my green T-shirt two weeks ago."

Mabel stuck out her tongue playfully. "Maybe I'll do that."

She skipped out of the room as he laughed. She had regained her confidence, and it was thanks to her Grunkles. Her dread for the upcoming science fair was now gone, replaced with an eagerness to showcase her creative intellect (and her pig) to her peers.

"Alright Grunkle Ford," she declared, sitting down once more at the kitchen table. "Let's do this!"

* * *

 _CC: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: GUESS WHAT_

Our science fair happened yesterday. There were a bunch of smart kids there and they had some really cool stuff. There were judges and they had to pick five kids from Piedmont to send to the California-wide science fair happening next month.

I totally knew Dipper was a given. He nailed that forever phone. But they picked me too! Waddles and I get to go with Dipper to the Junior State Science Fair!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Aw, you beat me to it.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Of course they picked you runts. They'd be crazy not to. Great job, kids. Ford and I are proud of you.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ That we are. You shouldn't be surprised, Mabel. Your project is brilliant.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I knew his favourite colour is green.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yup! He was a perfect candidate for my experiment. He was well-behaved at the science fair, too! You guys were right. I just have to be me.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I don't know why you'd ever compare yourself to me. You can talk to anyone and you're super creative.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't make us start lecturing, squirt.

 _Dipper Pines:_ No, I'm good, really! I'm just saying.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'm glad you two had a good time. I'm sure you'll make an impact at the state-wide fair as well.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We'll definitely try to dominate!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Oi, Mabel.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yeeeeessss?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ …I told you so!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Grunkle Stan!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Like you didn't see that one coming. You should have known he wouldn't be able to resist for long.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Very mature, Stanley.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ HA!


	9. SUBJECT: Book Hunt

**I do not own Gravity Falls or any of the book titles mentioned in this chapter.**

 **I think after the whole apocalypse incident, Gideon would be on neutral terms with the rest of the crew. I mean, after you go through heck and back, there's some sort of bond that develops. Though he and Stan still bicker, because that's just how they are. But for the most part, I think they're all trying to work on being friendly towards one another.**

 **Another headcanon I have is Stan calling Pacifica Princess. It's initially meant to be mocking, but later on turns into an affectionate nickname when he realizes that she's really trying to change for the better.**

* * *

 _CC: The GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Book recommendations?_

Mabel and I are partners for a book report that we have to do for English. Neither of us can decide on what book we want to write about. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ The Hunger Games is pretty rad.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Anything by Stephen King. Especially It.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dude. Are you seriously suggesting that creepy clown book to a couple of thirteen-year-olds?

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Yeah, because a monster clown is totally gonna traumatize them after the junk that went down this summer.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Guy makes a good point.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Whatever. I like my book way better.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dudes, you should totally read The Notebook. So sad, but so good.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You would, Soos. You would. Gold Chains For Old Men is always classic.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Do you know the difference between a magazine and a book?

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I don't think he's ever read a book in his life.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're lucky I'm not around to smack you, you little twerp.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ How about Of Mice and Men? It's a novella, but it has quite a bit of material to discuss in a book report.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ NO. Mabel, sweetie, do not read that one!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ What's wrong with it, Stanley? I admit, the ending- oh. Um, perhaps another book would be more suited to your needs, kids. Little Women, maybe?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Boring.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Tom Sawyer is my personal favourite, and it's a classic. Can't go wrong there.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Hogwash, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is the cow's bells! My mama used to read that to me as a bedtime story.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Tom Sawyer…is that the one where the guy has to paint a fence?

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ I don't suppose you remember that particular scene simply because ol' Tom tricked some youngins into doing his work for him?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ He's an uneducated bum, but he tricks people so beautifully.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I recommend Twilight. It is so tragic…

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Edward is so macho!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I had a feeling you two would suggest that…and I still can't help but feel mildly disgusted. No offense. But vampires do not sparkle.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ If you're going to do a vampire book, do the only one that counts. Dracula.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Whattaya know? There's a brain under all that blonde hair!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ There's also The Hunchback of Notre Dame. You'll attach strongly to Quasimodo, I'm sure, because he resembles your uncle so much.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ That must sting, Stanley.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Oh snap, Blondie got game!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ That was both rude and hilarious.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Fightin' words have been uttered.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Old man just got dissed!

 _Candy Chiu:_ I apologize for laughing. But that was very funny.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Burn!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I hate all of you. Ford, stop laughing!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'm sorry, but that was very good.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I may be blonde, but I'm not stupid.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ If you weren't a girl I'd also smack you. But since you are I'll just have to smack Gideon twice.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Hey!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Come on, everyone, play nice!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Geez, that's the last time we leave you guys alone in a thread.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Your friends are jerks.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Just a bit.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks for the suggestions! We're going to hit up the library and make our choice.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Let us know who won.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's not a competition…

 _Soos Ramirez:_ No. It totally is.

* * *

Standing amongst the towering book stacks of Piedmont Public Library, Dipper pulled a crumpled piece of notebook paper from his jean pocket. He scanned the list of titles, the ones their friends had suggested to them.

Now came the greatest challenge- finding one he and his sister both liked.

"Guess we better get started." He lowered the paper and glanced over at his sister, who was admiring the aquarium located near the circular front desk. Her face was pressed against the glass as she stared gleefully at the colourful fish. "Mabel!"

"I'm coming," she returned, reluctantly pulling away. She shuffled across the dark red carpet and stood beside her twin, squinting down at the list he had made. "Where should we start?"

"At the beginning and we'll work our way down," decided Dipper. "First up is Little Women."

They started their search, squinting at the worn cutters on the spines, moving down the alphabet. They eventually found what they were looking for and Dipper pulled it off the shelf, coughing slightly as a cloud of dust rose up.

"Okay. Little Women." He flipped it over and scanned the summary on the back. "It's about four sisters who live with their mother, chronicling their experience during the Civil War-"

"Neeehhh!" cut in Mabel, imitating the sound of a buzzer and sticking her thumb downwards. "Already don't like."

"It's not _about_ the Civil War," said Dipper in exasperation. "For someone who likes to give things a lot of chances, you're really quick to judge a book."

Mabel shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say? I'm picky about my stories."

"We're not going to get anywhere if you're not willing to give this a shot," he sighed, sticking Little Women back into its proper place.

"Grunkle Stan said it was boring," spoke Mabel, crossing her arms.

"Grunkle Stan says a lot of things," said Dipper, unable to hide his amusement. "Come on. Mark Twain is up next."

They traversed through the musty stacks, soon coming across the next set of classics. Mabel pulled The Adventures of Tom Sawyer into her hands. "I've heard of this one. Tom's a bad boy, right?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "If you want to reduce a classic literary character into a stereotype, then yes. I guess he is the bad boy."

Mabel flipped to the first chapter and started skimming through the pages. Her eager expression quickly turned to confusion. "Why are they speaking like this?"

"It was the language of the times, particularly in the South."

"Yeah, I don't think so." Mabel clapped the book shut. "I'm getting Gideon vibes from just the first few paragraphs, and I don't know how I feel about that."

"I'm not entirely surprised that this was his choice. I guess it's also a no for the sequel?"

"A huge no."

"This is gonna be a long day," muttered Dipper.

They continued their search, moving through the adult fiction section. Robbie's suggestion was immediately flung back onto the shelf once Mabel caught sight of the cover, which bore a creepy-looking clown with a murderous stare. Dipper agreed with her on that one and they hastily left behind Stephen King's collection of horror novels.

Dipper thought that their best bet might be The Notebook, but when Mabel realized that it was the book that the famous movie was based off of, she promptly burst into tears.

"Stop it," he hissed, flapping his hands frantically and looking around to see if they had attracted any attention. "This is ridiculous." When her sobs only continued, he cried, "Okay, we won't do The Notebook, stop crying!"

Mabel hiccupped and rubbed the tears from her cheeks. "It was so sad," she bemoaned. "I'll never get over it."

"You're so weird."

"Like you can talk," she countered, her spell of forlornness fading as quickly as it had arrived. "Mr. Disco Girl."

"Oh, shut up and let's keep looking," he grumbled.

Mabel wandered further down the stack and found the book Ford had initially recommended. "Hey! Look, I found Of Mice and Men." She tugged the thin book out and smiled. "It's super short! This might be the one. Why did Grunkle Stan tell me not to read it?"

"Bunnies and a puppy die, and the ending is far from happy," said Dipper bluntly, smirking slightly at the horror that crossed his sister's face.

"Why'd you tell me that?!" she whined, shoving the novella none-too-gently back onto the shelf.

"For the Disco Girl jab."

"You're too sensitive."

"Says the girl who's upset over non-existent animals being killed."

Mabel huffed. "You are a heartless fiend."

Dipper could not help but laugh. "Maybe a little. But seriously, we've spent almost an hour here and we're no closer to finding a book. Our last options are The Hunger Games, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Dracula."

"You didn't say-"

"We are not doing Twilight," vowed Dipper, shooting his twin a knowing look. "No way."

"Fine," she grumbled, sticking her hands on her hips. "What's The Hunger Games about?"

"Kids are sent into an elaborate arena to fight to the death in a post-apocalyptic environment."

Mabel's eyes widened slightly. "Geez. Our friends need to start reading some happier books."

"Doesn't matter. I already know two groups who are doing that book." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd rather do something different. So that leaves Dracula and The Hunchback of Notre Dame."

They went to look for the latter, and Mabel gaped at the massive novel that Dipper lugged down from the wooden shelf. "Is Pacifica trying to kill us?"

"I think she meant it as a joke." Dipper checked the page numbers and whistled softly. "Over six-hundred pages."

"Yeah. So not gonna happen," declared Mabel.

"Does that mean we're deciding on Dracula? Because if not, we might as well take up Grunkle Stan's suggestion and pick up an issue of Gold Chains For Old Men."

"Ugh, this is hard." Mabel dropped to the floor, resting her chin against the palm of her hand. "I'm not really a fan of the classics."

"You're not really a fan of anything except for romance novels," pointed out Dipper.

"That's not completely true. I thought A Christmas Carol was good."

The two paused for a moment and stared at each other. "A Christmas Carol," repeated Dipper. "Short."

"Pretty easy to understand."

"Enough material for us to write a two-page book report."

"And it's something we both like!" cheered Mabel. "A Christmas Carol it is!"

"That only took us forever." Relieved that they had finally found a book for their report, Dipper stood up, lifting The Hunchback of Notre Dame with him. He found himself struggling under the weight, his thin arms shaking. "Mabel! Help me put this monster back!"

* * *

 _CC: The GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Finally found a book_

It took longer than it should have, but Mabel and I finally found a book for our English report. And no, it wasn't one of the ones you guys suggested. So you all lost.

But thanks anyway!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You guys are too picky.

 _Dipper Pines:_ No, Mabel's too picky.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I have very specific tastes! You're partly at fault. You wouldn't let us do Twilight!

 _Candy Chiu:_ Boo.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Hater.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, yeah, it's my fault.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ So what did you runts end up picking?

 _Dipper Pines:_ One of Charles Dickens' novels.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Which one?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I only know the one about the cities. Is it that one?

 _Dipper Pines:_ No, it's not A Tale of Two Cities.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Great Expectations?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Not that one either…

 _Mabel Pines:_ We chose A Christmas Carol!

 _Robbie Valentino:_ …seriously? You chose that over Stephen King's greatest work?

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ It's a classic, at least. Not a terrible choice I suppose.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ It's the middle of October. Why are you doing a Christmas book in the middle of October?

 _Dipper Pines:_ If you people can celebrate Halloween in the middle of summer, we can do a book report on a Christmas classic in the middle of fall.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Touché. Though I still think you should have done The Hunchback of Notre Dame…

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Oh, shut up, Princess.


	10. SUBJECT: Halloween

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **Have a Halloween chapter in April. Happy Springween?**

* * *

 _CC: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: HALLOWEEN!_

Woooo, Halloween is in a few days! It seems like yesterday that we celebrated Summerween. Yay for more candy!

Dipper and I are going trick-or-treating, and if we want to rake in a record-breaking amount of candy we're gonna need ultimate twin costumes. Share your ideas and help us in our candy conquest!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Uh, I don't know if asking them for suggestions is a good idea…it doesn't normally go in our favour.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Hey, our ideas are great. You just don't appreciate our genius.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Hear, hear!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ In fact, I have a great Halloween costume for you guys.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Don't keep us in suspense! What is it?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Lambs.

 _Dipper Pines:_ NO.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Sing it with me! Oooooooh-

 _Dipper Pines:_ SHUT UP.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Ha!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Nah, I think they should dress up as gremlins. More suitable.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Hmm…

 _Dipper Pines:_ He just insulted us, Mabel. Don't consider it.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ It was an insult of love.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dudes, you should totally be Jupiter Scouts.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Is that the anime where a group of kids have magical powers harnessed from the cosmos, powered up by special rings?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I am genuinely surprised you know that much.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Hey, I've worked with Soos long enough to retain all the anime info he rattles off. I may or may not admit that some of it sounds pretty cool.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Sounds promising! The kind of costume where I can add all the glitter!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ So…are there male characters or is Dipper gonna have to dress like a girl?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, I don't think so.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You don't have the legs for a skirt, anyway.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You could dress up as gnomes.

 _Mabel Pines:_ NO.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I thought you and the gnomes were cool now.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's a complicated relationship.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I don't think I ever heard the full story about you and those creeps…

 _Dipper Pines:_ I think we better keep it that way. Wendy, stop giving costume ideas.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Come on man, I have one more.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Fine. Let's get this over with.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dippy Fresh.

 _Dipper Pines:_ OUT.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Ha, I got to go anyway. Peace, homies!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't have a clue what you're talking about, but whatever, I have another idea. Wolf man and wolf girl.

 _Dipper Pines:_ No way. Brings back uncomfortable memories.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't think I'd be able to get my hands on that much fur anyway.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ If you want to be an animal, what about penguins? No fur for those dudes!

 _Dipper Pines:_ …you're watching something penguin-related, aren't you?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Maybe.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Animal costumes should be reserved for tourist trap exhibits.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I mean, I have the feathers…

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Go as pop stars.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Oooh, not bad!

 _Dipper Pines:_ He's setting up for a zinger. I know it.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Dipper can dress up as Disco Girl! HA!

 _Dipper Pines:_ First off, Disco Girl is the title of a song. Second off- oh, never mind. Grunkle Ford, where are you?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Sorry, my boy. Got caught up in some work. What's this about Halloween?

 _Mabel Pines:_ We need costume ideas!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Soos is the only one being remotely helpful. Grunkle Stan is here to mercilessly mock.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ As if I'd be here for anything else.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Be nice, Stan. Costume ideas, eh? Well, you could always go as a historical figure, such as George Washington or perhaps Socrates. On the more creative side, you could go as conjoined twins.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I think I smell a new summer exhibit.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …scratch the last one, kids.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Guess we still have some thinking to do, Dipping-Dots.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Thanks for trying, Grunkle Ford. We appreciate it. You too, Soos. Grunkle Stan, you're no longer allowed in our brainstorming sessions.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Heh. We'll see about that.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Halloween Superstore, here we come!

* * *

Racks of Halloweens costumes were spread throughout the seasonal store, along with buckets of accessories, shelves crammed with decorations and eerie music added to the spirited atmosphere. Adults milled about, in search of last-minute bags of candy as little kids ran happily down the aisles, shrieking and laughing.

Mabel displayed similar enthusiasm as she skipped across the tiled floor, a wide grin on her face. Her orange sweater bore a happy Jack-o'-lantern, and her matching headband glowed in rhythm with her steps. Passing children paused and stared with awed gazes, and Mabel beamed and waved in response.

Dipper followed his sister at a slower pace, his ushanka hanging halfway over his eyes. He watched Mabel in amusement, knowing that while most of her excitement stemmed from her desire to go trick-or-treating and gather candy, some of it was due to his agreement to participate.

Mabel had been mildly surprised by his quick willingness, since he had been so reluctant during Summerween. But Dipper figured being thirteen was really no different from twelve, so there was really no reason why he couldn't join in the Halloween festivities.

So here they were, in search of their next costume idea, as Mabel preferred to make the outfits herself. They browsed through the aisles, eyeing the costumes that now seemed cheesy after the things they had seen in Gravity Falls.

"You know, we really should stop asking the others for help and just figure things out ourselves," mused Dipper.

"But that wouldn't be much fun!" replied Mabel cheerfully, pausing to run her fingers through the colourful feathers of a peacock costume. "Hmm…"

"No," said Dipper sternly, aware of what his twin was thinking. "We are not going to be birds of any sort."

"Oh, fine." Huffing a slight breath of annoyance, she let the costume fall back into place on the rack. "You have any suggestions, then?"

"Er…not yet." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, slightly sheepish. He cast a look around at the various costumes. "I'm sure we'll find something. We're the Kings of Halloween, after all."

They continued looking, and after a bit Mabel came across a Robin Hood costume. "Hey, what about this?" she asked, removing the hat from the wire hanger and slipping it on. "I can be Robin Hood and you can be Little John."

Dipper scowled and set his hands on his hips. "Wait a minute. Why do I have to be Little John?"

Mabel smirked mischievously. "Because you're short, of course."

Her brother glared and punched her in the shoulder, causing her to cackle in a rather Stan-like manner. "Very funny," he grumbled.

"Aw, I'm just kidding." Mabel giggled and set the feathered hat back with its respective costume. "But I guess it's a no for good ol' Robin and John?"

"A big no."

They threaded out of the aisle and into the next one, where they discovered it was filled with superhero costumes. Dipper immediately grabbed Mabel by the arm and started dragging her to a different aisle. "But the capes!" she wailed, digging her heels into the floor. "I want a cape!"

"I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea of wearing tights. Not going to happen."

Mabel pouted as they entered another aisle of costumes and accessories. In one of the wire bins, she spotted a pair of devil horns. She snagged them, yanked off her brother's hat and shoved the red headband over his brunette hair.

"There," she declared with a smirk. "It suits you."

"I think it would look better on you," said Dipper with a snort, idly poking at the plastic horns.

"No way. I'm totally an angel. Angel's don't have horns."

She then paused, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. Dipper could practically see the gears turning in her mind and he grinned. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Totally, bro-bro. Let's get costume crazy!"

…

Halloween night was cool and brisk, the darkening sky signalling the start of a mad rush of kids on the hunt for Halloween candy. Mabel could hear the cheerful laughs and eager shouts from inside her own home and she shifted on her white Mary Jane-covered feet impatiently.

"Come on, Dipper!"

"Keep your halo on," he returned, and soon came into the living room a minute later. "I want to take a picture and send it to the others."

"Oh, okay. But hurry! We're wasting primo Halloween time!"

After getting struck by inspiration, Mabel created an angel costume and a devil costume for them to wear. She was of course the angel, wearing a long white dress with a golden ribbon around her middle. A gold halo attached to a white headband sat atop her head, and feathery wings were attached securely to her back. Her skin was almost completely covered in glitter, and so she shimmered every time she moved.

Dipper was her opposite, wearing a black dress shirt with a dark red suit jacket that he left unbuttoned. He also wore black slacks and dress shoes, a red forked tail attached to the back of his pants. His nails were painted black and he wore a pair of plastic pointed fangs. There were dark circles painted underneath his eyes, and to top the costume off were a pair of devil horns and a long red cape.

"Jealous of my awesome cape?" he asked teasingly, doing a little spin so that it would flair out.

"No way! Wings are so much better than capes." Mabel did a little twirl of her own. "We look so cool!"

"You did an amazing job," complimented Dipper.

"Just another day's work," she replied with a bright smile.

The two stood side by side, with her arms wrapped around his waist and his arm slung around her shoulders. They grinned up at the camera Dipper held over their heads and he clicked the button, the flash momentarily dazzling their vision.

"There," he said in satisfaction. "Now I just have to send it out. I'll be right back. Then it's candy time."

"Candddyyy!"

* * *

 _CC: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Candy time!_

 **1 Attachment (Photo file)**

Mabel and I are ready to hit the streets and collect as much cavity-inducing candy as possible. But before we headed out, I thought you'd be interested in seeing what costumes we came up with.

Happy Halloween!

Dipper Pines

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Wow. You dudes look totally sweet.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Technically, only Mabel looks sweet. Dipper looks sinister.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Costumes? What costumes?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Very funny, Stanley. Don't listen to him, kids. You look great.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'm just kidding. I guess you kids win this round.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ We've won a round? When?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Uh…let me get back to you on that.


	11. SUBJECT: Through the Ceiling

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **So...long time no see...**

 **Hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I'm going to try to aim for two updates a month (key word 'aim').**

 **Oh, I ordered Journal 3 from the bookstore, and the cashier told me it won't arrive until September because it's crazy popular. So good job guys! Gravity Falls forever!**

* * *

 _CC: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Slight problem…_

Okay, this is completely humiliating, but I have little options at this point. Long story short, I was in the attic, looking for something, then the floor gave way. I'm stuck and nobody's home. I know I said I'd never ask you people for suggestions again, but this time I'm making an exception.

* * *

The attic was freezing, and the thin blue fleece sweater he was wearing provided him with little warmth. Dipper shivered, thinking longingly of his toasty bedroom and cursing the attic for being out of reach of the house's heating system. He glanced around the small, cluttered space for the umpteenth time but found nothing that would be helpful to him—nothing that was within reach, anyway.

"I can't believe this is happening," he moaned.

His left hand had a death grip on the wooden support beam situated in front of him. The floor was creaking madly and he feared more of the old, worn floorboards would give way. Splintered pieces of wood and screws dug into his side and there was a sharp pain in his right leg. There was a sliver of space between his waist and the broken floor that allowed him to peer down and confirm that he was not bleeding.

The bottom half of his body hung rather precariously in thin air, while his upper half was stuck tight. No amount of wiggling dislodged him. Huffing out a frustrated breath, Dipper tried one more time to pull himself out, now gripping the wooden beam with both hands.

"Come on…come on… _come on!_ "

He yanked until his face was red with exertion and he was nearly certain some flesh had been torn off his body. Settling back into his helpless position, he shook out his throbbing hand. "I can take on Bill Cipher, but I can't free myself from a stupid hole. This sucks."

With his right hand he reached out and grabbed his slim black cellphone. He swiped his thumb across the touch screen and dialled Mabel's number. His fingers twitched anxiously at the dial tone and his lips morphed into a scowl when he once again received the voicemail message.

" _Hey-o, this is Mabel! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you after I'm done doing whatever it is that made me miss your call—it's probably something awesome. Oh, and remember, pigs rule and glitter makes everything better!"_

"Come on Mabel, where are you?" cried Dipper after the familiar-yet-annoying _beep_. "I've left, like, five messages! I've been here for ten minutes! I don't know what you're doing but you can do it later. Come and help me already!"

He hung up and noticed the red bubble attached to his e-mail app. Hoping that someone had responded to his e-mail, he tapped the blue square.

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Okay, this is completely humiliating, but I have little options at this point. Long story short, I was in the attic, looking for something, then the floor gave way. I'm stuck and nobody's home. I know I said I'd never ask you people for suggestions again, but this time I'm making an exception.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Wait, wait, let me just get something straight. Are you actually hanging between two rooms right now?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Was that not clear enough when I said that the floor gave way?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't get snippy with me, mister. Just because you're in an extremely humiliating situation is no need for a bad attitude.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I meant to be sarcastic, not snappy, but I am sorry. You really don't need to point out how embarrassing this is.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Look on the bright side—you've been in worse situations.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Can't argue with that one. Don't suppose you have any ideas?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You got a rope?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Not within my immediate reach.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ That's all I got, then.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You've got a sister.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, a sister who isn't answering her phone.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Parents?

 _Dipper Pines:_ They work all day. They don't get back until late, and I do not want to spend more than an hour up here.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ What about friends, dude?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I do not want anybody to see me like this. They'll never let me live it down.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ What, you think we will?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Mr. Pines has a good point—for once.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't start with me.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Are you okay, dude?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ If he wasn't, he would have said so right away.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I was wondering why you answered my message with wicked glee instead of concern.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ If you were bleeding to death, you would have called an ambulance instead of sending off a group e-mail. At least I'd hope so.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Hey, I bet the fire department could come help you, hambone.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I think I'll keep this face reserved solely for the Gravity Falls newspaper.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Good idea, kiddo. No need to scar all of California with your ugly mug.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Who you calling ugly? We share genetics, you know.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I wear them better.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Trying and failing not to laugh. Where is Mabel, anyway?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'll be darned if I know. I can hear Waddles snorting, so she didn't take him for a walk. Probably went to get some more craft supplies or something.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ How are you holding up, Dipper?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Grunkle Ford! I'm—

 _Grunkle Stan:_ HE'S HANGING IN THERE!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ …

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Ha! I get it! That's a good one, Mr. Pines.

 _Dipper Pines:_...you've been waiting to lay that one down, haven't you?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Hardy-har, Stanley. I tracked your sister's cellphone, Dipper, and she is certainly at the craft store. You can't get a hold of her because she's chatting with Candy right now.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Typical. Wait, you can track our phones?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ How do you think we're able to sleep at night?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I can cut into her conversation, if you would like.

 _Dipper Pines:_ PLEASE. I think there's a bat's nest in the corner and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a tetanus shot.

* * *

A plastic basket of various colourful craft supplies slung over one shoulder, Mabel chatted cheerfully into her phone, eyes roaming the rack of glossy-covered scrapbooks. "—so I can't believe that _Loud Lads_ fired their lead singer. His hair was fantastic, and his voice was heaven! They'll never have anything on _Sev'ral Times,_ of course, but they come a close second, though I don't know how they'll fare now that J.J.J. is gone—"

A static sound suddenly cut through her phone, causing her to halt her rapid-fire speaking to focus on the interruption. "Candy? Are you going through a tunnel or something?"

" _Mabel?"_

The static disappeared and the deep male voice emitted from her speakers. Bewildered, Mabel stared at her phone for a beat before answering. "Grunkle Ford? Uh, you know I'm always happy to talk to you, but I'm preeeeetty sure I was just talking to Candy."

" _I had to cut into your conversation, which I do apologize for. But your brother needs your help and he says he can't get a hold of you."_

Heart jumping into her chest, Mabel held her phone tightly to her ear as she asked anxiously, "Is he okay?"

" _Yes, yes, he's fine,"_ soothed Ford. _"It's just that he had a mishap. He was in the attic looking for something and fell through the floor. He's been stuck for the past twenty minutes or so. He can't pull himself out of the hole."_

The mental image of her brother's legs sticking through the ceiling, kicking madly in the air, caused her to giggle. "No way!"

" _I assure you that I am not making this up,"_ said Ford, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"I just gotta pay for my things and I'll be right home. Thanks, Grunkle Ford."

" _Of course, dear. Talk to you later."_

"Love you!"

" _Love you too."_

Mabel hung up and raced for the line of check-out counters, typing madly on her phone as she went. She shot off a quick text to Candy, promising to pick up their conversation later, before reading through the string of messages attached to her brother's e-mail before responding.

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ I leave you for five minutes and you break our ceiling?

 _Dipper Pines:_ MORE LIKE TWENTY MINUTES. Are you coming home or what? I need some help here!

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'm coming, I'm coming! I think you can stay stuck for another five minutes.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Take a picture for me, sweetie.

 _Dipper Pines:_ NO PICTURES.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Come on, you'll look back on this later and laugh with the rest of us.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah. MUCH later.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I once got stuck in the dumpster behind the Shack.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ That he did.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Multiple times.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Try being stuck in the multiverse.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ See, being stuck between your attic and kitchen isn't so bad.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Attic and living room, actually. And I've got a loose piece of wood sticking into my butt.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Whoa, too much information.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'd certainly check to make sure you're up to date on your shots.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Definitely.

* * *

It was a few minutes later when Mabel barged into her house, keys dangling from one finger and a plastic bag hanging on her arm. "Bro?" she called.

"Mabel! Finally! Get me out of here!"

His voice seemed to come from the direction of the living room. Dropping her stuff on the floor in the entry hall, Mabel entered the living room and immediately found her brother—or at least his legs. There was a mess of plaster and dust on the carpet, and Mabel could not help but snicker. She removed her phone from her pocket and snapped a quick picture.

"That better not have been the sound of you taking a picture," snapped Dipper, his ears picking up on the camera shutter's sound effect.

"Nope," said Mabel innocently.

She stuck her phone in her pocket and hurried up the stairs. The hatch leading to the attic was already pulled down, allowing her to ascend. She gingerly picked her way across the beams, not wanting to end up in a similar situation to her twin.

"How's it hanging, Dipping Dots?"

Dipper glared at her. "I already got that from Grunkle Stan, thanks."

He extended his hands and Mabel grabbed hold. With all her might she pulled, and it took a few tries before she felt Dipper sliding free of the hole he'd been snagged in. With a grunt she yanked him free, stumbling backwards in the process.

Wasting no time, Dipper rushed from the attic, sick of the place. Mabel was quick to follow, watching as stumbled along, legs stiff and numb. "You okay?"

"Yeah, after I slather myself with disinfectant and check on my vaccination history."

"What were you doing in the attic?"

"Looking for my old comic books. Mom cleaned out the basement and relocated them."

"Did you find them?" At the pointed look he shot her, Mabel grinned. "Guess not. You want help cleaning up the mess?"

"Please." Dipper dusted himself off with a grimace. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Don't fall through the floor."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Through the ceiling_

 **1 Attachment (Photo file)**

I couldn't resist!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dang dude, you really do have skinny legs!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Some duct tape will cover that hole right up, man.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Wow, you really did go right through that ceiling.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Oh man, this is gold! Good job, pumpkin! I think I'll frame this one!

 _Dipper Pines:_ MABEL!


	12. SUBJECT: Homework Help

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **Warning: this chapter deals with Mabel struggling with boring trigonometry concepts that I most likely screwed up, because I'll be darned if I ever understood it in the first place.**

 **Trigonometry is probably not eighth grade work, or at least maybe not this high of level, but it's been a while since I've actually been in the eighth grade. I remember doing stuff with triangles, and trigonometry (along with the quadratic formula and coordinates of the XY axis) is among my nightmares. So I used the subject matter that made me just as confused as Mabel is in this chapter.**

* * *

 _CC: Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Any math magicians in the house?_

Anyone here good at math? I've got trigonometry homework and I think that it's trying to kill me. Whose idea was it to put the alphabet in math? It was a terrible idea. The alphabet belongs in English and sparkly stickers.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Don't you mean mathematician?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Nope!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Just wondering. Sorry, girl, but I'm lucky to be getting a C right now. I can barely do my own homework.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You mean it gets worse?!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ So much worse.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Trigonometry? Is that the junk with the shapes? I'm terrible at that.

 _Mabel Pines:_ That makes two of us.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I don't really teach.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Meaning your tutor does your homework for you and you couldn't explain it to someone if your life depended on it.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I don't see the point in busy work. I know how to do it, I just can't explain how I do it to other people. Hence why I said I don't really teach.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks anyway, Pacifica.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Isn't your brother a nerd for this stuff? Why don't you ask him to help?

 _Mabel Pines:_ He tries, but his explanations are too complicated. Especially when it comes to math. He just knows how to do everything and assumes I know the basics. Which I totally don't.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I have some free time. I can help you with your homework over web chat if you're free now.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Perfect! Thanks, Candy! Just let me get my stuff together and I'll connect with you soon.

* * *

"…and then you follow through with the appropriate formula. Remember, there are different formulas for cosine law, tangent law and sine law. To determine which one to use, you'll have to make the judgement based off what length or angle you're solving for."

Mabel stared at her notebook, which was covered with blurred grey pencil marks and stray eraser shavings. The first two questions from her textbook were answered, thanks to Candy's help. But as she stared at the third problem, she was lost on where to begin.

Plastering a smile onto her face, she said, "Okay, three different formulas to solve for different things. Got it! Thanks, Candy."

On her computer screen, her best friend asked hopefully, "You understand it now?"

"Yup!"

"I knew you would. Math can be difficult. It just takes some time."

"Yeah…"

 _In my case, it's going to take a million years before I understand this stuff._

They spent the next few minutes chatting before bidding each other goodbye. Mabel turned off her webcam and the screen flashed to black. Blinking down at her textbook, Mabel rested her chin in the palm of her left hand and narrowed her eyes.

"All right…sine law is used with the length of the opposite side and the length of the hypotenuse. Cosine is used for the length of the adjacent side and the length of the hypotenuse. The tangent law is used for the ratio of the length of the opposite side and the length of the adjacent side."

She repeated this to herself for a few more times, almost like a mantra. She scanned the formulas she had written into her notebook and tried entering the corresponding numbers listed in her textbook. But her calculations came out wrong, leaving her to scowl in frustration.

"Ugh!" she groaned, letting her head thud onto her desk.

The bedroom door creaked open and Dipper peered inside. Sympathy flashed in his gaze at the sight of his defeated sister. "Not having any luck?"

"This is all so stupid. When am I ever going to use this in my life?"

"I don't know," said Dipper honestly. Though he knew there were plenty of careers that required such knowledge, he doubted his sister would ever pursue any of them. "But it might come in handy one day."

"Only if I ever want to bore somebody to death." Mabel slowly lifted her chin and rubbed at her tired eyes. "The only cos law I want to deal with is the kind I can eat."

Dipper grinned at that. "Stop it. You're to make me hungry for coleslaw and we don't have the stuff for it."

"What time is it?"

"Six."

"Geez."

She had been at her homework for two hours, and had gotten nowhere. With Candy's help she managed to finish two problems, but still had eight more to go, and it was due tomorrow. Twirling a pencil between her fingers, she stared helplessly at the triangles that seemed to be mocking her (or that very well could have been some post-Weirdmageddon stress).

"Why am I not getting this?" she asked in despair. "How come math comes so easy to you?"

"How come art and writing comes so easy to you?" countered Dipper. "Our brains are just wired differently, and that's okay. Remember what Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford told you when you were freaking over the science fair?"

"I shouldn't be comparing myself to you," said Mabel with a soft sigh. "I know, I know. I just wish I could borrow your brain for ten minutes."

"It's possible, but it would be a long, gory process and you probably won't get to hand in your homework on time."

"Darn. Oh well. It was an idea."

"Why don't you call Grunkle Ford and ask for his help?" suggested Dipper.

Mabel hesitated. "I don't know. If you and Candy can't get me to understand, I'm not sure he'll be able to do any better."

"He probably spent years helping Grunkle Stan with his homework. And you're way smarter than him," reasoned Dipper.

Mabel could not help but grin. "I'm telling him you said that."

"He's probably three oceans away. Go ahead." Dipper crossed his arms over his chest and stuck out his chin defiantly. "He doesn't scare me."

"Whatever you say, bro-bro," said Mabel in amusement. "I guess you have a point. I'll see if he can help."

Satisfied, Dipper nodded and left his twin to her homework. Mabel waved after him and then turned in her computer chair, eyeing the cellphone resting on the wooden surface. Taking a slow breath to calm her nerves, she picked up the slim device and dialled the well-known number.

 _He's not going think you're dumb,_ she said silently to herself. _It's like he said when I was worried about the science fair. I'm not Dipper. I don't have to be Dipper. I just have to be me._

Her great-uncle answered after a few rings. _"Hello, my dear."_

"Hey, Grunkle Ford." Picking up her pencil, she tapped the eraser bit against the wooden surface of the desk. "Are you busy?"

" _Never too busy to talk. What can I do for you?"_

"Well, I'm kinda stuck on my trigonometry homework." She paused, rethought her words and amended, "Actually, I'm super stuck. Do you think you could help me?"

" _Of course. What are you working on?"_

"Applying sine law, cosine law and tangent law," answered Mabel, wrinkling her nose as the terminology sent a shiver down her spine. "Dipper and Candy have tried explaining it to me but…I'm pretty slow at this stuff. I just don't understand how numbers work."

" _Stan was exactly the same way,"_ said Ford. _"He knows the value of a pile of money from a mere glance, but anything numerical not related to money and finance completely eluded him. Some people's brains are just wired differently, and some can comprehend concepts easier than others."_

"That's pretty much what Dipper said." Mabel let out a sigh. "But I've been at this for two hours and I'm starting to think I'll never get it."

" _You will,"_ said Ford in a confident tone. _"You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, Mabel."_

Smiling at the praise, Mabel felt a flicker of hope. "Thanks, Grunkle Ford."

" _Anytime, dear. Let's get to work."_

Borrowing her brother's phone, she snapped a few pictures of the textbook questions she needed to complete and sent them off to Ford. Her own phone pressed between her shoulder and ear, Mabel listened to his instructions as she once more reviewed the questions.

"Okay," she muttered, "for question three, I have to calculate side 'c'. That means the law I use is…uh…cos?"

" _Which part of the triangle is side 'c'?"_

"Er…" Mabel hastily glanced at the drawing in the textbook. "It's the longest one, so it's the…hypotenuse?"

" _Very good. And which angle corresponds with the side you're trying to solve for?"_

Mabel nibbled her bottom lip, thinking. "Um…angle 'c', which is the angle for the opposite side."

" _So that means the law you're going to use is…?"_

Shoulders slumping in defeat, Mabel admitted in a forlorn voice, "I don't know."

" _Don't get upset,"_ soothed Ford. _"Try using this trick. I taught it to Stanley when I tutored him. SOH-CAH-TOA."_

Mabel furrowed her brow. "What's that?"

" _SOH stands for sine-opposite-hypotenuse. CAH stands for cos-adjacent-hypotenuse. TOA stands for tan-opposite-adjacent. It'll help you determine which formula is appropriate for the question at hand."_

Mabel wrote the helpful hint into her notebook and said thoughtfully, "So that means the law I'm using for question three is the sine law."

" _Exactly!"_

Feeling a burst of pride, Mabel started writing out the formula. After she calculated it, she spoke her answer aloud and grinned widely when Ford confirmed she was right. "Yes!" she cheered.

" _Try the next one."_

Moving onto the next triangle, Mabel hesitated at the measurements and angles listed. As if sensing her growing apprehension, Ford spoke, _"Take your time. It's not a race. Even if you pick the wrong formula, you can always try again."_

After some thought, the girl chose to use the tangent law, and was delighted when she discovered she had gotten the answer right. "I did it on my first try!" she exclaimed. "That hardly ever happens!"

" _I knew you'd get the hang of it."_

For the next hour or so, Mabel went through the rest of her questions, with Ford offering clarification when she needed it. When she finished her last math problem, she felt a rush of relief and self-satisfaction. She was starting to understand how the laws of trigonometry worked, and she didn't need as much help as she thought she would the further she got into the homework.

" _Great job, Mabel,"_ said Ford in pride. _"You barely needed my help."_

"No way, you totally cleared up this law stuff," said Mabel feelingly. "I was so confused. I never knew which law to use. Thanks so much for your help. I'm sorry I took up a lot of your time."

" _It was my pleasure. Mabel, never feel ashamed of what you have trouble doing. Nobody is perfect, and I assure you there are plenty of people in this world who struggle with mathematical concepts. You're a smart girl. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."_

Warmth expanding through her chest, Mabel said, "I won't. Promise."

" _That's my girl. Anytime you need help with your homework, give me a call."_

"I will. Thanks again, Grunkle Ford. Love you."

" _Love you too, dear."_

Hanging up, Mabel regarded her finished math homework and smiled in a smug manner. "Ha, you tried to defeat me. But I've dealt with way more sinister and deadly triangles than you losers!"

* * *

 _CC: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: I ACED IT_

We had a pop quiz today on trigonometry, and I got perfect! I demolished those stupid triangles! I'M AWESOME!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Fantastic job, Mabel! I had no worries. Stan passed all of his math classes, and you're certainly smarter than he is.

 _Mabel Pines:_ That's what Dipper said!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Very funny Ford—wait, your brother said _what?_

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yup! He said I was way smarter than you, and he doesn't care if you know he said that, because he's not scared.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Oh he did, did he?

 _Dipper Pines:_ So according to your last postcard, you're currently out of the country. So yes, I did say what Mabel said I said. COME GET ME.


	13. SUBJECT: Worried Grunkles

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Giant sea turtles_

Hey runts, you won't believe the size of these turtles we found! They're huge! You could probably fit two Gompers and a Waddles on its back. I tried to wrangle one to bring back to the Shack for next summer but Poindexter wouldn't let me. We got pictures of them, and we even spotted some babies. If you got some free time, we'll show you what we found.

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Checking in_

It's been a few hours since Stanley informed you of our Galapagos turtle findings. I understand you may be busy with homework or other engagements, but you've always been prompt in responding to our messages. I must confess Stanley and I are a little worried. Could you check in to set your paranoid great-uncles at ease?

* * *

"What time is it?"

Glancing away from the map with the colourful lines that detailed various bus routes, Dipper took a quick peek at the watch strapped around his wrist. "Almost five," he muttered. Letting out a huff of air, he crossed his arms over his chest. "What a waste of a day."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with Fresno," said Mabel optimistically. "It's not where we wanted to go, but let's have some fun anyway."

"We won't have much time to spend walking around," spoke Dipper, though he followed his sister out of the bus shelter and down the sidewalk. "We're going to have to leave a half hour early to make it home by curfew. I can't believe we took the wrong bus."

Mabel shrugged. "Bus 72, Bus 27, probably a bunch of people have made that mistake."

The two had intended to go to Berkeley for a lecture by a historian Dipper admired. But they boarded the wrong bus on the transfer and ended up in the opposite direction. By the time they realized their mistake it was too late. Embarrassed and confused, the twins filed off the public transit to regain their bearings.

Heaving a sigh, Dipper shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I spent a lot of money on that ticket."

Mabel felt a rush of sympathy for her brother, who was completely miserable. Though she didn't have much interest in this lecture, their parents would not let them travel outside of Piedmont unless they were together. As much as she'd rather explore Fresno than spend two hours waiting as he listened to some old guy chatter on, she wanted Dipper to be happy.

"Okay, so we take the bus back to Berkeley," she soothed. "No biggie. We can party in Fresno another day."

"With what money?" asked Dipper, arching an eyebrow. "We only have enough for a trip back home."

"So we take a cab back to Piedmont," said Mabel cheerfully. "We'll have to use our emergency credit card to pay for the fare, but I'm sure Mom and Dad will understand."

Mulling over this for a moment, Dipper said hopefully, "If we leave now, we might just make it. We'll end up being late for curfew, but I'm sure Mom and Dad will understand."

"Then let's go!" cheered Mabel.

She grabbed his hand and the pair checked for oncoming cars before hurrying across the street. They waited ten minutes for the bus to arrive and climbed on, paying the fare and settling in one of the front seats. It took roughly two hours to get to Berkeley and it was nearly seven when the twins rushed into the public library.

"See?" said Dipper with a smile. "There's a reason I like to get to appointments and events early."

"Ridiculously early," said Mabel in amusement. "But I guess this time it was helpful. If we hadn't had all that spare time we probably would have missed it completely."

"It should be starting any second. I'm going into the program room. Are you going to wait out here?"

"Yup. I hear some romance novels calling my name."

"Of course you do." Dipper rolled his eyes playfully. "The lecture lasts two hours. I'll see you then."

Mabel saluted him. "Will do. Have fun with your nerd thing!"

Dipper waved and headed in the direction of the program room, where a sizeable group of adults and university-aged students were already seated. Mabel crossed the beige carpet and towards the fireplace seating area. She sat down in a faded, worn pink chair and dug through her purse. She removed her cellphone and pressed the power button. Her brow furrowed when the screen remained firmly black.

"What the…?" she muttered, trying again but to no avail. She struggled to think of when she last charged her phone. "Ah, man. Out of juice."

After a bit more rummaging she removed her spare charger. She found an electrical socket near the fireplace and plugged in her phone. She retrieved a romance novel from one of the wire spinners and curled up against the cushions, soon getting lost in the words of passion.

…

Pacing through the small kitchen space, Stan shot continuous glances at the two cellphones resting in the middle of the wooden table. His anxiety levels rose with every passing minute the phones stayed silent.

Seated on the cushioned bench, Ford watched his brother, his fingers tapping nervously against the table's surface. "Stanley, if you keep that up you're going to wear out the floor," he admonished. "Getting yourself worked up into a state isn't going to solve anything."

Stan paused and shot Ford a glare. "You're one to talk," he said.

Ford hastily linked his fingers together to prevent his nervous tic. "We're being ridiculous."

"We haven't heard from them in hours," snapped Stan, cold tendrils of worry in his gut. "That's not normal. We hear from the kids at _least_ three times a day."

"I know it's odd, but they have school and friends. They probably got caught up in something. Piedmont is hardly Gravity Falls."

"You're right. There may be nothing supernatural, but there's plenty of lowlife scum. What if they got mugged or something and they're in the hospital?"

"We can't jump to such conclusions. If we do, we'll just drive ourselves crazy." At the pensive expression on his brother's face, Ford stood and went to set a firm hand on his shoulder. "I know we have a good reason to be paranoid after everything we've been through. But Dipper and Mabel faced an all-powerful demon more than once. They can take care of themselves."

"I know," said Stan gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Doesn't mean I'll stop worrying."

It was Ford's turn to say, "I know."

They stood in silence for a moment, which was broken by the loud trilling of Stan's cellphone, the ringtone he had assigned to Mabel. In unison, the two launched towards the phone, nearly overturning the table with their efforts.

…

After reaching the halfway point in her novel, Mabel glanced up to check the time, slightly relieved to see that Dipper would be nearly finished. She was hungry and tired and ready for a bowl of chips and her bed. Adjusting her position, she was about to continue reading when she remembered her phone.

Jumping out of the chair, she went over to where her phone was charging. She tapped the power button and was relieved when the screen erupted with life. Her relief faltered when she discovered she had about ten missed calls from her great-uncles. There were also four voicemails, two apiece, occurring a few hours apart. Selecting the last one, which came from Stan, Mabel held her cellphone to her ear and listened intently.

" _All right, this isn't funny. I don't know what you kids are doing, but it can't be important enough for you not to answer a single one of our calls. No one's answering the home phone either. Are in trouble or something? If you don't call one of us back by nine o'clock Piedmont time, we're calling the authorities."_

Mabel flinched. Stan's voice was not at all happy and his worry was palpable. "Oh shoot," she murmured, going back to the home screen. She noticed she had two e-mails and her guilt skyrocketed when she realized Stan and Ford had been trying to get a hold of them since three, roughly six hours ago.

Frantically dialling Stan's number, Mabel barely had to wait a ring when her great-uncle's voice boomed across the line. _"Where have you been?!"_

"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, distraught. "We didn't mean to make you worry!"

" _Dipper's with you, then?"_ Ford asked, his voice joining Stan's.

"Yes, he is. He's at a lecture right now, which is kind of the reason we've been super silent." Mabel bit down on her lip. "He forgot his phone in his excitement and I didn't charge mine so that's why I'm so late in answering your calls. I'm _so_ sorry."

Her eyes started to burn with tears, because she completely understood the stress she and her brother had unintentionally put them through. They would react the same way if they had gone such a stretch of time without hearing from their great-uncles. The feeling of intense panic and utter fear—she and Dipper had experienced it when Ford had been turned to gold, and when they thought Stan had lost his memories forever. She could only imagine how Stan and Ford had felt, trapped in that cage, as the two lured Bill away. They nearly lost each other, and none could stand to go through such agony again.

Hearing the tremor in his niece's voice, Stan instantly felt guilty for making her upset. _"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not mad, pumpkin. We're not mad. We were just worried."_

" _I'm afraid we overreacted, dear. It's not your fault,"_ soothed Ford.

"Yes it is," said Mabel stubbornly. "We shouldn't have been so careless."

Dipper arrived then, separating from the flow of people making their way towards the exit. His happy smile immediately faded at the tears in his sister's eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked anxiously, hurrying to her side.

Mabel lowered her phone slightly and informed, "Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford have been trying to get a hold of us since this afternoon. We made them worry."

Eyes wide, Dipper slapped at his pockets, remembering that he had forgotten his phone in his rush. "What happened to your cellphone?"

"I let it die," she said miserably. "I just finished charging it."

Face falling, Dipper felt guilt claw at his stomach. "We're so sorry."

" _Stop it,"_ said Stan firmly. _"Your sister already apologized too many times. We're the ones who should be sorry. We're just paranoid old men."_

" _We haven't quite recovered from Weirdmageddeon. We shouldn't get so anxious when we don't hear from you. You're safe in Piedmont."_

"I think it'll be a while before we fully recover," said Dipper, rubbing at the back of his neck. "But we'll be back to normal someday."

" _Normal?"_ scoffed Stan. _"Since when have we ever been normal?"_

Mabel laughed at that, using her free hand to scrub at her eyes. "Never."

A librarian stepped into the seating area and politely shooed them towards the door. Dipper hastily apologized and hurried out into the dark November night with his sister. _"Who was that?"_ asked Ford.

"Just one of the librarians telling us the place was closing," explained Dipper. "I was at a history lecture at Berkeley Public Library."

" _Mabel said you took the wrong bus."_

"Yeah, we did. We took the wrong transfer and ended up in Fresno. I'm glad we left early because we were able to make it to Berkeley just in time for my program. It's been kinda a long day."

" _It's what, nine o'clock there?"_ Stan asked. _"How are you getting home?"_

"We're taking a cab. Actually, I think I see one now."

"I got it!" Passing the phone to her brother, Mabel stepped to the curb to hail the oncoming yellow vehicle.

" _Aren't you two past your curfew?"_

"A little bit," admitted Dipper. "But when we call Dad to let him know everything's good we'll just have to explain why we're calling later than usual."

" _Geez, aren't your parents ever home?"_ scoffed Stan.

"Nope. They work all the time—they always have." Dipper paused, watching as the cab rolled up next to Mabel. "And here's the taxi. You want us to call back when we get home?"

" _Are you kidding? We finally managed to reach you. Plus you're getting into a car with a stranger at night. I think that's enough reason for you to stay on the line until you're safe at home."_

"Fine with me." Grinning, Dipper hurried over and climbed into the back of the vehicle. Mabel rattled off their address and soon they were travelling down the orange-yellow lit streets. "I wanted to tell Grunkle Ford about the lecture, anyway."

" _I would love to hear about it, Dipper."_

Mabel rolled her eyes and she knew Stan was doing the exact same. "Boring stuff later," she piped up playfully. She rested her chin on Dipper's shoulder so she was closer to her phone. "Tell us about the giant sea turtles. Especially the babies."


	14. SUBJECT: Bully Problem

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **Warning: this chapter contains bullying.**

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Running late_

Hey kids,

I just wanted to give you some warning that Stan and I may be late for our video chat. We're facing some rough waves here and we can't spend too much time below deck. We'll be fine, just delayed. We'll text you when we reach calmer waters.

See you in a bit!

* * *

The pair of rough hands collided with Dipper's chest, sending him sprawling backwards to the pavement. He landed with a grunt, his bare skin scraping against the black surface. A burly blonde loomed above him, a sneer on his freckled face.

"What the matter, Dipstick?" he taunted. "Haven't you toughened up yet? I'm getting tired of having a sparring partner who doesn't spar back."

Gritting his teeth, Dipper got slowly to his feet, watching the classmate who had been bullying him for years warily. "And I'm getting tired of dealing with you," he snapped. "Just leave me alone Freddie."

"Wow, someone's gotten bolder," sneered Freddie. "You normally know better than to talk back to me. That stupid hat must be melting your brain."

The second his fingertips brushed the beige ushanka, Dipper's eyes flashed and he kicked out, nailing Freddie in the shins. The blonde hopped backwards with a startled yelp, reaching down to rub the bruising limb.

"Don't touch my hat," hissed Dipper, clinging to it protectively. "Don't touch _me_. I'm giving you one last warning, _Fredrick._ Back off and grow up. Picking on people isn't cool. It only shows how insecure you really are."

There was a collective _ooh_ from the onlookers gathered around, none of which seemed much inclined to intervene. The fighting between Freddie and Dipper was a well-known display, but Dipper had never defended himself to such a degree.

Face flushing red with rage, Freddie reached out and grabbed Dipper by the front of his shirt. "I'll show you insecure!"

"Yeah, that doesn't make sense," retorted Dipper.

He managed to wrench himself from Freddie's grip, not before getting caught across the eye with his fist. Shocked for a brief moment, Dipper shook away the stars swirling in his head and retaliated. He ducked the second fist and slammed his head into Freddie's gut. Winded, the blonde stumbled back a few steps, unable to prepare himself to counter the punch sailing his way. Dipper's fist landed squarely in his nose, a satisfying _crunch_ audible.

"You little creep!" shouted Freddie, one hand clutching his bleeding nose. "I'm gonna crush you—"

" _Who're you calling a creep, Hawser?"_

Barrelling through the crowd was a blur of pink and brown. Mabel catapulted herself into Freddie, sending him crashing to the ground. She placed one foot on his chest as Dipper moved to stand by her side.

"Leave my brother alone!" she cried, glaring angrily at the one who caused her sibling so much grief over the years. "I'm not gonna tell you again. If I ever see you messing with him again, I'm gonna knock you a good one one!"

Mabel, who before the summer could never have looked threatening if her life depended on it, now radiated intimidation. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and her fists were clenched at her sides. Her foot was digging into his skin with enough force to add another bruise. Dipper's punch had hurt more than Freddie ever thought it would, evident by the fact the thin boy actually broke his nose.

"Yeah, all right!" whooped someone from the crowd, and the others quickly started a chant with, "Pines, Pines, Pines!"

Seeing that he was outnumbered and the mass was no longer on his side, Freddie straggled to his feet, silently fuming. "Whatever," he bit out viciously. "You're not worth my time anyway."

"Funny," drawled Dipper. "I've always thought the same about you."

Nursing his throbbing nose, Freddie slunk off, shoulders slumped with humiliation and anger. Mabel watched him go before turning a sharp frown on the crowd, their chanting coming to a slow halt. "Thanks for the help," she snapped, irritated with their bystander behaviour.

"Come on," muttered Dipper, taking her gently by the arm. "Let's go home."

Thanks to Freddie's instigation, the two missed their bus and started the trek for home. Mabel tucked her brown hair behind her ears. "Typical. There's never a teacher around when you need one." She regarded her twin worriedly. "He really got you. Does it hurt?"

Dipper reached to gently prod his right eye, flinching at the pain the soft touch ignited. "Very. But I think Fredrick got it worse."

"I can't believe him," said Mabel furiously. "What have you ever done to him?"

"Well, I'm quiet and weak. A natural prey for the predators of the world." Dipper rubbed his sore knuckles, a soft smile crossing his face. "I took long enough to fight back, huh?"

"Definitely," agreed Mabel. "But you were great. The look on Fredrick's face when you punched him was hilarious."

"I'll remember it forever." Dipper nudged his sister's arm affectionately. "Thanks for always coming to my rescue."

"Of course. No one gets to push you around. That's my job."

"Yeah, and you do it better than anyone," he quipped.

Studying Dipper's injury, Mabel remarked, "Wait until Grunkle Stan sees that."

"Oh, no way!" he said quickly, shaking his head hard. "He's not going to know about this."

"Why?" she asked, bewildered. "He's the one who toughed you up over the summer. He'd be proud to know you defended yourself."

"Sure, but then he's going to want to know how long he's been picking on me." Dipper kicked at the ground bitterly. "I'll have to tell him it's been since the day we pretty much started school. He'll know just how much of a wimp I really am."

"Was," corrected Mabel. "Not that you were a wimp—you just didn't like fighting. Remember the boxing lessons Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford had to take? They were bullied too. They'll understand. They'll never think less of you for being a victim."

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a headache beginning to brew because of the pain. "I know," he said softly. "I guess I'm just embarrassed it took me this long to fight back."

"Hey, better late than never." Mabel linked arms with him. "Let's go home and get some ice on that shiner. If it swells shut we can get you an eye-patch. You can be a pirate!"

"Yeah, I'd rather not."

…

At the sound of her text alert, Mabel rolled over on her bed and reached for her phone. She quickly scanned the text and called, "Dipper, they're ready!"

Her brother entered their shared bedroom a minute later, a new bag of ice pressed against his injured eye. "Geez, about time. Must've been some storm they were going through."

The twins went over to the laptop sitting on their desk and Dipper dragged over a beanbag for Mabel to sit in. They positioned the webcam and soon their screen was filled with the familiar faces of their great-uncles, who looked pretty weather-beaten.

"Yikes, you guys don't look so good," voiced Mabel with a giggle.

" _We_ don't look so good?" asked Stan incredulously, instantly zeroing in on the ice Dipper clutched to his face. "Your brother isn't looking so hot either."

"What happened?" asked Ford in concern.

Though Dipper briefly debated on making up some excuse, he knew it wouldn't work. The problem with having a professional conman for a relative was that you couldn't sneak many lies past him. "Got into a fight after school," he said with a sigh.

Stan's eyes narrowed. "Who jumped you?"

"He didn't jump me. He just insulted me and pushed me around," muttered Dipper. "It escalated when I fought back."

"Totally not his fault," chimed in Mabel. "Fredrick's been picking on Dipper for a while. He was just defending himself."

"We know," soothed Ford. "We would never think Dipper instigated a confrontation. Are you okay?"

"Fine." Dipper lowered his ice pack so they could see the fading black eye. "Just going to have this for a while."

"This punk has been messing with you for a while? Exactly how long?" pressed Stan.

Dipper flushed. "I dunno. Since the first grade, I guess? He was always taller and stronger and he chose me, his opposite, as his target."

Ford frowned sharply. "It's been going this long and no one's done anything about it?"

"The teachers sorta just sat Fredrick and Dipper down and told them to work it out," explained Mabel when Dipper shrunk in his seat, forlorn. "That ended badly, so Dipper kept it quiet. Our parents don't know. They work pretty much twenty-four/seven and Dipper didn't want to bother them with this. We've dealt with it."

"By yourselves?" demanded Stan. "Nobody stood up for you?"

Dipper and Mabel exchanged glances. "Not really," the boy finally answered. "We don't have too many friends here. They think we're weird."

"That's why we love Gravity Falls so much," added Mabel. "It's the first time we've ever had so many true friends."

This admission caused the two men to fall into silence. Stan gripped the edge of the table, knuckles white, as anger coursed through him at the loneliness his kids were forced to deal with. Ford had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, not missing the parallels that once more presented themselves. Dipper and Mabel were so much like himself and Stan, more than Ford wanted. He could vividly remember his days with his brother exploring the beaches of their childhood, and the bullies that scoffed and sneered at them. He knew what that feeling of isolation felt like, and it ached him to his core to know that Dipper and Mabel were experiencing the same thing.

Nervous at the tense silence that stretched on, Dipper hastened to add, "But that's okay. We're okay."

"No, it's not okay," said Stan furiously. "You're great kids, you hear me? No one has the right to treat you like this."

"That's right," agreed Ford wholeheartedly. "Your classmates are so caught up in the student structure of the school system that they refuse to acknowledge the ones deemed 'misfits' because they want to be cool. It's all utter nonsense. There's no such things as cool. It's all a construct."

"I dunno, Wendy's pretty cool," said Dipper in a weak attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Stan could not help but crack a slight smile at that. "Wendy's in a league of her own, kiddo." His expression then went back to serious. "If that Fredrick jerk tries to pull something, let us know. We'll deal with it."

Dipper eyed him. "I know you have contacts from your previous 'business' dealings, so that vague threat makes me slightly uncomfortable."

"Send the gnomes after him!" said Mabel eagerly.

"I don't think we're able to send an entire tribe of a mystical creature across state lines," said Ford in amusement. "But if you do have any more problems, do let us know immediately."

"I think Fredrick's done with his bullying. Dipper really clocked him one," said Mabel cheerfully.

Stan brightened at this, looking at his nephew, impressed. "You did?"

"Yeah." Dipper smiled. "I think I broke his nose."

Stan burst into laughter at that. "That's my boy! Did you use the left-hook?"

"Yup!"

As his great-uncle beamed at him with pride, Dipper suddenly felt foolish for thinking, even for a second, he would be thought less of. Stan and Ford had been in the exact same position he and his sister were in. They knew better than anyone the trials one had to face when being perceived as different and odd. It was because of them, and their friends in Gravity Falls, that Dipper and Mabel learned to be comfortable with themselves.

Their days of being bullied were over. They would fight back and stand up for themselves. And if a certain blonde didn't learn his lesson…

Well, Dipper was sure Ford and Stan would drive the point home.

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Package on the way_

I sent something that might be of use to you, kiddo. It went by express mail, so it should get to you within a couple of days. How's it going? That Fredrick kid giving you any more trouble?

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: RE: Package on the way_

Wow, thanks a lot, Grunkle Stan! I can't believe your old boxing gloves are still in good condition. You must have really taken care of them. I'll be careful with them, I promise.

I'm doing great. My eye doesn't hurt anymore. I actually brought the boxing gloves to school today to sort of show them around. Fredrick saw me and literally ran in the other direction! His nose had a cast on it and everything. It was hilarious. Mabel nearly died laughing.

Thanks for everything, Grunkle Stan. If it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have had the ability to punch Fredrick that hard in the first place. I appreciate everything you've ever taught me.

Love you.


	15. SUBJECT: Thanksgiving

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **We've reached the end of November with this chapter. If you have any prompts to take place in the month of December (there will be five in total), feel free to share and I'll see what I can do.**

 **Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in Canada!**

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Turkey day plans_

Hey runts,

What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Besides eating your weight in food.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'll be eating double my weight! All the pie and potatoes and vegetables and meat!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Which will be done not on Thanksgiving Day. We'll probably have our dinner a couple of days later.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Let me guess. Your parents will be working.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Most likely. That's what happens when your mom is a doctor and your dad is a surgeon, both of whom are constantly on call.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You'd be surprised how many accidents happen in the kitchen that require surgery on Thanksgiving.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It can get pretty gruesome. Some people shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ It doesn't bother you that they're workaholics?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Sometimes. It's a lot better now that we're old enough to stay home alone. Some of our babysitters were pretty rude. One of them didn't even like glitter!

 _Dipper Pines:_ We're used to it anyway. We celebrate holidays, just not on the day most people do. In a couple of days Mabel will probably make a pumpkin pie and I'll make turkey sandwiches. It'll be our own mini Thanksgiving dinner.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Definitely. Don't forget my seasonal Mabel Juice! With twice the amount of pumpkin spice!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah…I think I'll stick with apple juice. How about you, Grunkle Stan? What will you and Grunkle Ford be doing?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Travelling.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Hilarious. Will your dinner consist of oysters and squid?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ There's nothing wrong with a good oyster, runt. We'll probably dock somewhere and have a home-cooked meal from a diner. A boat isn't exactly a place to cook a full Thanksgiving meal.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You could always try. And if the kitchen catches on fire, you're surrounded by water.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ We've already got a few scorch marks from some of Ford's failed experiments. I don't think I want to test how many punches this old boat can take. We'll figure something out. We'll have a chat on Thanksgiving, all right? We can eat our turkey together.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Whoooo! Thanksgiving video conference!

 _Dipper Pines:_ The twenty-first century is a wonderful place.

* * *

When the twins awoke on Thanksgiving morning, it was see a piece of notebook paper stuck to the refrigerator. In messy penmanship that only they could decipher, their mother informed them that there was a store-bought turkey in the fridge and that she and their father wouldn't be back until midnight.

"It's a go for the turkey sandwiches," said Dipper, opening the white door and studying the small-sized bird. "You still going to make the pumpkin pie?"

It was a foolish question, for Mabel was already flitting about the kitchen. She wore a brown sweater with a turkey on the front and cornucopia earrings. Bowls, measuring utensils and ingredients started to build up on the grey-speckled counter.

"On it bro-bro," she affirmed, reading over the stained recipe card that detailed the steps for making pumpkin pie.

"Do you need any help?"

She glanced over at him in amusement. "I thought you didn't like baking."

"Can't stand it," said Dipper honestly. "But I'd feel bad going back to bed while you do all the work."

"Baking is not work. It's an art."

"Which is why I'm so terrible at it," said Dipper with a laugh. "If you need any assistance, give me a shout."

"Will do!"

Dipper left his sister to her own devices (which may or may not end in slight chaos) and returned to their bedroom. He climbed into his warm bed and snuggled under his covers. His eyes were closed for no more than ten minutes when his cellphone started to buzz on his nightstand table.

"Hello?" he answered, holding the device to his ear and sitting up, rubbing his fingers idly through his messy brown hair.

" _Hello, Dipper."_

"Grunkle Ford?" Surprised, Dipper glanced at his alarm clock, which stated it was eleven-thirty in the morning. "Hey. What's up?"

" _Just wanted to call and wish you a happy Thanksgiving. Are your parents around?"_

"Uh…no," said Dipper, bemused. "They're at the hospital. They won't be back until midnight."

" _Ah. I see."_

If Dipper detected the relief in Ford's voice at this information, he ignored it as his confusion took over. Something about this phone call seemed odd, for his great-uncles rarely ever called him or his sister in the morning. They always waited until the afternoon or evening, no matter the time difference on their end.

"Where are you guys? Did you find someplace to dock?"

" _We did. We managed to find a pretty busy area to spend the day. We're hoping to find a diner that's open.. I haven't had turkey in ages."_

"If you don't have any luck, we'll send our leftovers," joked Dipper. "I don't know how appetizing a turkey sandwich will be after being sent in the mail, but hey, it could be an experiment."

" _I'd rather avoid food poisoning, but thanks for the offer,"_ said Ford in amusement.

They spoke for a little while longer before they bid each other goodbye. There was something rather mischievous about the way Ford said, "I'll talk to you soon," but Dipper just shrugged and snuggled against his pillows, where he caught another hour of sleep.

…

 _Beep! Beep! Beep!_

Mabel jolted as the smoke alarm wailed, almost dropping her half-finished pitcher of Mabel Juice. She hastily set the plastic container on the countertop and lunged for the oven, turning off the heat. She then raced for the smoke alarm and tried to turn it off, but she could not reach.

Dipper stumbled into the hall a minute later, exasperation written across his face. Waddles ran around his feet, squealing at the high-pitched noise. "It's not a holiday until you set off the smoke alarm."

"What?" cried Mabel, unable to hear her brother over the screech.

Rolling his eyes, Dipper went into the kitchen and retrieved a stool. He used it to boost himself up and remove the device, flicking it off and halting the noise. "I said it's not a holiday until you set off the smoke alarm."

"I was an accident!" Mabel went into the kitchen, Waddles following at her heels. Using one foot to keep her curious pig at bay, she opened the oven and coughed at the smoke that drifted out. She grabbed an oven mitt and removed the pumpkin pie. "It's not dead," she declared, setting it on top of the stove to cool. "Probably just a little crispy."

It was blackened, which was certainly a good sign. Dipper went over and cranked open the window above the sink to air out the space. "I'm going to get dressed. Try not to set anything else on fire."

"The pie wasn't on fire," huffed Mabel. As he departed she went to finish up her Mabel Juice, adding in some more pumpkin spice and giving the contents a stir, the plastic turkeys knocking against the sides of the pitcher. She put the drink in the fridge to keep cool and tucked her long hair behind her ears. "Time to get out the craft supplies!"

She walked to her bedroom door and rapped her knuckles against the wood. "Are you decent?"

"Yes."

Mabel nudged open the door and went for her closet, starting to rummage through her various craft bins. "We definitely have to do the hand turkeys," she stated, removing autumn-coloured feathers and setting them aside. "Ooh, and maybe we can find enough leaves outside to make a wreath."

"Sounds good to me." Dipper finished wrestling his light orange sweater over his head and smoothed it out. "What do you want for lunch?"

"Turkey sandwiches."

"Mabel, we're going to have turkey sandwiches tonight."

"It's Thanksgiving. You can never have too much turkey on Thanksgiving," she said seriously.

"Pretty sure you can."

Ignoring him, Mabel collected the rest of her supplies and brought them into the living room, setting everything onto the coffee table. The doorbell ringing caused her to pause, a curious expression crossing her face.

"Were you expecting anyone?" she asked.

Dipper stared towards the front door, perplexed. "No one."

"Maybe it's Thanksgiving carollers."

"I sincerely doubt it."

"Oi, runts! Hurry up and let us in before someone calls the cops and tells them there's a couple of homeless bums trying to break into a house."

For a very brief moment, the twins thought they were imagining things. Mabel was the first to react. With a smile that nearly split her face into two, she screamed, _"Grunkle Stan!"_ and charged towards the door, flinging it open.

Standing outside on the porch, wearing bulky sweaters and worn-out jeans, were Stan and Ford. Stan easily caught the girl, hugging her tightly to his chest. Ford stumbled back a few steps as Dipper then flung himself at him with a delighted laugh.

"You two have grown since we last saw you," observed Ford, ruffling Dipper's hair underneath his ushanka.

"It's only been a few months," said Mabel with a giggle, arms wrapped around Stan's neck. "What are you doing here?"

"We came for dinner," quipped Stan, tweaking her nose. "You better have it ready."

Noticing the plastic bags resting on the stone porch. Dipper peered inside. "Looks like you found a diner," he said in sudden realization. "How long have you been in California?"

"Literally just a few hours," answered Stan. "You have no idea how fast our boat had to move in order to get here in time. Then we had to find a place to dock. Let me tell you, its weird spending so much time on land after living on the water. Now come on, let's this food before it gets cold. I'm starved."

They all entered the house and went into the kitchen. When the bags were set on the counter, Mabel went to wrap her arms around Ford while Dipper embraced Stan. "I can't believe you're actually here," said Mabel gleefully, clinging to the bespectacled man's waist.

"We thought it's about time we stopped by," said Ford with a warm smile, running his fingers through Mabel's long hair. "Besides, I was rather firm on spending my first Thanksgiving back in this dimension with my favourite kids."

"I had no arguments," added Stan, giving Dipper a light noogie. "We just didn't know if it was smart to make an appearance while your parents were here. Thankfully we didn't have to worry about that."

"It's more of a Thanksgiving lunch than a Thanksgiving dinner," amended Ford. "But I didn't think you would mind."

"Not in the slightest," said Dipper cheerfully.

Soon the wooden table was covered with white cardboard containers of food—sliced up turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, steamed vegetables, three types of salad (carrot, coleslaw and macaroni) and cinnamon buns. Mabel retrieved the plates, cups and Mabel Juice (which everyone managed to survive a gulp).

"Oof," grunted Stan when Waddles hopped up into his lap. "I'm sorry, but did the rules change when I was gone? No pigs at the table."

"He missed you," cooed Mabel.

Stan stroked Waddles' head with a slight scoff. "I didn't miss him."

"Don't lie, Stanley," said Ford.

As they ate, the older set of twins shared their recent adventures, and their niece and nephew told them how school was going. None of them seemed to be able to stop smiling. Dipper and Mabel almost thought they were dreaming, but a few discreet pinches told them that this was really happening. There was nothing but adoration in their eyes when their great-uncles spoke.

When much of the food was packed away in their stomachs, Mabel gave a good heaping amount to Waddles before neatly closing the lids of the take-out containers.

"You probably need these more than we do," she said. "You can even have the turkey Mom bought us. We're not going to need it now."

"Hey, sounds good to me." Stan stretched his arms over his head lethargically. "A guy can get sick of seafood. Can't catch a turkey in the ocean."

"Thanks for bringing us food," said Dipper. "Definitely beats what we were going to have."

"It's our pleasure," returned Ford.

"I made pie!" declared Mabel. "And it's only slightly crispy."

"How about we save that for later? I need some time to digest." Stan patted his generous stomach. "I put any more food in here and it's going to burst."

Dipper wrinkled his nose. "Thanks for the mental image." He then laughed when the man attempted to jab at his sides.

"Well, doing crafts is a pretty good way to digest," said Mabel hopefully. "It's a scientific fact."

"I think I missed that study," mused Ford with a knowing smile.

Mabel shifted her eyes. "I saw it on the Internet. Somewhere."

"Is there glitter?" asked Stan suspiciously. "You and glitter make a deadly combination."

"There's a little bit of glitter."

"What are we making?"

"Wreaths made out of leaves and turkey hands." Mabel extended her small appendages and wiggled her fingers. "Seasonal classics."

Because Stan and Ford have never been able to deny Mabel much of anything, they agreed (and her brilliant smile was more than worth it). A few minutes later the group were in the backyard, gathering handfuls of leaves from the grass and sticking them into plastic bags.

Unable to resist causing some mischief, Stan snuck up behind his nephew. Dipper let out a startled yelp when he suddenly shoved a bunch of leaves down the back of his sweater, causing him to jump about wildly to try and shake them out.

"Grunkle Stan!"

"Wasn't me," said Stan with a cackle.

Eyes narrowing, Dipper declared, "It's on."

A leaf-throwing war quickly broke out, with Dipper and Stan exchanging blows. Watching the antics with amusement, Mabel let out a shriek as she was lifted up. Ford easily swung her into the nearest orange-and-red pile.

"Grunkle Ford!" she laughed.

"It wouldn't be fair to leave you out," said Ford with a grin.

Waddles assisted Dipper in his revenge by charging Stan and tackling him to the ground, allowing the boy to smash some leaves into his face.

"Gotcha," said Dipper breathlessly.

"Guys, guys," giggled Mabel, struggling to remove herself from the leaf pile. "You're gonna crumple them!"

"I think I swallowed one," rasped Stan.

Chuckling, Ford helped the girl up. "Serves you right. You started this."

"Like I could resist."

Mabel playfully pushed at Ford. "You didn't have to throw me into the leaves."

He hoisted her up into his arms. "My brother is a bad influence."

Streaked with dirt and pieces of nature stuck to their clothes, they filed back inside and gathered around the coffee table. For the next while, they made autumn wreaths and Mabel used coloured markers to draw a turkey on Ford's hand. She grinned in delight when he wiggled all six fingers, making the turkey move. Dipper laughed as Stan decorated his scruffy beard with leaves. As they conversed with one another, it seemed as if no time had passed at all. Dipper leaned his head against Stan's shoulder and Mabel sat in Ford's lap, the two listening to the upbeat chatter of their great-uncles. The warm, loving atmosphere caused them all to feel a bit lighter, and a million times happier. Though they all knew they would have to part once again, they were content to stay stuck in this particular moment of time.

It was the best Thanksgiving ever, and nothing would ever top it.


	16. SUBJECT: Detention

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Is the coast clear?_

Hey, bro-bro!

How's life in the slammer treating you? Are they giving you three meals a day? Have you been in the work yard yet?

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

Hunched over his desk, Dipper half-heartedly crafted out the apology letter he had been ordered to write. The classroom was silent, with his peers already on their way home for the day. The only sound was that of his pen scratching against the paper. At the front of the room was the balding middle-aged teacher who had been assigned detention duty, who was no happier to be there than Dipper was.

A vibration in his pocket caused him to pause. He snuck a glance towards Mr. Haskins, who was currently absorbed in a fishing magazine. Deciding it was safe, Dipper slipped his cellphone out of his jeans and tapped to view the new e-mail notification. Rolling his eyes at his sister's attempt at humour, he could not help but smile as he texted her a response.

' _It's detention, not prison, even though they feel like they might be the same thing. Why didn't you just text?'_

' _Wasn't sure if your sound was on or not. I didn't want to land you in more trouble by triggering the Ghost Zone theme music with a text.'  
-Mabel_

Wrinkling his nose, he typed back, _'Ghost Harassers, thank you very much. You clearly don't pay much attention to my e-mail username.'_

' _Aw, you know what I meant. Seriously, how's detention?'  
-Mabel_

' _It sucks.'_

' _I figured it would be super boring. Hey, at least it's only an hour. You'll be free soon.'  
-Mabel_

' _Yeah. But it's the first of December. Detention isn't how I expected to spend the beginning of the Christmas season.'_

' _If you want to get in the festive spirit, I can smuggle you some garland, glitter and gingerbread cookies.'  
-Mabel_

The mental image of Mabel flinging Christmas decorations all over the detention room (with Mr. Haskins coated in glitter) caused him to shudder.

' _I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think that will help my situation.'_

' _Glitter helps everything.'  
-Mabel_

' _It might make my permanent record look pretty, but that's about it. I've never gotten a detention before. Do you think this is going on my permanent record?'_

' _We're missing out on shopping for Christmas trees and you're worrying about the non-existent impact of one lousy detention?'  
-Mabel_

' _Excuse me for wanting to have an unblemished academic record. You can look for trees without me, you know.'_

' _Don't be a dork. It's tradition for us fight over which tree to bring home on a wagon.'  
-Mabel_

' _Somehow we always go with your more unique tree option over my perfect one.'_

' _I'm a great arguer. And persuader.'  
-Mabel_

Nearly snorting at that, he smirked as he replied with, _'If that's the case, why aren't you down here convincing Warden Haskins to let me out?'_

' _You're the one who blew up the science lab—with your own chemicals.'  
-Mabel_

' _Public school funding is terrible. They didn't have what I needed.'_ Dipper returned, a slight pout on his features as he was reminded of his grand disaster.

' _Dipper, we were supposed to be watching the colouring effects of harmless chemical reactions. Not doing our personal dork experiments.'  
-Mabel_

'… _I needed to borrow Professor Gunning's burner. You know Mom and Dad won't let me have one of my own. It would have gone fine if I hadn't made a slight miscalculation.'_

He could see the trio of dots that indicated his sister was responding. But he caught movement coming from Mr. Haskins out of the corner of his eye and his heart jolted. Fingers flying over the touch screen, he hastily added,

' _Teacherincominggottagobye.'_

...

Dragging a cardboard box loaded with various Christmas decorations, Mabel brought it into the living room. "Whew!" she breathed, wiping the sweat from her brow. "There! All ready to go for when Dipper is released."

Waddles sniffed the box curiously before turning to look at Mabel. _"Oink!"_

"Your first Christmas is going to be amazing, Waddles!" the girl said cheerfully, squeezing him lovingly. "We'll get you an ornament and you can help with the tree and the lights."

Her cellphone trilled and she quickly pulled it out of the pocket of her sweater so she could answer it. "Hey, Grunkle Stan!"

" _Hey, pumpkin. How are you?"_

"Great! I ready to go Christmas crazy. How about you?"

" _Well, I'm freezing my limbs off. We're studying the energy that emits from the Northern Lights. I'm leaving Ford behind if he makes us stay for another few more days. I'd rather be getting ready for Christmas, but we're gonna have to hold off on that for a few weeks. You got your tree yet?"_

"I'm waiting for Dipper to get home, then we're going out tree hunting."

" _Where's your brother?"_

"Detention."

" _You're gonna have to run that by me again."_

Grinning at the disbelief in her great-uncle's tone, she repeated, "He's in detention. Or was. I think he should be back soon—"

Before she could finish her sentence, she could hear the front door opening and Dipper stumbling inside. She hurried into the hallway and into the foyer, where he was straggling out of his fleece burgundy looked over his shoulder and mouthed, "Who are you talking to?"

"Speak of the devil, and he appears!" she said cheerfully.

She thrust out her phone and Dipper accepted it with a bemused expression. "Hello?"

" _All right, who did you deck and how much time did you have to serve?"_

"You know, I used to wonder where Mabel got her sense of humour from," drawled Dipper. "Then we spent the summer with you and everything made sense."

" _Don't avoid the question. I want all the gory details."_

"I didn't fight anyone. I snuck some of the chemicals from my advanced chemistry home laboratory kit into school. I needed to use our science teacher's burner for a personal experiment and I did it while we were in class. Unfortunately, I made a small miscalculation—"

"Translation; big mistake!" interjected Mabel with a snicker.

Dipper shot her a glare and she raced back to the living room with a giggle. "—and instead of getting multicoloured non-heat flames I got bright explosive mini-fireworks. The science lab was covered in scorch marks and I think there's a hole in the ceiling. In addition to helping clean the mess, I had to serve detention."

" _That's a pretty small punishment for causing property damage."_

"I think the incident startled everyone enough to not really process it properly. It was my first school offense, anyway." Dipper's brow furrowed. "Will I still have a shot at the Ivy League?"

" _You think Ford survived through elementary, middle and high school with only one scientific exploit gone wrong?"_ asked Stan with an amused snort. _"Trust me kiddo, the snobs are gonna be fighting to get their hands on you."_

Dipper brightened. "Thanks! Did you really think I got into a fist-fight?"

" _I was sorta hopin'. Is that wrong?"_

"If it were anyone else, yes. But it's you, and somehow that makes it okay." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Not exactly a cool way to go down, huh?"

" _Blowing up the science lab is pretty cool."_

"I didn't blow it up."

" _You know what I mean. Anyway, what you did was an accident. I was a moron when I was in school. Got into trouble for the heck of it. I thought I was being cool at the time, but it's was just stupidity on my part. Ruined the remaining shreds of chance I had at post-secondary education."_

"You didn't need it," said Dipper sincerely. "You already had a lot of street smarts, and sometimes I think that pays off more than an academic education. You know a lot more than I do."

" _Look, I know it's the Christmas season, but it's too early to go mushy on me."_

"We've always been mushy, regardless of the time of year," said Dipper with a laugh. "How's the studying of the Northern Lights?"

" _Pretty good. Ford's been tracking the odd frequencies. We'll be lucky if we have all our fingers and toes after this."_

"I can't wait to hear all about it."

" _We'll fill you in tonight. Go get a tree with your sister."_

"Will do. Think you'll be able to make it back to Piedmont for Christmas?"

" _Geez, we just saw you for Thanksgiving. It's only been a little over a week. We need a runt-free break."_

"Well, you don't have to see us to give us presents."

" _I had a feeling you were going to say that. Smart-aleck."_

"I learned from the best," said Dipper cheerfully. "Talk to you later."

" _Bye, kiddo."_

Hanging up, Dipper walked into the living room where his sister was sorting through the sparkly and festive decorations. He handed back her cell phone and said, "Ready to get our Christmas tree?"

"Definitely!" she cheered. She sprang to her feet and lifted Waddles into her arms. "I'll grab his leash."

"Before we hit the tree lots, we need to stop at a hardware store or something."

"Why?"

"I need to find something that cleans away scorch marks, and I should probably find something to patch the ceiling while I'm at it."

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: Advice_

Stanley told me of your attempted experiment. It's certainly possibly, and I admire your efforts. It's advanced for someone your age and you're making great progress. But if I may, I would suggest on waiting until we're together to perform further experiments on multicoloured flames.

People don't take kindly to public spaces being blown up. Trust me.

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: re: Advice_

For the last time, I didn't blow anything up!


	17. SUBJECT: Christmas List

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Christmas list_

Hey!

It's the greatest time of the year! Christmas is upon us, which means pretty lights, glittery decorations, gorgeous Christmas trees and holiday shopping mania. I would love to start shopping as soon as possible, so give me some ideas on what you people want for Christmas!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Grunkle Stan:_ The world would be a good place to start.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Who do you think she is? Santa Claus?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I like to think I'm one of his honourary elves.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Well then put in a good word and tell Santa I want the world for Christmas.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Give me a break. You really think you made the Nice List?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ He's never made the Nice List in his life. He actually got coal in his stocking one year.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ It was probably enough to heat an entire village for a year.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Shut up.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Mr. Pines is just misunderstood.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Don't butter him up, Soos. You know he's not getting you anything for Christmas.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You definitely aren't getting anything, missy.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Come now. Let's not be mean and snarky. Show some Christmas spirit.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Bah humbug is what I say to that. Oh, Starshine, I could use a new hoodie.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Yeah, a nice bright blue hoodie would look good on him. Maybe green, or even better, purple.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Will do!

 _Robbie Valentino:_ No! No will do! I don't do colour, I only do solid black! With maybe a splash of blood red.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're not really buying presents for these dorks, are you?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Sure! You're my friends. Besides, I love to give.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ That's real nice of you, Mabel! But you really don't have to.

 _Candy Chiu:_ That is a lot of holiday shopping. You will get trampled by the stressed masses!

 _Dipper Pines:_ She'll be fine. Trust me. Feel sorry for the ones who have to shop against _her_.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ If you really want to, I would like some more romance novels.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I would not mind some Christmas sweets.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Got it! Keep your Christmas wishes coming, people!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're an angel among us, Mabel. I guess if you can't manage to sway the entire world to accept me as their one and only leader, I'll take cash.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You're unbelievable, you know that?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I think Stanley could use a muzzle for Christmas, dear.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ A steel one.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ With a padlock.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Make that two padlocks!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ And you people say I'm naughty?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I'll take anything that sparkles and is in jewellery form.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ I'm always happy to have one of your sweaters, Mabel.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Some earmuffs would be cool. Dipper's hat just isn't cutting it this winter. My ears feel like they're going to fall off.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Hey, your ushanka isn't exactly fit for California weather.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I could use a new pair of mittens, hambone. I lost mine. Again.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I suppose your heart is out of the question, so I'll ask for haircare products.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'll be happy with whatever you give me, Mabel.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Ugh. Is that the kind of junk I gotta say to get on the Nice List?

 _Dipper Pines:_ And so the Christmas wishes have been spoken.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And so I shall grant them!

* * *

The mall was the scene of barely controlled chaos, with hordes of people in winter attire power walking across the tiled corridors, diving in and out of stores. Loaded bags hung heavily from shoulders and hands, screaming and hyperactive kids charged ahead of parents and the air was filled with overlapping chatter.

Clinging to Dipper's hand to keep from losing him in the vortex of Christmas shoppers, Mabel studied the list she had made up. "I guess we can start with Gideon's hair stuff."

"That's going to take up most of your budget," quipped Dipper.

They entered a hair salon, the humming of hairdryers and running water a soothing temporary replacement over the noise in the corridor. Mabel made a direct path for the high, towering shelf of coloured bottles stationed near the pay counter.

"What does he even use?" she wondered, selecting a dark green bottle of hairspray and squinting at the label.

"Probably everything on this shelf."

She elbowed him in the side, unable to hide her smile. "Very funny."

After a few minutes of browsing, she ended choosing two different hairsprays and a shampoo and conditioner set. They stopped by a clothing store to get Wendy earmuffs, a bookstore for Grenda's books and a hardware store for a Swiss Army knife for Ford. They made their way to a jewellery store, where Dipper studied the glittering gold and silver bracelets, rings and necklaces in the glass cases.

"Uh…how about we get Pacifica one of those gemstone rings from a gumball machine?" he suggested, wincing as he regarded some of the prices. "All she said was that she wanted something that sparkles."

When his sister didn't answer, he glanced over his shoulder. She was standing near a display of chains, brow furrowed as she stared down at her multiple bags. He moved to stand beside her and he asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

"Something doesn't feel right."

"Are you sick?"

"No, not like that. It's this." She hefted up her purchases to show what she meant, lips curling into an unhappy frown. "I know I asked everyone what they wanted, and I know this is what they told me. But it feels so…impersonal."

"Well…if you don't want to buy their presents, you can make them like you normally do," suggested Dipper. "You're making sweaters for Robbie and McGucket and mittens for Soos, right?"

"That was the plan. But even though those are handmade, it still doesn't feel like the right gift." Mabel let out a breath of frustration. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"You hardly ever do. But I get it." Dipper set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "We've been through literal heck with these people. This is our first Christmas with them. What gift could we give to show what they possibly mean to us?"

Mabel leaned against the glass behind her. "Exactly! This stuff just isn't going to cut it. But I'm not sure—"

She paused when she happened to notice what display she was lounging against. She stared down at the collection of charms with wide eyes, the gears of her mind beginning to turn. Dipper followed her speculative staring and clicked to what his twin was thinking.

"Charms…that's pretty personal, especially if the charm is meaningful and represents an important event in our lives."

"And there will be nothing more important than Weirdmageddeon," said Mabel feelingly. "You know…I bet we could custom make the charms." Her eyes lit up as she added, "We're all connected by the Cipher Wheel. Each symbol on that wheel represented one of us, and it was only when we were together we were strong."

"We can give them their Cipher Wheel symbol," said Dipper with a wide grin. "It's something only we will ever understand."

"Candy and Grenda—I can get them a best friend charm. Maybe a heart split into three pieces…yes! This is it! Come on, bro. We've got some stuff to return!"

…

It was a week later when a package marked _Fragile_ arrived on their doorstep. Dipper and Mabel sat on their bedroom floor and carefully went through each red velvet jewellery case, studying each charm to ensure it was perfect.

A silver bag of ice charm for Wendy, a gold stitched-up heart for Robbie, a silver pair of glasses for McGucket, a gold llama for Pacifica, a silver five-pointed star for Gideon, Stan's fez symbol charm in gold, a silver question mark for Soos and a gold six-fingered hand for Ford. For Candy and Grenda, there was a heart charm split into three pieces. Each piece had an engraved letter on it, so when put together the fully-formed heart read _BFFs._ Mabel kept one piece of the heart, along with a silver shooting star charm she bought for herself. Dipper's gold pine tree was already attached to a gold chain, which hung securely around his neck.

"We'll have zero allowance savings for probably the rest of our lives, but it was definitely worth it," declared Dipper. "These are great."

"I hope the gang likes them," said Mabel, gently wrapping each small red jewellery case in dancing reindeer-themed wrapping paper.

"I'm sure they will. There's a lot of sentiment in these little trinkets."

Laying a hand over her shooting star charm, which hung from her charm bracelet, Mabel let out a contented sigh, a warm fuzzy feeling welling within her. "I absolutely love Christmas. But I love our dorks even more."

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Christmas gifts sent_

Hi!

Dipper and I sent off your gifts, so hopefully you get them soon. Feel free to open them before Christmas. We sort of diverted from the ideas you gave us and went with a different gift idea entirely—we actually went with a themed present. I know it's not what you guys asked for, but I hope you like them anyway.

Merry Christmas.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Are you kidding? This is amazing! I love it. Way better than earmuffs. My ears can live.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Whoa, thanks hambones! This is the perfect accessory—it matches all of my shirts. Plus it has a bunch of important meaning behind it. Not gonna lie, I got emotional.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Thank you, Mabel! I will wear my piece always, so that you are always with me.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I'm giving you a big virtual hug! I'll never take it off!

 _Robbie Valentino:_ It's pretty sweet. Thanks, Starshine. You too, Dork-Tree. It looks rad attached to my hoop earring.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ It's definitely shiny, and maybe a bit tacky. Thanks. I have the perfect chain to attach it to.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Thank you! I'm so touched I don't know what to say. This is the nicest and sweetest gift I've ever received—not that I've gotten many gifts, mind you, but that's not the point.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ This…this is amazing. It's better than a jackrabbit flipping flapjacks.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't really know what that means, but you're welcome! You're all welcome. We're so glad you like them.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ So I didn't know what everyone was blabbing about, and then I got my package. Dang it, runts. I was never this emotional until you came to stay with me.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Cipher Wheel charms. I never expected it. But they're perfect. A reminder of what we've been through and what we survived.

 _Dipper Pines:_ That's why we decided to send you all these charms. Weirdmageddeon was absolutely terrifying. But we wouldn't have survived it without any of you.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We wanted to give you presents that were sentimental and had meaning to them. We've never had friends before Gravity Falls—not true friends, anyway. For our first Christmas with you, we wanted to show you how much you mean to the both of us.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ I'm not crying.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You totally are.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I love you dudes! Big group virtual hug!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ When I signed up for this saving the world deal I didn't know there was going to be this much mushiness.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I don't deserve friends like you after the stunts I pulled.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Hey, when you face a demonic triangle, everything gets put into perspective pretty fast. Don't worry about it. We forgive you.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ It's thanks to you I regained my sanity—most of it, at least. I'm honoured to share this connection with you.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You gave Gravity Falls a heck of a lot more than just friendship. Especially your old Grunkles.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You kids are our everything. We love you.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We love you too!

 _Dipper Pines:_ With all our hearts.


	18. SUBJECT: Christmas Trivia

**I do not own Gravity Falls, _Rudolph_ or the song _Jingle Bells_ and _Twelve Days of Christmas_.**

 **All facts and trivia from this chapter was taken from random places on the Internet. They may not be current and/or accurate, but I found them interesting nonetheless.**

 **I'm hoping to get out one more Christmas chapter before the twenty-fifth, but it's coming up faster than I would like. In case I don't, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.**

 **Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!**

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Breaking news_

Hello all.

As I sit watching the beloved classic Christmas special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Dipper told me some important, ground-breaking news. Apparently Rudolph's nose glows red as a result of a parasitic respiratory infection, according to Norwegian scientist.

This is what I have to deal with. Someone send help.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ I thought you liked my Christmas trivia!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yeah, sometimes. I've only heard this Rudolph theory about a dozen times. It stops being cool.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You need to get your head out of the books and get outside for a bit, kid.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I suspect there's more than just a parasitic infection at play. It might be a result of being exposed to radiation or perhaps harmful chemicals from the paints used to make the toys.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Now look what you've done.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Excuse me for sharing my interesting Christmas knowledge.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Aw, don't listen to them. Hit me with some more trivia.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Seriously? Sweet! Okay, give me a second. I've got my book around here somewhere.

* * *

Departing from the desktop computer, Dipper crossed the carpet and towards the bookshelf against the wall. He traced his fingers against the spines, in search for the familiar red and green binding. Mabel watched him with amusement, reclining against her bed, phone held in her hands.

"I unleashed a monster," she teased.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "If you get to douse this house with green and red glitter, I get to show my Christmas spirit by spreading knowledge."

"Fair point."

Locating his worn-out copy of _150 Holiday Facts, Trivia and Random Tidbits,_ Dipper pulled it off the shelf and started flipping through the pages. "Do you really dislike my facts?" he asked, casting a quick, uncertain glance at his sister.

Mabel swung her feet over the edge of the bed and sent an affectionate punch at his shoulder. "Of course not, bro-bro. Some of them are pretty weird and wonderful. But, you know, some new ones would be cool."

Dipper laughed at that. "Yeah, I tend to forgot what I've told you and what I haven't. There's one hundred and fifty of them, after all."

"Who knew Christmas could be so bizarre?" said Mabel.

Dipper went back to the computer chair and cracked his knuckles, preparing to type. "Dipper's School of Weird, Random and Bizarre Christmas Facts is now in sessions."

* * *

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Oh great. Here we go.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ How do you know this stuff?

 _Robbie Valentino:_ I don't think it's right to be learning over the holidays.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Scientists in Norway must have a lot of free time.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Perhaps Rudolph should go see a doctor.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Nah, Rudolph's a reindeer. He needs to see a vet.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I cannot believe you're having this conversation.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ The glowing nose is definitely a cause of radiation.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'm not going to ask why you seem so sure of that.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Germans made the first artificial Christmas tree out of dyed goose feathers.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Ew. That's so ugly.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Glad that's a trend that didn't last or make it here. Otherwise my family would probably be out of the Christmas tree business.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ That's a lot of poor geese that went into the making of that tree.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Pretty sure you just implied that you've tested the effects of radiation on animals.

 _Mabel Pines:_ No he didn't! You didn't, right?

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Of course not! In my younger days there was an experiment gone wrong that happened to include a degree of radiation. No part of me glowed.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …this is why I didn't want to ask.

 _Dipper Pines:_ There are three billion Christmas cards sent out in America in a year.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Christmas cards! Knew I was forgetting to do something.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Hmm. Maybe I should rethink my career path.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I already tried. Apparently 'have a good one' isn't Christmas-card worthy.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ A poet you are not.

 _Dipper Pines:_ All the gifts in Twelve Days of Christmas amount to three-hundred and sixty-four gifts.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Now that's one I can get behind. Except, you know, without all the birds and people and much more jewellery and clothes.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Next year we're doing a twelve days of Christmas. As in you all work together to give me three-hundred and sixty-four presents.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Sure. I'll give you one apple.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I will give you two pieces of sugar-free candy.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Three sacks of dirt.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Four raccoons.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Stop.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Five sets of dentures.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Six pigeons.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Seven visits from the IRS.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I hate you all.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Eight ladders.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Nine tuxedos.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Ten lumps of coal.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Eleven bags of cash!

 _Mabel Pines:_ TWELVE BARRELS OF SPRINKLES!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Good job, gang.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're all a bunch of smart-alecks.

* * *

Mabel and Dipper dissolved into laughter at their impromptu rendition of the classic Christmas carol. "His face!" giggled Mabel, her thumbs starting to fly across the touch screen. "I need Grunkle Ford to tell me what his face looked like when he realized what we were doing."

"You think he's going to blame me for that?" asked Dipper, searching for more trivia.

"Probably," said Mabel with a smile. "He tends to blame you for everything anyway."

"Why is it never you?"

"I thought it was clear that I was the favourite."

Ignoring that, Dipper found another fact he found interesting and said, "How about this one? The world's biggest snowman was one hundred and thirteen feet tall."

Mabel's eyes gleamed. "Hey, I bet we could beat that."

"Yeah," drawled Dipper. "One problem. We're in California, in which we sometimes barely get enough snow for a snowball."

"Dang. Right. Well, maybe a mudman, then."

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Built in Maine, the world's biggest snowman was one hundred and thirteen feet tall.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And because we don't get any snow we'll have to try and beat the record by making one out of mud.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ That's a lot of effort for a record that's not very glamorous.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Candy, let's see how tall we can go!

 _Candy Chiu:_ We will need a crane.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ I think I may be able to find a way to supply you with one.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Yay! Mabel, you can help us accessorize.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Ooh, I'm definitely in!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Christmas trees have to grow for fifteen years before they are sold.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Another Christmas business venture I never got into. I can't wait fifteen years to make money.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Is that what your family does, Wendy?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Kinda. We have a section of the forest that's legally our property, so if there are decent sized trees we'll chop them down and then plant seeds so new trees can grow. Mostly we help Christmas tree farms chop down theirs and take a portion home to sell. We have to split the profits, but we still get a decent cut.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Mistletoe comes from the Anglo-Saxon word 'mistletan', which means 'little dung twig'. The seed for the plant is actually spread through bird droppings.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ That's…really gross.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Way to ruin a romantic tradition.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ It's a fascinating natural occurrence. The process starts—

 _Grunkle Stan:_ No. Nope. I'm gonna stop you right there. We don't care.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I care.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Perhaps he can tell more about it later…when we're all not here and can continue to pretend that the tradition of mistletoe is still pleasant and magical.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …we can talk more about this particular topic later, Dipper.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Cool! Anyway, in Germany, Christmas Eve is said to be a magical time when the pure in heart can hear animals talking.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Better get yourself a plane ticket, Mabel.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Don't forget to do a lot of good deeds beforehand.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ But not for the sake of doing good deeds.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Don't be upset if the animals look into your soul and decide you're not pure of heart enough.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Okay, ha ha, thank you. Now we never speak of that memory again.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ You ever get the feeling you're missing something?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ All the time, dude.

* * *

Looking away from his computer, Dipper turned to smirk at the pouting Mabel. "Do you want to tell the story or should I?"

"Don't!" Mabel pointed at him threateningly. "You did that fact on purpose!"

"I didn't know they would bring up the unicorn incident. I was hoping, but I wasn't sure. _Oof!_ "

A pillow struck him across the head, causing him to tumble from his computer chair. Mabel wielded her fluffy weapon menacingly as she advanced. "Don't say the 'u' word! Payback shall be mine."

Dipper's eyes narrowed. "You wish."

He grabbed another pillow and the two clashed, feathered-filled objects flying every which-way as they tried to strike the other. After a minute Mabel managed to pin her brother down to the carpeted-floor, hitting him with her pillow repeatedly.

"You shall apologize!"

"Okay!" laughed Dipper, trying to shield himself. "Okay! I'm sorry! I won't bring up, mention, reference or tease you about the you-know-what incident. For at least two months."

Sticking her tongue at him, Mabel stood up and went to retrieve her cell phone, which had fallen on the floor. "You're lucky I love you."

"Forever grateful," quipped Dipper with a smile.

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Over four hundred and fifty billion dollars is spent on Christmas.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Ow. My heart.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Probably all on Pacifica.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ How I wish.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Stanley will probably contribute about twenty dollars to that running total this year.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ It's the thought that counts, right?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Jingle Bells was written for Thanksgiving, not Christmas.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Isn't that Mabel's favourite Christmas song?

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Apparently it's a Thanksgiving song.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I don't suppose that would ruin the song for you, sweetie?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Are you kidding? Of course not! Now I can sing Jingle Bells for Thanksgiving _and_ Christmas!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Gather your pitchforks, people. We're coming for you, Dipper.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oops. Uh, there's a village in Peru where people settle the previous year's grudges by fist-fighting. They then start the new year off on a clean slate.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ …get your butt on a plane, Gideon. We're going to Peru. Details, Dipper. I need coordinates and the name of the village.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I'll let my grudgers simmer and fester for another year, thanks.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Robbie, we're going to Peru.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Whoa, why?! What'd I do?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I don't know, maybe trying to brainwash me through music?

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Oh. Right.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Ha!

 _Robbie Valentino:_ I don't what you're laughing at Dork-Tree. You and I still have some things to work out. To Peru we go.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's not good to hold grudges, people.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ So you wouldn't want to settle some past differences with Pacifica?

 _Candy Chiu:_ Or a certain unicorn?

 _Mabel Pines:_ No. I've forgiven and forgotten.

 _Dipper Pines:_ She was totally thinking about it.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I was not!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Sure. Anyway, it's getting late and if our parents come home to find us still up, they're not going to be happy. Last Christmas fact is; six thousand people will end up in the hospital on Christmas Day.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ And it'll probably be all of you losers.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You'll probably break a nail and demand to be taken to Emergency. Don't deny.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I'm gonna try not to set the kitchen on fire this year.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Great. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow to a news report of the Mystery Shack burning to the ground.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I hope we don't fit into those statistics. There's not a plentiful amount of hospitals on the water.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I may or may not accidentally glue my hands together trying to put sequins on a pair of mittens.

 _Dipper Pines:_ If that happens twice there's a problem.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ My raccoon wife got her shot, so I should be rabies-free this Christmas!

 _Candy Chiu:_ I will remember not to eat so much candy.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I'm gonna stay away from the sushi. No food poisoning for me!

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I won't set my Christmas tree on fire in a temperamental rage. At least I don't think so.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ There's something wrong with all of you.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Coming from the guy who spent Christmas two years ago in the hospital because he accepted a dare to lick a pole and got his tongue frozen to it.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ It was your dare!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Thank you, Dipper, for encouraging this cluster of chaos and lunacy from a bunch of losers.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Anytime.


	19. SUBJECT: New Year's Resolutions

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: New Year Resolutions_

Hey!

The New Year is almost upon us, and Dipper and I have planned a bash loaded with sugar and action movies. I've already got my resolutions figured out, so I totally have to know what your New Year's resolutions are going to be.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

As Dipper carted several plastic bowls into the living room his phone beeped, indicating he had received an email. He set the dishes on the coffee table before checking the message. His eyebrows raised and he called, "Mabel, one of your New Year resolutions is to give up sugar!"

"I know!" she answered from the kitchen, over the noise of cupboard doors opening and shutting.

"Yet you just said to Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford that tonight was going to be a complete sugar fest!"

Mabel appeared, carting with her bags of potato chips, packets of gummy candies and a pitcher of Mabel Juice. "A sugar fest which is happening _before_ the new year," she pointed out, starting to pour the snack food into the bowls readily laid out. "Once it hits midnight I'm stopping."

"I want to point out that you've never successfully completed a New Year's resolution."

Straightening at that, Mabel narrowed her eyes at her brother. "I have too! I'm great at keeping my resolutions!"

Dipper immediately raised his hand and started to tick the examples off of his fingers. "Last year you were going to finish making that house cozy. Year before that you vowed to take synchronized swimming lessons. Year before _that_ you claimed you were going to start and finish your own web series. None of these things were accomplished."

"You've got a real nasty memory," said Mabel with the pout.

"Nasty for you, maybe," said Dipper in amusement.

"I thought synchronized swimming would be a lot more free and creative, but they wouldn't let me do my own routine."

"You wanted to include dolphins in your routine. Any sane person would have told you no."

"And that house cozy was just getting too big," she continued. "I was running out of wool and I had other crafts I needed to work on."

"On the bright side Dad has a car warmer."

"And the web series would have worked great if my lead actor would have cooperated with me."

"Ashes doesn't do anything but sleep."

Setting her hands on her hips, Mabel declared, "You're not one to talk. What about that model of the sphinx you were going to make out of building blocks?"

"You knocked it down!"

"It was an accident! It wasn't all of it, anyway. You could have started it over. And what about the research report you were going to submit to _American Science Digest_?"

Dipper shifted his eyes back and forth. "Uh…I ran into some obstacles…"

"Or what about the time—?"

"Okay, okay." Dipper raised his hands in a surrendering manner. "I'm a hypocrite, no surprises there. Look, it doesn't matter anyway. New Year's resolutions are hardly ever kept, anyway."

"I don't mean to break them," insisted Mabel. "I try but then it all goes kabloom. But it's going to be different this year."

"Mabel." Raising his eyes heavenward for a brief moment, Dipper retrieved the pitcher off of the table and shook it, causing drops of glitter-infused pink juice to splash over the edge. "Of all resolutions, you choose to cut out sugar. I'm telling you right now that you're not going to be able to keep it. You are ninety-five percent sugar."

"It's so hard having a brother who doesn't believe in me," lamented Mabel.

Before Dipper could respond, a dual-ping sounded, alerting them to their great-uncles' response. Mabel was typing out a response before Dipper had even wrangled his phone out of his pocket.

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Hey! The New Year is almost upon us, and Dipper and I have planned a bash loaded with sugar and action movies. I've already got my resolutions figured out, so I totally have to know what your New Year's Resolutions are going to be.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Yeah. Eat, sleep and be merry.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Which has been the closest thing he's ever come to a New Year's resolution.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't think anyone is taking me seriously here.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ What makes you say that?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dipper's picking on me.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I was making observations that you didn't particularly care for.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ What did he do this time, sweetie?

 _Mabel Pines:_ He doesn't think I can keep a resolution because I haven't succeeded in previous years.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're not supposed to keep New Year's resolutions.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Thank you.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Come now, you two. Attempting to accomplish a resolution is an admirable feat, even if you didn't manage to finish it. What's your goal for next year, Mabel?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'm going to give up sugar!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ …

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …

 _Dipper Pines:_ I really don't think any more needs to be said.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I can totally do it!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Dear, I think you're underestimating the amount of food you consume that has sugar in it.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Well…maybe not all sugar, then.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Backpedaling already.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Ssh.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Hey, there's nothing wrong with creating parameters! I'll give up all candy, all soda, all sugary drinks, anything that has a high percentage of sugar.

 _Dipper Pines:_ You realize that means no more Mabel Juice.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Not that I don't have faith in you, but it seems like a tall order, pumpkin.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't see any of you making any resolutions. Not that you'd stick with them anyway.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Whoa there missy.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Annnd here we go.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I admit its been many years since I attempted to keep a New Year's resolution, but I think I have enough control to stay with it for more than an hour.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Is that a jab at the time I gave up potato chips?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Yes.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Which obviously lasted a pitiful hour.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Hey, I was young and reckless. Now I'm old and reckless and competitive. I'm gonna trounce all you dorks.

 _Dipper Pines:_ There's the gauntlet.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ All right then. What's your resolution?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ To not eat vegetables.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Boo!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Leave it to a conman to manipulate his advantage in a challenge he knows he can't win.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I can keep any resolution.

 _Mabel Pines:_ How about you promise not to trick people out of money?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Very good, dear. That shouldn't be a problem, right Stanley?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ No problem at all. Just as it shouldn't be a problem for you to give up all-night research sessions.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …touché. You're on.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Am I the only normal one here?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Don't fool yourself, kiddo.

 _Mabel Pines:_ How about you, Dipper?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'm not taking part in this.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You could give up going on those dumb conspiracy theory blogs.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Isn't the point to select your own resolutions?

 _Mabel Pines:_ What's wrong? Afraid you're going to lose?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Right. Consider the gauntlet accepted.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're all going down.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ We shall see.

* * *

Morning rays spilled through the kitchen window, creating yellow ripples across the tiled floor. Grabbing a banana for breakfast, Mabel ate it on her way out the door, leash gripped in hand as Waddles scampered ahead of her. She graciously stopped to allow excited children to pet her pig and they eventually reached town.

Mabel stopped by the post office on an errand for her mother and then went to the park. As Waddles sniffed along the grass, she paused by a white snack stand and bought a rainbow slushie. She cheerfully took the first sip, the sweet fruity flavour splashing against her taste buds.

Her eyes widened.

"Oh. No."

Shifting her eyes between the nearest trash can and her slushie, Mabel took another long slurp as she accepted her fate.

"Should have chosen something other than sugar…Dipper is going to be impossible to live with after this one."

…

Feet propped up against the arm of the couch, Dipper listened idly to the documentary playing on the television. He browsed the Internet on his phone, automatically clicking on the notification that alerted him that his favourite blog had just made an update.

"Aliens and Bigfoot; How They're Related," he read aloud. "Ooh."

He was halfway through the essay when he realized exactly what he was doing. Mabel arrived back home then, shuffling into the living room with Waddles. He stared at the slushie in her hand and she knew by the instinctual way he angled the phone away from her what he was reading.

After a beat of guilty silence, they both burst into laughter.

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Well so much for that_

Hey,

All right, so making a resolution to give up sugar was probably way too much, especially for me. I sort of forgot but then when I remembered I couldn't throw my slushie away, because that's like a crime. Then I thought about how I would have to avoid slushies for a whole year...so I kinda gave in.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Yeah…I swindled a diner out of a free meal after complaining of a hair in my soup—the hair in question belonging to me. This may or may not have happened three hours into the new year.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I don't have a very good concept of time. When I looked at the clock it was ten, and when I looked again it was five in the morning.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, completely forgot about my resolution. Considering it's only January the third, I think we're all pretty terrible when it comes to making resolutions.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It was a lot harder than I thought. I think I'll focus on my new resolution, which is to be a good person and try to make the world a little bit of a better place.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ How about we just elect Mabel president of the world?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ If only it were that easy.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Happy New Year, guys.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Happy New Year, runts.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Happy New Year, kids.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And regardless of our resolutions, let's do our best to make it a good one!


	20. SUBJECT: Rope Climbing

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: The Rope_

Hey,

When you had your fear of heights, how did you tackle certain situations? Like climbing the rope in gym class, for example. I have to do it next week and I'm sort of freaking out. I could really use some advice from someone who knows what I'm going through. Dipper fears many things, but heights isn't one of them.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

Watching the e-mail disappear into cyberspace, Mabel then let out a sigh and slipped her phone into her pink sparkly duffle bag. She hung the straps on the hook of her red metal locker and shut the door. She had to brace her shoulder against the surface and push into it in order to align the holes to slip her combination lock. She secured her possessions and took a glance around the locker room, realizing she was the last one left.

"Great," she muttered. "Here we go."

She shoved open the swinging door and ventured down the small section of corridor that led from the gym to the girl's change room. The second she stepped foot out of the room she heard the laughter and chatter of her peers, echoing in the vast, high-ceiling space. Sneakers squeaked against the hardwood floor and the red velvet curtains of the stage at the front of the gym were pulled back, allowing students to sit on the edge and chat. There were clusters of students on the wooden bleachers and she spotted her brother sitting on the far right, balancing a book against his bare knees.

"I don't suppose that's a how-to manual on how to climb a rope."

Dipper glanced up when she plopped down beside him, her normally ever-happy demeanor dimmed by apprehension. "Um…no. It's our history textbook."

Mabel's expression morphed from apprehension to panic for a brief instant. "Wait, we don't have a test, do we?"

"No. I'm just reading ahead."

"Of course you are. Dork."

Smiling, Dipper snapped his yellow-covered textbook closed and took a closer look at his twin. "At risk of stating the obvious, you're worried about the ropes."

"Yeah." Mabel watched as their gym teacher set up the ropes, the pulley system creaking as they crept slowly across the ceiling to arrange themselves in a neat row of four. Her stomach lurched with nervousness. "After everything we've been through, I'm scared to go up against a dumb rope."

"Hey, everyone has their fears. I'm not exactly looking forward to this either."

Mabel gave a small smirk. "Because you're scared of completely humiliating yourself, not because you're scared of heights."

"Thank you, for saying what was clearly so obvious," drawled Dipper.

"But at least you'll be able to do it," she continued, propping her chin against her hands. "You've gotten a lot stronger over the summer. I can tell by your improved dodge ball skills."

Dipper laughed. "Thanks. It's all because of Grunkle Stan that I'm tougher than I used to be. And I guess battling a demonic triangle helps too. But you can climb the rope. You just have to believe in yourself. I believe in you."

"It's normally me who's the cheesy one," teased Mabel, lightly punching him in the arm.

"I'm serious. Just don't look down."

Mabel gave a nod, though her uncertainty remained. At the sharp whistle blast that cut through the gym, she grimaced and reluctantly stood. The students obediently started to create four separate lines, directly in front of the ropes waiting for them. As their teacher began to speak, Mabel twisted the hem of her grey T-shirt between her hands, dread slowly building for when her turn inevitably came.

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ When you had your fear of heights, how did you tackle certain situations? Like climbing the rope in gym class, for example. I have to do it next week and I'm sort of freaking out. I could really use some advice from someone who knows what I'm going through. Dipper fears many things, but heights isn't one of them.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Geez, I haven't thought about middle school gym class in ages. Brings back locker room memories. I was the best towel-snapper in Jersey.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Did not need to know that. But seriously, how did you handle the rope?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Simple. You forge a doctor's note, pass it off to your twin to deliver, intercept the phone call to confirm said note, and you're out of gym class.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Grunkle Ford was an accomplice to deception?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Not necessarily voluntarily, but I can be persuasive.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Well, intercepting the phone call wouldn't be a problem, since Mom and Dad are never home anyways. But I'd rather not lie.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ And Dipper probably wouldn't go for it.

 _Mabel Pines:_ He would, if I kept asking him. I don't think I should run from my fear. If I do, I'll never overcome it, right?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Considering I spent a good sixty years fearing heights, then I guess you might have a point. After all, I only got over my fear after you tricked me onto that water tower.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I was only trying to help. But it backfired.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'm glad you did. Otherwise I'd spend the rest of my life unable to use a ladder. Never realized how handy those things are until I finally used one. You can do it, pumpkin. You've faced a heck of a lot more than a stupid rope.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It seems silly when I think of everything I've done over the summer. After all the fighting of the supernatural, I get queasy over the prospect of having to climb a rope.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ It's not silly. People fear some ridiculous things, but it's not ridiculous to them.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I know, it's just that if I look at it in perspective then it seems like I shouldn't have a reason to worry about little things. But I can't help it. We had a practice run today and I could barely pull myself a quarter of the way up. We need to make it up at least halfway to pass. I don't know what to do.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ If you don't want to do it, then don't do it, and don't let anyone shame you for it. If they do, let me know and I'll clobber them. Your only obligation is to do what makes you feel comfortable. But if you want to go for it, I have full confidence that you'll blow them all away.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, Grunkle Stan. I'll do my best.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ That's all you can ever do. And you do it very well.

 _Mabel Pines:_ But just in case, I might bring my grappling hook as a backup. What do you think?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Not exactly inconspicuous, sweetie.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Fair point. They might consider it cheating, anyway. Dipper would have a coronary if I got suspended.

* * *

"Good job, Jillian! Your turn, Mabel."

The blonde ponytailed girl dropped the remaining few centimeters to the ground with a triumphant smile. She jogged towards the group of students gathered on the bleachers, who were waiting for their peers to finish.

The gym teacher sent an expectant glance at Mabel. The girl felt her heartrate increase and she tried to ease it by taking a deep breath. She shot a quick look at her brother, who had yet to take his turn, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

Gripping the frayed rope between her hands, she hoisted herself up. Swaying in place for a second, she began her ascent, moving one hand over the other and easing her sneaker-clad feet up bit by bit. She kept her eyes up, stomach twisting as the ceiling got closer.

 _You can do this, Mabel. You've fought gnomes, wax figures, unicorns, ghosts, a time traveller, dinosaurs, fake telepaths and spoiled blondes. This is just a dumb rope._

A whistle blast from below caused her to startle and glance down instinctively. She barely registered her gym teacher instructing the next student to begin climbing the rope next to hers, her stomach lurching viciously as she noticed the distance between her and the ground. Vision going blurry for a second, she took long breath before turning her head to stare upwards.

 _It's just a rope. I'm not even that high up. I used my grappling hook for much more. Just keep climbing, Mabel. You were imprisoned in a personal paradise dream world and saved Gravity Falls from stupid Bill. This gym class assignment is nothing._

 _Thunk!_

Blinking, Mabel lowered her hand, realizing she had bumped it against the metal bar in which the rope was attached. "I reached the top," she whispered in awe. "I did it."

" _Yeah! All right Mabel!"_

The girl looked down to see her brother, who beamed up at her and flashed a thumbs-up. Muscles relaxing, Mabel returned the positive hand gesture and began her descent. She dropped down to the thick blue bat and her gym teacher made a note on her clipboard.

"Good work, Mabel."

Entire being practically vibrating with elation, Mabel charged across the floor and tackled Dipper in a hug, laughing all the way.

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Queen of gym class_

Hey,

I did it! I made it all the way to the top of the rope! I looked down once and I felt a little sick, but I kept going. Dipper made it all the way up too, but he wasn't as graceful at it as I was. Thanks for your advice, it really helped. I don't think I'm going to be scared of heights anymore.

Water towers, on the other hand, might be another story.

Much love,

Mabel.

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: re: Queen of gym class_

That's my girl! I knew you could do it—you and Dipper. You both grew a lot over the summer (clearly not literally, you're a couple of shrimps). You're stronger than you think. I'm so proud of you.

Oh, and I'm all for conquering your fears, but maybe we can leave the water tower thing alone. If you end up in the news or something Ford is probably going to blame me for being a bad influence and he'll never shut up about it.


	21. SUBJECT: Snowman Swap

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _Subject: Greatest snowman to ever exist_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

This wicked snowstorm means no school, and no school means complete freedom. My brothers and I worked together to build this snowman, which is totally the best snowman ever created and you can't tell me otherwise.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Oh my gosh! It's amazing! How much tape did you need to use to get it to hold up the axe?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ About two rolls. But it's okay. They look like bandages covering a really nasty wound.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Whose ushanka did you steal to give it a hat?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ My brothers had to draw straws. Glen lost.

 _Stanley Pines:_ You don't know how much I wish I was in Gravity Falls right now. Soos, take a baseball bat to it!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ No way, Mr. Pines. Snowmen have a right to exist too.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Don't be jealous just because you know you could never craft a good a snowman as mine.

 _Stanford Pines:_ I suppose you know what you're about to start with a comment like that.

 _Stanley Pines:_ It's on, Missy. I'll make a snowman that'll kick yours to the curb and steal its wallet.

 _Stanford Pines:_ I'll admit you've always been creative, but your crafting skills have never been up to par.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Mr. Pines made all the exhibits at the gift shop. He's the best crafter there is.

 _Stanley Pines:_ You tell him, Soos. Poindexter may be able to invent weird gadgets, but he knows nothing about artsmanship.

 _Stanford Pines:_ First of all, that's not a word. Second of all, you don't need to be a genius (which I am) to beat you in a snowman building contest.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Ah yeah! Here comes the smack-down! My entry is already done. Feel free tearing each other apart for my entertainment. I've clearly won.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Your lumberjack snowman is pretty rad, but I've been building snowmen for years. Abuelita said I was the best at it. Dunno if you can beat that.

 _Stanley Pines:_ All right Ford, looks like we're making a detour to a wintry place. I've got some hopeful souls to crush. Especially yours.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Woo-hoo! Let the games begin!

* * *

School bag slung over one shoulder, Dipper entered the kitchen to retrieve a can of soda from the fridge. He popped the tab with one hand while he used the other to dig his phone out of his pocket. He read through Wendy's email to see the comments made after his, eyebrow raising.

"Mabel, encouraging them makes it worse!"

His sister appeared in the entryway, Waddles skittering behind her on the hardwood floor. "They would have turned it into a competition anyway. I'm just showing my support."

Dipper sat down at the kitchen table and dropped his bag to rest by his sock-clad feet. He studied the picture Wendy had attached to her e-mail again, grinning at the ice and snow creation that loomed a head taller than the redheaded female. There was a dark brown ushanka pulled over the top, smallest snowball, a pair of acorns for eyes, a broken handle of a pick for a nose and the metal handle (from what Dipper assumed to be the same pick) for the mouth. There was a red plaid wool jacket shrugged over the middle snowball and through the arms of the jacket were two thick pieces of chopped wood. At the ends of the wood were frayed white work gloves. Attached to the right glove was an axe, held in place by black tape.

"Isn't it cool?" sighed Mabel wistfully, peering over her brother's shoulder. "I like California, but the problem is that we don't get snow days. While we were doing math Wendy was making a snowman."

"How cruel life can be," quipped Dipper.

Mabel poked the back of his neck. "Come on. As much as you love school you'd love a snow day."

"I would," Dipper failed to deny. "But that's not going to happen. We'll just have admire the snowmen from afar and be with them in spirit."

Propping her chin against the top of Dipper's head, Mabel wondered, "What do you think Grunkle Ford will build?"

"Probably something to do with his research. If he doesn't do a life-size sculpture of the abominable snowman I am going to be rather disappointed."

"Grunkle Stan?"

The two fell into a thoughtful silence for a moment. After a while, Dipper replied, "I honestly couldn't begin to imagine. But I doubt it'll be appropriate."

* * *

 _To:_ _Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)_

 _From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _Subject: Behold the beauty_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Yo, dudes.

No offense, Wendy, your snowman was super cool, but mine's super cooler. It sparkles and it has some oomph to it. I just wanna thank my inspiration for motivating my creativity. Couldn't have done it without you.

Soos out!

* * *

Lying on her back in the soft grass, Mabel splayed out, absorbing the sun's rays. Waddle laid across her stomach, nibbling at the hem of her light blue fleece sweater. Dipper was beside her, reclining against a looming oak tree, nose buried in a book. They were both distracted from their peaceful relaxing as their phones beeped in unison, alerting them to a notification.

Mabel grunted as she sat up, careful not to dislodge Waddles completely. She moved her sunglasses to rest on top of her head so she could get a better look at the screen. Her eyes lit up when she realized Soos had completed his entry in the impromptu snowman contest and eagerly clicked the attachment.

Positioned in front of the icicle-covered Mystery Shack was a life-size sculpture of Melody. The hair was made of strands of hay, packed closely together so that it seemed like it had density to it. A pair of sapphire-coloured plastic gems were used for eyes. A purple jacket hung on its arms and torso and somehow Soos had managed to attach a pair of jeans.

"Wow," said Dipper, eyes wide. "Abuelita was right. Soos is pretty dang good at building snowmen."

"You can't call this a snowman," protested Mabel. "It's a snow sculpture! It's gorgeous!"

"This is definitely going to be hard to beat," said Dipper with a grin.

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Well dang.

 _Stanford Pines:_ That has more than just oomph, Soos. Melody must be very proud of this.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Thanks, Mr. Pines! She loved it. But she wishes I would've asked before borrowing her clothes.

 _Mabel Pines:_ How did you get the jeans on?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I built the legs first and then had to cut the jeans to fit them on properly. Figured it out after three tries.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Uh…does Melody know you ruined her jeans?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Do you think she'll notice?

 _Stanley Pines:_ Eh. It's not bad.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Are you crazy? It's fantastic!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Like you can do any better, Mr. Pines.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Don't take your bitterness out on me because you so clearly lost. Of course I can do better. Who do you think taught Soos everything he knows?

 _Stanford Pines:_ Which probably wasn't very much to begin with.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Sure, make fun. I'll be the one laughing when I cream the lot of you.

 _Dipper Pines:_ He's got a plan. Those never turn out well.

 _Mabel Pines:_ But they're always entertaining!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Good luck Mr. Pines! And Mr. Pines!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yeah. This is going to end in disaster—and hilarity.

* * *

The voice of her teacher droning in her ears, Mabel's pen scrawled against her paper as she took notes. The shooting star charm of her bracelet clattered softly against the surface of her desk as she moved her wrist back and forth. Heaving a quiet sigh, she shifted her gaze to the clock hanging above the door. There was still an hour before school let out and her brain had already decided to quit for the day.

Mabel paused halfway through her writing of science notes when she felt her cellphone vibrate in her pocket. She peeked over at the teacher, who was facing the chalkboard as he lectured. She positioned her textbook so that it was blocking most of her desk from his sight. She slipped out her cell and held it behind her makeshift barricade, tapping on the e-mail icon.

She grinned widely when she discovered the sender of the e-mail and looked over at her brother, who sat diagonally from her. Dipper gave her a side glance of disapproval, which evaporated when she mouthed 'Grunkle Stan'. His curiosity too great, he did the rare act of taking out his cell in class, tucking his textbook into his lap and keeping the device cloaked behind it.

Stan had sent the e-mail a couple of class periods ago, meaning that they must have missed the initial notification and succeeding ones as their friends commented. The latest remark on Stan's snowman entry finally caught their attention and Mabel could not stop the burst of surprised laughter from escaping.

Turning around, her teacher said sharply, "Do you have something funny to share with the rest of the class, Miss Pines?"

Mabel shook her head, cheeks red not from embarrassment but suppressed mirth. "No sir," she managed to choke out. "Sorry. Just thinking to myself."

Eyes narrowing slightly, he returned to the lesson as their peers gave her odd, sneering looks before going back to their own work, whether it be meticulous notetaking or lazy doodling. Dipper's shoulders were shaking from laughter, his head ducked down as he pretended to focus on the text in their science book. Mabel bit down on her bottom lip and glanced at her phone, staring at the snowman Stan had constructed.

It was a replica of himself made out of snow, wearing his wool beanie, what looked to be grey cloth from a mop making up his hair. Apart from that, the only other article of clothing this Stan snowman was wearing was a speedo. The snowman itself was positioned in the pose of the Thinker. Stan left few details out of his wintry work of art.

Mabel rested her head on the surface of her desk, silent tears of laughter trailing down her cheeks.

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)_

 _From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Now THIS is beauty_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Soos making a snow sculpture of Melody is sweet and all, sure. And let's not even get to Wendy's mundane attempt. I present to you the greatest snowman (and snow sculpture) ever created. Bask in his glory.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Oh. My. Gosh.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Wow. It's a great likeness!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ No. Do not support him with this one. He's a lunatic.

 _Stanford Pines:_ I promise you I had no idea what he was up to. If I had the slightest inkling, I would have knocked him out.

 _Stanley Pines:_ What's wrong with him?

 _Stanford Pines:_ IT, Stanley. A snowman is an 'it'.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Then why do they call them snowmen?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ We're not getting off-topic this time. Why, for the love of everything, did you build a snowman of yourself without a shirt, pants, and too-small underwear?

 _Stanley Pines:_ It's artistic! Like those life painting classes or whatever. Besides, there's no greater beauty than myself.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ It's really detailed.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Way too detailed. And I've seen this guy in his boxers multiple times. I've seen Soos in his underwear for crying out loud. But this is way more traumatizing.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Keep on talking. I've spent my life dealing with jealousy. It just rolls of my shoulders now.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You are so full of it.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Right. I'm off to destroy it.

 _Stanley Pines:_ DON'T YOU DARE.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I can't believe we're related.

 _Mabel Pines:_ No offense, Grunkle Stan, but the only bathing suit I ever wanted to see you in was your old man one-piece.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I didn't know he owned a speedo.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Now we all know, unfortunately.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I thought I was traumatized before. I was wrong. My consolation is that at least it's just a snow-version of him.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ It's a good ice model, though.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ If you can look past all of…that, then I guess that it's okay. Explains where Mabel gets her artistic skills, in any case. But seriously, when did this snowman contest become an intricately-carved snow/ice sculpture contest?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Well, Soos took it up to the next level, and I think Grunkle Stan would have done this regardless. Wished you hadn't started this whole thing now?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Nah. I still think my snowman is the best. It's a twist on a classic.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I think mine is the best. But that's just me, dude.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yours is really good. But Grunkle Stan added moles to his snowman.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ What? Like the mole he has on—?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ OH MY GOSH HE DID HE MANAGED TO INCLUDE THE MOLE!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Mabel stop laughing! You're going to get us in trouble!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Too late.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Delete all evidence! Teacher incoming!

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _From: Stanford Pines (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: The original snowman_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Wendy's snowman was certainly a childhood classic, and Soos' was a touching tribute to his girlfriend, I have crafted the original snowman. It is a replica of the creature that roams mountains, causing mysterious disappearances of hikers and skiers. Its existence dates long before the discovery of the recreational activity of building figures out of snow.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Stanley Pines:_ You didn't mention my snowman.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Obviously.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Hmph. At least I know how to have fun without turning everything into some boring lesson. Seriously, the abominable snowman?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Called it. Very good choice, by the way.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You made it really tall!

 _Stanford Pines:_ Yes, I tried to make it as life-like as possible. It was difficult using a ladder in this icy climate.

 _Stanley Pines:_ He fell off of it at least three times. You should see the black eye he got.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Wow. Is that actual hair you used?

 _Stanford Pines:_ You'd be surprised by how much llama hair is shed.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I'd ask where you are but it would probably be best if I didn't know.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dude. That's pretty scary.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It is pretty realistic. Have you ever seen the abominable snowman, Grunkle Ford?

 _Stanford Pines:_ Not yet, but I hope to encounter it soon. However, I've done quite a bit of research and come to the conclusion that this is an accurate representation.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You guys are really great when it comes to snowman.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I could argue with that, but I won't. So which one of us wins?

 _Stanley Pines:_ Isn't it obvious?

 _Mabel Pines:_ How about we take a vote?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Where you have to vote for someone else. You can't vote for yourself.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I guess that works.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I'm in. But do I have to vote now? This is kinda a tough decision.

 _Stanford Pines:_ We can cast our votes tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Our time zone or yours? Wherever you are.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Yours.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Deal.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Then we'll find out the winner tomorrow.

 _Mabel Pines:_ May the best snow creation win!

* * *

Dipper shook his head in amusement as he set his phone on the coffee table situated in front of the couch. "I have a feeling it might be between Soos and Grunkle Ford. Those two took it up a notch."

"I love Grunkle Stan, but I don't think anyone is going to be able to get rid of _that_ mental image," said Mabel with a giggle.

She studied the picture of Ford's snowman, a towering mass of snow carved in the shape of the yeti. Llama hair covered every inch of the creature, black coals acting as eyes, peering ominously from a curtain of white hair. Icicles hung from the armpits and arms, the hands and feet massive in order to be in proportion to the body.

"It's not fair," she lamented, getting to her knees so she could look over the edge of the couch through the living room window. "They can play in the snow and we just got a rainstorm last night."

"It's a mud wonderland," agreed Dipper. Their entire front yard was damp and soft, the grass nearly swallowed by the thick brown mud. "Too bad there's no such thing as a mudman."

There was a pause as the twins were struck by the same idea. With a beaming smile, Mabel jumped to the floor and declared, "Let's go, brother of mine!"

"We'll make the greatest mudmen in history!" cheered Dipper.

They spared a moment to shrug on their boots and rain slickers before charging out into the misty afternoon. It took a half hour to decide what they should craft and they soon got to work. They gathered piles of mud with shovels and packed it together with their bare hands. For two hours they sloshed about in the mud, hair sticking to their foreheads and boots caking with dirt and grass.

"There!" exclaimed Mabel, wiping droplets of water from her skin and leaving a streak of mud. "It's brilliant!"

Dipper removed his phone from his pants pocket and snapped a picture of the scene. There were seven mud figures rising from the ground, and though they weren't perfect they were identifiable. There was Wendy with her ushanka, which Dipper had removed from his head temporarily, Ford with a long beige jacket, which Mabel had dug from their father's closet, Stan with his tuxedo jacket, tie and eyepatch that Dipper found from their old Halloween costumes, Soos with his green T-shirt and a question mark drawn on it, Waddles in the middle, and on either side of the mud-pig were sculptures of Dipper and Mabel. Dipper had found one of his old hats and vests to use on his mud counterpart, and Mabel had managed to affix a knit jacket and sparkly headband to hers.

"Who says we need snow to have fun?" laughed Dipper. He then looked around the yard, which now bore holes and dips from their effort to gather as much mud as possible. "Uh…as great as this is, we better put the mud back before Mom and Dad come home to find the yard torn up."

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Mud Shack crew_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

It's almost time to vote! But before the inevitable fight begins about who deserves to win, Mabel and I make our unofficial contribution with our mudmen. I present the Mud Shack crew, complete with a mud version of Waddles. We may not have snow, but we learn to work with what we have.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Mud looks pretty good on me.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dudes. That's pretty sweet. But yo, you're gonna wash my hat, right?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Maybe.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I don't think I've seen soil used in such a way before.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Talk about making the most of your environment.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'm going to have mud in my ears for weeks, but it was worth it!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ How exactly did you manage to get mud in your ears?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I slipped and fell. A few dozen times.

 _Dipper Pines:_ We are hopelessly snowless, so we found our own way to contribute to the contest—just for fun, anyway. Are you guys ready to vote?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yup.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Totally.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Let's start it, then.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Why don't you kids start?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Sure. I vote for Wendy. Her snowman may not be extravagant, but it's a classic snowman, which I think was sort of the point before Soos took it to the next level.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And that's why I'm voting for Soos! His snow sculpture of Melody was really sweet and pretty, and I like that he took a different route.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I vote for Dipper and Mabel, because I look pretty rad as a mud sculpture.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Wait, what?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I vote for the little dudes. It was hard making a snow sculpture, so it must have been twice as hard to make what they did.

 _Mabel Pines:_ But this is a snowman contest. We didn't make ours out of snow.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Who listens to the rules? Not me. You get my vote, kiddos. I think I look even better made out of mud.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ It's settled, then. Including my vote, that makes you the clear winners. Substituting mud for snow is allowed, since there is a lack of snow available to you and you used alternative resources.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ But next time we have a contest you can't participate so that I get a shot at participating.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Next year we could have a snow fort building contest!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I don't think so. I thought I was competitive but ya'll take it to the extreme.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Runs in the family.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'll annihilate you next time.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Sweet! We won, bro! We're champions of mudmen!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Not bad for the tender age of thirteen.


	22. SUBJECT: True Valentine

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **Wherever you are and whoever you are, I hope that you're doing well. Happy Valentine's Day!**

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick), Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88), Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Valentine's Day plans_

Hey!

I actually have a date for Valentine's Day this year! My first one ever, actually. Unless you count the time in kindergarten where Lenny Hall and I shared mud pies in the sandbox, but it wasn't really a date. I think he even ditched me.

Anyway! I don't really know what to get him, so any advice would be super awesome. Do boys like flowers? I could make a flower crown. Or make homemade chocolates. What are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Valentine's Day is endorsed by overpriced greeting card companies, chocolate factories and fancy restaurants who serve a quarter of the food you should get for those stupid prices. It's all a gimmick.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Wow. Way to bring down a room.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, come on Wendy. Haven't you ever celebrated Valentine's Day?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Nope. I normally spend it at home vegging out watching television or hanging out at the diner with the crew. Valentine's Day isn't really my thing.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Ooh, who will be your Valentine?

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Yeah! Have you been holding out on us?

 _Mabel Pines:_ His name is Jaxon and he just asked me at school today.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You gotta give us more than that. What's he like?

 _Pacific Northwest:_ Never mind that. What's he look like? What's his social status?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You always know how to ask the important questions, don't you?

 _Mabel Pines:_ He's been in my class since the fourth grade, but I've never really hung out with him. But he's always making jokes in class and he's funny. He does really well in history, he always drinks cherry cola and he's captain of the school soccer team.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Captain, huh? Not bad.

 _Candy Chiu:_ You are very lucky. I will be spending Valentine's Day practicing my violin.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Marius and I are going to have dinner over video chat, but afterwards you and I can totally get some ice-cream.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I would like that very much. We will drown in sprinkles and whipped cream.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Woo party time!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ It's the middle of winter.

 _Candy Chiu:_ That makes ice-cream taste even better.

 _Mabel Pines:_ That sounds like fun! Maybe Jaxon and I will go get ice-cream after roller-skating.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ He's taking you roller-skating on Valentine's Day. Is he cheap?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Not all of us are spoiled rotten children born into wealth.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And I have very little wealth, so I don't have much to spend on a Valentine's Day gift. I'd like to make one, but I'm not sure what.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ The chocolates are a good idea. You can make them into little soccer balls!

 _Candy Chiu:_ Does he have a team jacket?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Yeah, he does. He wears it all the time.

 _Candy Chiu:_ You could make a patch for it! You're very good at making those.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Hey, yeah, I could do that!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ A patch is kind of personal for a first date. Maybe you should stick with the chocolates.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ You probably won't scare him off that way.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Jocks are pretty particular on what goes on their team jackets, anyway. Athletes at my school won't let anyone touch them, let alone sew anything on the material.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I guess that's fair. I've seen him eating chocolates, so I know he likes them. Okay. I'll make them into cool shapes. They're going to take a bit to chill, and Valentine's Day is the day after tomorrow, so I better get started. Thanks guys!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Have fun, dude.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Let us know everything when you get home!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ No details left out!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Do not make your Valentine's Day dinner greasy canteen food. Seriously. You can do better than that.

* * *

Filling his blue reusable water bottle with strawberry-flavoured water, Dipper then stuck it in the front pocket of his backpack. Shrugging it over his shoulders, he shot a quick glance at the microwave clock before going in search of his sister. He quickly found her in their bedroom, sticking a pair of rollerblades in her already-bulging pink bag.

Dipper frowned. He could not help but be worried about Mabel's Valentine's date, considering how eager and quick she was to begin a romance. Though she was a little more cautious about the guys she pursued, she couldn't help but get excited when someone showed interest in her. He should be happy for her, considering this was her first Valentine's Day date, but there was an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

Jaxon wasn't exactly a friend of theirs—to be fair, they didn't really have friends at all in Piedmont. But the raven-haired thirteen-year-old hadn't ever bothered to interact with them outside of forced group work and partner projects, and there were only a few of those. Dipper was suspicious that suddenly, out of the blue, the soccer player had asked Mabel out.

But he couldn't bring himself to voice his concerns to Mabel. She would be hurt and there was a good chance he was just being paranoid. Mabel straightened, slouched slightly from the weight of her backpack, and she beamed when she realized he was standing there.

"Sorry, bro. Just had a few more things to squeeze in." She reached behind her and opened her nightstand drawer, retrieving a glitter-covered pink heart, where ' _Happy Valentine's Day to the best brother ever'_ was written in bright red marker. "Happy Valentine's Day, Dipping-Dots," she sang, giving him a tight hug.

Dipper hugged her back just as tightly, accepting card when they separated. Warmth and affection swelled within him. "Thanks, Mabel. I love it. I have a gift for you, but I don't think it's going to arrive until later today."

"Ooh, a surprise! I love surprises." Mabel clapped her hands with glee. "I can't wait."

Dipper set his card carefully on his bed, not at all bothered by the silver, pink and red glitter that clung to his skin. "Come on, we better get going before we're late."

"I think I'll get there early enough to give Jaxon his present," said Mabel. "I hope he likes it."

"I'm sure he will."

 _If he knows what's good for him, he better._

The twins left the house, locking it up behind them and beginning the trek for school. They reached the brick building soon enough, and Mabel waved at her brother before splitting up to find Jaxon. She traversed through the halls, white sneakers with purple laces smacking against the scuffed speckled blue tiles.

If she came upon one of her classmates, she would pause and ask if they happened to know where he was. One of them directed her to the gym and she mentally smacked herself for not going there in the first place. Sure enough, when she stepped into the open space, there was a group of guys kicking the soccer ball around.

Jaxon happened to spot her as she ventured to the border of the lines painted on the hardwood floor. She waved at him and he seemed surprised for a moment before giving his head a slight shake. He jogged over and said casually, "Hey. What's up?"

"I just wanted to give you this before classes started." Mabel carefully extracted the white box of chocolates and handed it over. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh. Uh, thanks. You too." Jaxon took the chocolates and tucked the box under one arm, shooting a glance at his friends, who were staring and snickering. "Listen, I gotta go change before class. But I'll see you after school. I'll meet you at the bike racks at the back entrance."

"Sure. I'm looking forward to it," said Mabel with a smile.

Jaxon lifted his hand in a half wave and went in the direction of the changing rooms. Mabel skipped back into the hall, humming lightly as she headed for class.

...

Footwear pounded against the floor as students of varying ages bustled down hallways, flooding towards the entrance as the last rings from the bell echoed throughout the building. Dipper stuck a few of his textbooks into his backpack and slammed his locker door shut.

"I guess I'll see you later," he spoke to his sister, who had her bag over one shoulder and her roller-skates over the other. "Text me when you get to the rink?"

Mabel flashed a thumbs-up. "You got it!"

"I'll see you later, then. Have fun."

"Thanks!"

Mabel skipped off down the hall, winding her way past her peers as she headed for the back entrance. As she approached an intersection in the corridor, she paused when she heard someone say, "Jax, want to go catch a movie?"

There was the sound of a vending machine rumbling and followed by a pop can hissing. Jaxon muttered shortly, "Can't."

"Yeah, didn't you hear?" Jaxon's friend and co-captain Zach snickered. "He's got a date tonight."

"Seriously? With who?"

"Mabel Pines," answered Zach with a laugh.

"Isn't she the girl always covered in glitter? Why her?"

"I lost a bet, okay?" snapped Jaxon. "I'd be taking Susan Shores if I could. She's probably already waiting for me. This really sucks."

Mabel went numb. She didn't hear what they said next, didn't want to hear, as blood pounded in her ears. Humiliation, anger and hurt boiled in her veins and her hands trembled at her sides. The three boys suddenly burst into laughter and she turned on her heel and stalked away, fingers clenching into fists. Tears burned her eyes but she scrubbed them away before they could fall. Jaxon and his stupid friends weren't worth her tears.

She walked home on autopilot, feet dragging against the concrete and mind screaming at her for being so foolish. How could she not have been suspicious when Jaxon approached her outside of class, for the first time ever, and asked her out? How she could have missed how unenthusiastic he seemed about it? His embarrassment when she went to him in front of his friends?

She supposed she was just excited at the prospect of having her first Valentine's Day date that she missed it.

Biting hard on her bottom lip, Mabel unlocked the front door of her house and shuffled through the hall, dropping her stuff by the shoes. Dipper poked his head out of the living room and his eyes widened when he saw her. "Mabel, what are you doing here? What about-?" He then took in her miserable expression and asked in concern, "What happened?"

"It was a bet," she said bitterly, slouching towards their shared bedroom. "I guess the loser had to take me out on Valentine's Day and Jaxon was the loser. I overheard them talking. I don't think they noticed me."

Rage ignited through Dipper's entire being. "I'll kill him."

"He's an arrogant jerk, but you shouldn't get in trouble over him." Mabel crawled into her bed, dragging the covers over her body. Waddles immediately hopped next to her and snuggled close. Peeking out of her makeshift cocoon at her hovering brother, Mabel said, "I'll be fine. I just need to be alone for a bit."

"If you want. You know you're beautiful, right? And super talented. And Jaxon is a moron for not knowing what a privilege it is to know you, how lucky he would be to get to go out with you."

"You're sweet." Mabel gave a small smile. "And I do know. I swear."

"Can I get you anything?"

"…a super sundae?"

"You got it," said Dipper. "Give me a sec."

He hurried for the kitchen, pausing at the sight of the pink and red floral arrangement on the table. It was Mabel's Valentine's present, having been on the doorstep when Dipper got home. Beneath the glittery purple vase was a pile of equally-glittery Valentine cards, which Dipper found stuffed in the mailbox.

His fist slammed into the smooth surface of the refrigerator. Dipper grit his teeth and took a moment to calm down. He would get his chance to confront Jaxon, but staying angry would not help his sister right now. Taking a deep breath, Dipper opened the freezer and removed two tubs of ice-cream, vanilla and chocolate. He got the biggest bowl they had and piled in the ice-cream until it was almost overflowing. He added a mountain of whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, finishing it with drizzles of caramel sauce.

He was relieved to see the bedroom door still open when he returned and Mabel hadn't retreated to Sweater Town, which was a good sign. "Here," he whispered, approaching with the sugary treat.

Gratitude shone in Mabel's eyes. "Thanks bro," she said, taking the bowl and spoon.

"If you need anything else, let me know."

"I will."

Dipper kept his space for the next couple of hours, watching movies in the living room. He would periodically check in on Mabel, and eventually pop music filled the quiet atmosphere. The cheerful tunes meant she was feeling better and Dipper slipped in to give her a tall glass of Mabel Juice.

When he returned to his perch on the couch his phone was ringing. Dipper snatched it off of the coffee table and answered it. "Hello?"

" _Hello, Dipper."_

"Hey, Candy. What's up?"

" _I was wondering if Mabel was home yet. She hasn't been answering our texts, so I was hoping she was back so we could talk. Is everything okay?"_

"Uh…not really. She didn't go on her date."

" _What happened?"_

Dipper bit his lip and glanced in the direction of his room. "I think it's best if she tells you. Give me a second. She might just have her phone on vibrate and hasn't been hearing it go off."

" _Thank you, Dipper. Let her know we're worried and we would like to hear from her."_

"Of course."

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Worst Valentine's Day ever_

Sorry for the radio silence, guys.

Yeah, the date was a sham. Jaxon only asked me out because he lost a bet and that was the punishment. Not exactly a pride-inflator. But I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed and hurt. I'll get over it. I hope you guys had a better Valentine's Day.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ No. I don't think so. How much is a bus ticket? I'll miss a day of school but it'll be worth it when I kick that prick's butt all the way to the Artic.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I am so sorry, Mabel. What is his address? I will send him a very angry letter.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ We'll rig the envelope so it explodes some nasty gunk in his stupid face!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ That's a seriously cruel move. And that's coming from me. He obviously doesn't realize how gracious you were to accept a date when you can do so much better.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, guys. You're all the best. I just wish I hadn't given him the dumb chocolates beforehand. I am super glad I went with your advice, Wendy, and didn't do the patch.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Personal gifts are better saved for later on in a relationship. And your gifts are the bomb, and trash like Jaxon aren't deserving of them.

 _Mabel Pines:_ He's not trash. Just an arrogant guy who thinks he's all that.

 _Candy Chiu:_ You are very nice, Mabel.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ How are you going to fester a grudge if you won't call him rude names? Did you say anything to him?

 _Mabel Pines:_ No, I just overheard the conversation he was having with his friends. I stood him up.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Oh in that case perfect.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I bet his puny pride can't take that.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You're strong, brave and gorgeous, Mabel. Don't take the opinions of jerks like Jaxon seriously. There are people who are going to try to undermine you. Don't let them.

 _Candy Chiu:_ We will take care of anyone who tries to hurt you.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ We'll resort to violence if we have too!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Some people may try to undermine you out of jealousy because of your natural social skills, outgoing personality and the fact that you're always happy. As someone who constantly faces jealous girls, I speak from experience.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Only you could disguise a supportive remark as a compliment about yourself.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

* * *

After spending an hour conversing with her friends, Mabel signed off and ventured into the kitchen to refill her glass. She froze at the sight of twelve beautiful pink and red roses in a purple vase on the table, surrounded by cards.

"The flowers are from me," spoke Dipper, coming up behind her.

Mabel ventured closer to take a sniff, smiling at the sweet scent. She gave Dipper a bear hug and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Dipper. I love them." She took a look at the cards and asked curiously, "Where did all these cards come from?"

"Gravity Falls. And two from Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford, which I think were sent from Europe."

Mabel shifted through the Valentine's Day cards. Some were heart-shaped, some were round and some were square. Some were covered in glitter, some in ribbon and some in gemstones. There were cards from everyone they knew in Gravity Falls, and there were about fifty of them in total.

"Beats the years where I didn't get any," joked Dipper.

"You know what? I don't need a boyfriend to have as a Valentine," declared Mabel. "I never did. I have you, Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, and all of Gravity Falls. Dipper, would you like to go to the movies with me?"

Dipper smiled and bowed. "It would be my honour."

Mabel linked arms with him, a bright smile on her features. "Then let's go paint the town purple!"

…

The next day Mabel walked to school alone, since Dipper had an early morning meeting with his robotics club. He insisted he could skip it, but she refused. She would be fine. She would have to encounter Jaxon at some point, and she'd rather get it over with.

As she headed for her locker, Jaxon, Zach and their friend suddenly stepped out of a classroom and in front of her. They didn't notice her as they spoke. "Come on," Zach pressed. "How did the date with Mabel go?"

"Fine," snapped Jaxon. "It was fine, okay?"

Mabel picked up her pace and forced her way past the three males, bumping her shoulder sharply against Jaxon's as she did so. "That's funny," she said sweetly. "I don't know how our 'date'," here she made air-quotations with her fingers, "could have been fine when I never went out with you in the first place."

Jaxon's face turned bright red as his friends burst into surprised laughter. "She stood you up?" chortled Zack.

"Yup. I had a better Valentine to spend time with."

"Let me guess, your brother?" spat Jaxon.

Mabel spun on her heel and glowered into his face, causing him to recoil slightly. This close vantage point brought Jaxon's black eye to attention. "You better believe it," Mabel said proudly. "I decided it wasn't fair to me to lower my standards. But if your pride is still hurt, I'm sure Susan Shores would go out with you if you asked. I think you'd make the perfect couple."

Jaxon glared at her as his friends stared with wide eyes. Mabel started to walk off, but before she disappeared around the corner, she called, "Did you get that injury from soccer practice or did my brother have a talk with you?"

"No way. First you got stood up by the female Pines and then the male Pines decked you? What the heck?"

"Dude. How lame are you?"

Leaving Jaxon to splutter and try to defend himself, Mabel grinned broadly and sauntered off to get ready for her first class of the day.

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _CC: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _Subject: I'll kill him_

What's this punk's address? What does his face look like? I know a couple of hitmen from the old days. They won't kill him, because I want that honour, but they'll rough him up good. I'll teach that snotnose a lesson he won't soon forget.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dipper blabbed, didn't he?

 _Grunkle Ford:_ He didn't have much choice, dear. We figured something was up when you told us you didn't go on your planned date. Stan wouldn't let him hang up until he told. We were just worried.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's okay. I guess I should have told you. But I didn't want the front page headline to be 'Middle School Soccer Player Killed by Mysterious Old Men'. Jaxon is a jerk, but I don't want him dead.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Fine. I won't kill him. I'll just scare ten years off of his life.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I'm fine, honestly. Why would I want a guy like that for a Valentine anyway? I have Dipper, I have you guys and the girls. Thanks for the Valentines, by the way! I love them.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You're welcome. Thank you for your Valentines. I especially like the colour feathers you pasted onto the owl on my card.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Mine was better. 'You're under arrest for stealing my heart.' With handcuffs drawn around a heart? Classic.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You're all right, then?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I promise. If it makes you feel better, I stood him up and then Dipper socked him in the face and gave him a shiner.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Yes, I suppose that retaliation will do.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Those are my runts. You're beautiful, pumpkin. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Prettier than the rarest gemstone and brighter than any star in the sky.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I know. Any guy who gets me as a girlfriend is the luckiest guy in the world, and he better know it. But for now, I have you guys and all my friends, and that makes me the luckiest girl in the world.


	23. SUBJECT: Stuck in the Attic

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick), Grunkle Stan (StantheMan), Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Déjà vu_

Hey!

So you remember all those months ago when Dipper went through the ceiling of the attic? I'm sure you do because it was hilarious. But now I'm trapped in the attic, and it's not hilarious from this end. The door is stuck and not opening. I don't have my cellphone on me, so if one of you could contact Dipper for me that would be great.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

Wiping her dust-streaked hands on her black purple-dotted leggings, Mabel moved the laptop she was using over to the corner of the attic. It had been a stroke of luck that she discovered it, rifling through yellow-stained boxes in search of something to pry the door open.

Some of the keys were missing, but if she pressed down hard enough she could make them work. There was a crack spider-webbing down the right corner of the screen and the battery life was practically non-existent, so the frayed, taped-up charger stretched from one of the attic's electrical sockets.

"Whew. Okay. Communication established. Now to wait for a response."

She lifted a box to remove it from her path and dropped it on an already precarious stack. A cloud of dust rushed up, causing her to erupt in a series of sneezes. She hunched over slightly, hand moving to cover her nose and mouth. When her sinuses were as clear as could be such a tight, dirty atmosphere, she straightened.

"Geez, it's stuffy in here."

Mabel moved over to the window, stepping carefully across the wooden beams, not wanting to re-enact Dipper's through-the-floor routine. She reached the window and gripped the bottom, the paint chipping off at her touch. With a few grunts and a lot of strength, she managed to wrench the window upwards, releasing a flurry of white paint and more dust. A breeze drifted through the open space and Mabel gulped in the fresh air.

Now it was a little easier to breathe, Mabel set her hands on her hips and regarded her situation. The boxes she had rifled through yielded nothing but old baby stuff, faded books and holiday decorations. Though there were still some boxes remaining, she doubted they would hold anything of use to her. Most of the tools were kept in the shed in the backyard and despite her strong power of imagination, she figured a crowbar wouldn't materialize anytime soon.

Mabel went over to door and yanked on the knob, even though she knew it was futile. The wooden door rattled in its frame, but would not budge. Shrugging her shoulders, Mabel picked her way back to the laptop and brightened when she discovered a string of new messages.

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Hey! So you remember all those months ago when Dipper went through the ceiling of the attic? I'm sure you do because it was hilarious. But now I'm trapped in the attic, and it's not hilarious from this end. The door is stuck and not opening. I don't have my cellphone on me, so if one of you could contact Dipper for me that would be great.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Geez what is with you guys and attics?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You runts lived in one for three months without a problem. Now they're trying to kill you.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I would say that it's illogical that a room has the sentience to try and kill you but let me tell you that there are some terrifying and freaky things in the multi-dimension.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Wait, if you don't have your cellphone, how are you contacting us? Do you have special powers?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I wish. The power of teleportation would really come in handy right now. I found one of Dad's old laptops up here, and it still works, so yay! A victory for me.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'll give your brother a call, pumpkin.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, Grunkle Stan! Tell him to bring a crowbar. Or a saw.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ How long have you been trapped?

 _Mabel Pines:_ I honestly don't know. The little clock in the corner of the laptop screen is blurred, so I can't read it. Is it still February?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I think so. Haven't checked the calendar today, though, so I'm not sure.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Not even gonna go there. Yo, Mabel, you could use the hole Dipper made last time and drop into your living room.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We patched it up pretty good last time, so I don't think I'll be able to pry the boards off with just my hands. I could probably go out the window and onto the roof. I dunno how the neighbours will react to my grappling hook, though. My parents still don't know I have it.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I think it would be best if you waited for your brother.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ That can be your backup plan, hambone. Is it a far drop?

 _Mabel Pines:_ About three stories, and there are some bushes below. I could probably make it without my grappling hook.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ That's maybe a little bit higher than when you jumped off the Mystery Shack roof trying to fly.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ …what?

 _Mabel Pines:_ It was an experiment.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ She got some good altitude.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Yes, you most definitely shares the genes of Stan and I. I am both proud and concerned by this.

* * *

Blueprints stretched across the oak table of the library, Dipper and his robotic club members started the beginning stages of constructing their robot for the annual Piedmont Junior Robo-Brawl. Dipper tapped his pencil idly against the edge, listening to his teammates discuss possible improvements and chiming in to voice his own suggestions.

An insistent buzzing in his pocket caused him to pause his note taking. He took a peek at the caller ID and immediately stood up when he realized it was Stan. "I'll be right back," he informed the group and quickly walked outside, squinting against the bright rays of the sun. "Hey, Grunkle Stan. What's up?"

" _Your sister, all the way up in the attic."_

Dipper blinked, surprised by this unexpected information, and then grinned. "Did she fall through the ceiling?"

" _It's rude to wish your twin in such a humiliating predicament."_

"I'm taking that as a no. And that's real rich coming from the guy who bust a gut when it happened to me."

" _I'm a guy who appreciates humour. Mabel's trapped in the attic and didn't have her phone, so I'm summoning you to go rescue her."_

"Got it. I'm on my way. Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

" _No problem. And you runts really need to stay out of your attic."_

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Dipper jogged into the library to tell his club members that he had to leave to help his sister, and started for home. He noticed the e-mail notifications and started to read through the messages, unable to keep the grin off of his face.

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'll be there in twenty minutes. Which is about the length of time it took for you to come help me.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Come on, bro! That's not cool!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You're loving this, aren't you?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Very much so.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ It's funny that you both got stuck in the attic.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's very funny. And I would say there's a good dose of karma being dished out here, considering how hard she laughed at me.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Ha ha, I get it. I probably had this coming. But you're not getting any karma points for laughing at me now, mister.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I am fully aware of this and willingly admit that I'm no more mature than you are when it comes to taking amusement out of our misfortunes.

 _Mabel Pines:_ So long as you admit it.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Good luck, kids. Try not to get too crazy getting that door open.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We'll try, but I don't think this door is going to survive.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Use an axe. Axes always help.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Pretend you're in an action movie. It'll give you a ton of motivation.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Take a picture of the aftermath. I can't wait to see this.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Will do. Update you in a bit!

* * *

Kicking off his sneakers, Dipper made a beeline for the attic, taking the stairs two at a time. "Mabel?"

"Bro, I'm dying of thirst!"

"No you aren't." Dipper gripped the knob with both hands and pulled with all his might. "Geez," he groaned when it didn't budge. "What did you do, decorate this with superglue?"

"Less quips and more rescuing. I don't have anything in here to help out."

"I'll go find something to get this dumb thing open. Don't go anywhere."

"And you say Grunkle Stan has bad jokes."

"Runs in the family."

Dipper made his way out into the backyard, crossing the browned grass towards the sagging garden shed tucked away against the fence. He nudged open the door and batted away some cobwebs. He picked through his father's toolbox, eyeing the hammer and screwdriver with some thought before giving his head a shake.

"Crowbar, crowbar…"

After some careful rifling through a crate, he found the desired object. Taking the metal object, he rushed back into the house and up the stairs. "Got it," he said.

"Got what? A saw?"

"We don't own a saw, first off. We're in a Californian suburb. I got a crowbar though. So let's see how this goes."

Digging it between the cracks, Dipper braced one foot against the wall and pushed down on the bar. He felt Mabel pushed from the other side, trying to add more force to dislodge the door from its hinges. It took a few minutes but finally it gave way. Dipper scrambled backwards to avoid being struck and the door clattered to the hardwood with a _bang_.

Dipper wasn't quite sure how old their house was, but considering how the door broke apart on impact, he could take a good guess. Splinters scattered across the floor, the rusted doorknob clattered and rolled and there was a massive crack snacking down the middle of the door.

"Freedom!" whooped Mabel, charging from the attic and going down the stairs.

Dipper kicked aside some screws and followed after her, crowbar dangling next to his side. He found her in the kitchen, guzzling down some water. "Do you need a tetanus shot?"

"Nope. Maybe an inhaler to get rid of all the dust I inhaled." Mabel wiped lingering drops of water off of her mouth and set the glass down. "Thanks for the save, Dipper."

"Anytime." Dipper placed the crowbar on the table and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know what we're going to do about the door, though."

"We'll just get a new one," Mabel said. "Can't be too hard to install a door."

"Mom and Dad will notice a new attic door."

Mabel glanced at him in amusement. "Mom and Dad haven't noticed there's a patch of paint on the living room ceiling that doesn't quite match the rest. I don't think they'll notice the door's a different shade of brown and has a new knob."

"Fair point. Okay. Let's go door shopping. Which is probably something no other thirteen-year-old does. But first, we have to clean up the mess."

"I call the vacuum!" cheered Mabel, hurrying off to collect the object.

"Don't suck up the curtains this time!"

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Door didn't survive_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Managed to rescue Mabel from our evil attic. On the bright side she found an old functional laptop I could use later for an experiment or something. We couldn't save the door, but it's for the best. This is what happened to it afterwards.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You certainly did a number on it, Dipper.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Looks like all that work I made you do with the axe paid off.

 _Dipper Pines:_ We don't own an axe, so I used a crowbar to get the door off. But yeah, all the wood chopping you forced me to do totally helped me out.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You did that with a crowbar? What, did you just wail on it?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dude, that sounds like fun.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dang I wish I thought of that. It's not often we get to bash things with tools.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It was so old it broke when it hit the floor.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ That's showing it whose boss.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Now we just have one more thing to take care of.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ What's that?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I don't suppose any of you know how to install a door?


	24. SUBJECT: Acne Agony

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Natural remedies_

Just a curious question for you. Do you know of any natural remedies for acne? I tried the Internet for some answers but I don't really know where to start. Plus I don't know who's trying to mess with me. I could try drugstore products but again, don't know where to start.

Any input you have would be great. Thanks!

* * *

"I'm not going to school tomorrow."

Mabel, who was sitting on the edge of the white porcelain sink, gave her head a sharp shake. "Sorry. I think I heard you wrong. I could have sworn you said you didn't want to go to school."

"I can't go out in public like this!" cried Dipper, unable to tear his gaze away from the oval-shaped mirror. "Everyone will stare!"

"I think they already stare. You wear a winter hat and we're in California where the sun almost always shines."

"When they look at Wendy's ushanka, it's with curiosity. But when they catch a load of Mount Everest on my face it's going to be with disgust!"

On Dipper's chin, smack in the middle, was a bright red pimple. It stood out against his pale skin and there was a collection of blackheads surrounding it. Dipper poked at the acne gingerly, flinching as it throbbed beneath his touch.

"I think touching it is just going to make it worse," remarked Mabel.

Dipper hastily lowered his hand. "Ugh, this sucks." He grabbed a washcloth from the cupboard behind him and soaked it with cold water from the tap. He pressed it against his pimple and slouched against the wall. "I have to make this go away by tomorrow."

"You're not the first teenager to have acne, bro," Mabel pointed out.

"I'm already self-conscious enough, this isn't helping matters," said Dipper miserably. "I'm just going to be paranoid that every time someone looks at me all they'll see is this dumb pimple."

"Hey, it'll be fine," soothed Mabel. "We'll do what we can to get rid of it. You're also not the first teenager to worry over acne. It's the plague of puberty."

"Definitely not the part I looked forward to," muttered Dipper. "How come I'm the first one to have to deal with this?"

Mabel grinned. "I got the braces. It's only fair you get the pimples."

"Fair point," conceded Dipper. He dug through his shorts pocket and removed his phone. "I'm going to do some investigating."

"Is it okay if I take Waddles for a walk?" asked Mabel.

Dipper waved her away. "Oh yeah. I'll be fine. Just having a fit. I'll get over it…hopefully."

Mabel patted him on the shoulder. "Seriously, try not to worry about it. Society's standards of beauty is way overrated. I'll be back shortly to see what cure for acne you've discovered."

She skipped out of the bathroom, calling out for her pig. Dipper took her place on the counter, legs kicking idly as he searched through the numerous Internet results for some home remedy solutions.

"Wait, toothpaste? Is that a thing?"

…

After circulating through her neighbourhood for twenty minutes, Waddles happily trotting by her side and sniffing every single tree and bush as he tended to do, Mabel began the trek for home. Sweat caused her bright pink tank top stick to her body, matching sweater tied securely around her waist. When she was a block away from home her phone started to trill and she fished it from her pocket. She swiped her finger across the screen to accept the incoming video call and beamed when Stan's face filled with rectangular screen.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey, kiddo." He noticed the blurs of green shrubbery in the background and asked, "Out painting the town red?"

"Nah, just taking Waddles for a walk."

Stan shook his head in mock-disappointment. "You kids are pretty boring without the supernatural surrounding you."

"Our secret is out," joked Mabel. "What sorts of trouble are you causing?"

"Well, I accidentally broke a statue in an abandoned temple, and I guess it was sacred or something, for the locals freaked out. We got chased out of the village, but I managed to smuggle a rare jewel with us, which is the only reason why Ford isn't giving me the silent treatment."

"Wow, I was sort of joking, but I really should have known better," said Mabel in amusement. "Can I see the jewel?"

"Sure. Gimme a sec."

Mabel reached her front door as Stan started rummaging for the artefact. She stepped into the air-conditioned hallway and unclipped the leash, allowing Waddles to scamper off. She glanced back the screen to see a weird, spiky amber-coloured gem cradled in Stan's hand.

"Cool!" she exclaimed. "What is it?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out. Where's your brother? He'd probably get a kick out of this."

"He's probably in the bathroom, hold on."

"Whoa, you can't just burst in on him! There are some things I want to go through life not seeing."

"No, ew, he's been trying to get rid of a pimple," laughed Mabel.

"Ah. The teenage years. How I hated them."

Mabel discovered the bathroom door open but the lights were off. She turned on her heel and shuffled into the bedroom, where she found Dipper typing away at his computer. "Yo, Dipping-Dots, Grunkle Stan has something to show you!"

Dipper turned his head, eyes widening at the sight of his great-uncle on Mabel's phone. "Wait, not when I have junk on my face!" he yelped, jumping up and accidentally tripping over the chair leg, crashing to the floor.

Mabel jogged over and peeked down at her brother, who groaned and shoved his chair to the side, the wheels making tracks in the carpet. She squinted. "Is that toothpaste?"

"Toothpaste is supposed to go in your mouth, not on your face," quipped Stan.

Dipper flushed and stood, the bright blue glob of mint-scented toothpaste covering his pimple. "It's a home remedy," he defended. "The general consensus online seems to be that it works. I thought I'd give it a shot."

"You try popping it?"

"I am not popping this thing," exclaimed Dipper. "That's disgusting. Besides, I'm trying to reduce my chances of leaving a scar."

"Too bad I'm not there. I was the ruler of popping pimples."

Mabel pulled a face. "Super gross, yet not surprising."

"What was it you wanted to show me?" asked Dipper.

Stan showed Dipper his discovery and the thirteen-year-old fawned over it for a moment. On Stan's end of the video call there was the sound of footsteps falling on wood and Ford's voice spoke, "Stanley, I've told you not to play with the gem. There won't be much to study if you break it."

"I'm showin' it to the runts, Poindexter."

Ford squeezed next to Stan on the screen and smiled. "Hello, kids." His gaze landed on the patch of blue on Dipper's face and he asked in bemusement, "What's on your chin, Dipper?"

"Toothpaste," he answered, cheeks flushing slightly. "Beneath the toothpaste is a pimple that may or may not consume my face at a later date."

"He was hoping you might have a solution for him," said Mabel. "This was his attempt while he waited."

"Did you contact me?" asked Ford, brow furrowing. He patted his pocket, quickly realizing that his phone was not where it usually was. "Blast. I must have forgotten it here when I went out in port. I'm sorry, my boy."

"Hypocrite," scoffed Stan. "You're always on me about bringing my phone everywhere."

"That's because you forget yours ten times more than me," returned Ford. Placing his attention back on Dipper, he said carefully, "I'm not sure if toothpaste is the best remedy for acne."

Dipper groaned. "I thought it sounded really weird."

"No, no, it's certainly a tactic that people use," assured Ford. "But the ingredients in toothpaste will dry out your skin, which could sometimes make it worse. In my youth I tended to use a honey and cinnamon mask. It's not necessarily proven that it works, but I certainly saw improvements. Raw honey has more medicinal benefits than commercial honey."

"There's about a thousand and one health shops in California, so that shouldn't be a problem," said Mabel cheerfully.

"Did you ever try and experiment with acne solutions?" asked Dipper curiously.

"I did. Once."

"Ended horribly," said Stan with a cackle. "His entire face broke out into hives and boils. It lasted for almost two months. It was disgusting."

Ford glared. "Though I could have cracked the perfect acne treatment skin cream, I decided that perhaps such an endeavour would be best left for professional dermatologists. There are drugstore creams and masks you can use, but it will most likely require trial and error to find one that works best for you."

"I guess I could do that," said Dipper, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll start with the honey things for now. I really want to bring this pimple down before school tomorrow."

"Kid, you're not the first to have a bright red spot in the center of your face," said Stan.

Mabel threw her hands in the air. "That's what I said!"

"I know, I know. I just…feel self-conscious, and we all know I have enough of that."

"I'm afraid nothing of puberty is fun. It's okay if acne makes you feel uncomfortable—it's natural, and I guarantee majority of teenagers go through it every day," reassured Ford. "But you don't have to be ashamed of it. As cliché as it is, your appearance is only a small part of who you are—"

"—it's what's on the inside that's most important," finished Dipper with a sincere smile.

"And if anyone wants to give you crap for some dumb zit, they're the ones with real insecurities," added Stan. "Just deck 'em."

"Er…I think I'll save that as a last resort," said Dipper with a slight smile. "I'll just ignore them and keep my head high."

"Stanley, you could learn a thing or two from him," chided Ford.

"Shut up, Poindexter."

Dipper laughed. "I'm gonna wash this junk off of my face and find some cinnamon. Thanks."

"Anytime my boy."

"You'll keep us updated on what you find with the gem?"

"Of course," agreed Ford. "Granting that Stan doesn't break it."

"Keep up the attitude and I'll do it just to spite you," countered Stan.

They said their goodbyes and Mabel disconnected the video call. "I'll go milk a bee for some honey."

Dipper squinted at her. "You are joking, right?"

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Glad to know you think so highly of me." She leaned forwards and gingerly poked the blob of toothpaste, where not a single blue chip came off. "It hardened, bro."

"Ah, shoot!"

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Magic of makeup_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Hey!

So the honey and cinnamon mask brought down the redness, but the pimple was still noticeable. Thankfully I'm a whiz with makeup. Should have just done this from the beginning!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Thanks for letting me know ahead of time that you were doing this…

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, come on, you're not the only guy to ever wear makeup. Robbie is awesome with eyeliner.

 _Dipper Pines:_ That does not comfort me.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Wow, can't even see it. How much gunk did you use?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Just a few layers of foundation and concealer.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ This technique would have saved me a lot of grief with my more appalling acne episodes.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You're lucky to have a sister like you do, kiddo.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah, definitely. But I think it's only fair that she sends you a picture of herself.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Why's that?

 _Dipper Pines:_ The makeup job she performed on herself is miraculous. She woke up this morning with a huge zit in the middle of her nose. Hers is way worse than mine.

 _Mabel Pines:_ …I would say it's unbecoming to boast, but if you ever end up getting braces I will be laughing all the way to the orthodontist.


	25. SUBJECT: Candid Camera

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: Nice shirt, bro_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Hey!

The picture you are about to view is a rare sighting. I've always known Dipper owned this shirt, but I've never caught him wearing it, as hard as that is to believe. But I finally succeeded and I had to share this for posterity.

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

" _Mabel!"_

Pressing her hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles, Mabel stayed as still as possible in the bathroom closet. She was sitting on a pile of faded towels, the corner of a washcloth dangling from the shelf above ticking her forehead. She listened as Dipper stomped around the house, shouting her name angrily. Doors opened and slammed shut and it was not long before he checked the bathroom closet. He flung the door open wide, light spilling into the small confines, and Mabel gave a half-shriek, half-laugh.

Dipper glowered. "This will be your final resting place."

Grinning, Mabel held up her hands in a defensive manner. It did not pass her notice that her brother was wearing a grey sweater instead of the shirt she had caught him in ten minutes ago, but she was wise not to remark on it. "Aw, come on, I couldn't resist!"

"You're not even supposed to be here! I thought you had theater!"

"Director cancelled—he got food poisoning, so I came home early." Mabel wrangled her way out of the closet and stood, smoothing out her yellow sweater with a glittery sunshine sewn onto the front. "I'm surprised you didn't hear me."

"I was listening to music," snapped Dipper. "You have theater for three hours twice a week. That's my 'me' time. You've ruined it and my reputation."

"They'll think it's funny," insisted Mabel. When Dipper continued to scowl, she tugged on his arm beseechingly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I never see you in that shirt and it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

Wrinkling his nose, Dipper regarded her sincere, apologetic expression before letting out a huff of air, the final shreds of anger and annoyance evaporating. "Sisters."

"A rare, confusing breed," said Mabel with a straight face.

"Not so rare," returned Dipper, managing to bite back a smile. "Grunkle Stan is never going to let me hear the end of this."

"He'll forget all about it when you do something else that's completely embarrassing."

Levelling a finger at her, Dipper warned, "Be aware of what you have started. I shall have my revenge."

A twinge of unease coursed through Mabel and she inched her way towards the door. "Uh-huh. I'm gonna go…arrange my knitted cozies. Love you!"

She skipped off and Dipper shook his head, shuffling out of the bathroom and heading into the living room. He reluctantly removed his phone from his pocket, where the infernal picture was still on the screen. It showed him sprawled out on his bed, eyes closed and chin tilted towards the ceiling. A pair of headphones were resting firmly over his ears. He was wearing a very old, very faded, very ratted white shirt that had a fuzzy rubber duckie on the front, only a few tufts of yellow feathers remaining. It was short, the hem riding well over his belly button, and the sleeves hanging a few inches off of his shoulders.

"Next time, barricade the door," he muttered to himself, cheeks flushing red. Taking a breath, he braced himself and began to read the comments.

* * *

 _Grunkle Stan:_ This must be what a midlife crisis looks like when you're not yet middle age and have only been in existence for just over a decade.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ That's a very durable shirt, if you've owned it for as long as it seems.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Huh. Totally figured you were more of a lamb guy, but ducks are equally sickeningly cute.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dude, I used to have the same shirt. Except it was a cub. And it didn't have cool fur. And it was a sweater.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ So nowhere close to being the same.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's comfortable!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I don't care if it's the most comfortable thing on the planet, it's hideous.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ So is your undershirt, which was once white and is now yellow and apparently very comfortable.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ True, but at least it doesn't have a duck on it.

 _Dipper Pines:_ That's the last time I have my guard down when I wear that thing—and there will be a next time.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You have no idea how long I've waited for this opportunity.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You've seriously never seen him in it before this?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Wow, that's impressive.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I know, right? There's pictures of him wearing it when he's five and six. I've always known he kept it in his dresser, and I know he wears it occasionally. I never managed to catch him until now.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ And it fits? Is it magic?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Don't think so. It's just really stretched out and I'm severely lacking in the muscle and height department.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'm definitely framing this picture.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ If I ever find a larger version of that shirt I'll send it to you.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Don't be too mad at your sister, my boy. This will blow over soon enough.

 _Dipper Pines:_ The anger has passed. I am now focussing on my revenge.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'd sleep with both eyes open if I were you, Mabel.

* * *

Enacting payback on his sister was not an easy task, not that Dipper ever expected it to be. She had always been outgoing and much less reserved, so there wasn't much that embarrassed her. She spent a lifetime wearing colourful sweaters, belting out pop songs in public and covering every inch of available skin with glitter and stickers. She was also on her guard, so he couldn't trick her into an embarrassing situation. He would have to wait for the right opportunity to arise.

A few weeks passed by and his patience (with a good mix of karma) won out. He was sitting at his computer desk, working on his science homework, when he realized that it was oddly quiet. Brow furrowing, he swung himself out of the computer chair and ventured in search of his sister. He passed through the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom, but did not find her.

"Hmm." Dipper went back the living room, hands on his hips. He glanced at Waddles, who was lounging on the couch. "Don't suppose you know where Mabel is?"

The pig shifted his position, so that his snout was facing the window, and snorted.

"Outside, huh? Thanks." Dipper gave Waddles a pat on the head and strode for the front door, sticking his socked feet into a pair of sneakers. He ventured into the yard and swung around the cracked stone path that led into the back.

She wasn't anywhere in sight, leaving only one place for her to be. Dipper jogged over to the wooden shed and yanked open the door. He stared for a moment, a slow grin curling across his features. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

The right sleeve of her pink sweater was caught on a rusted nail sticking out of the wall and her left foot had broken through the bottom of a green plastic bucket. Her toes hovered an inch off the ground and she was struggling to wrench herself free of her predicament. She had frozen the second her brother walked in, a dull blush spreading across her face.

"Aw, come on, don't—"

Dipper removed his phone from his jacket pocket and snapped a picture.

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: Payback_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Did you think I forgot my vow of revenge? No way. All I had to do was wait patiently for the right moment. It's all about opportunity, right Mabel?

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Okay. I want to ask how the heck you managed to end up in that position, but I feel like that may be a stupid question.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ That looks uncomfortable.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It is.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ You gonna tell us how this happened? Cause I seriously want to know.

 _Dipper Pines:_ She needed to reach something on the shelf and used the bucket as a ladder. She got caught on a nail and when she was trying to free herself her foot went through the bucket. She'd tell you this herself, but she's trying to type with one hand and it would take too long.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks a lot.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Anytime.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Are you satisfied?

 _Mabel Pines:_ No.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yes.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Oh, fine. I guess I deserved it.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You guys never fail to make me laugh. Thanks, seriously, for lighting up my day.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Yeah, you hambones are great!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, it's nothing.

 _Dipper Pines:_ We're naturals at amusing people, even when we're not trying to.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I wonder if there are any traits that we don't share.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Is this the end of your little feud?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'm calling it quits. I don't think I—or my reputation for that matter—can handle any more candid camera.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You got me fair and square, bro.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ So you both will never again take advantage of a super embarrassing and hilarious moment that occurs to the other?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Heck no. We just won't be waiting around and trying to get each other. That doesn't mean we won't take the opportunities when they happen.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We're only human.


	26. SUBJECT: April Fools

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **I didn't finish it in time but have an April Fools chapter anyway.**

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _Subject: Good morning_

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, birds are singing and to top it all off, it's Saturday. I hope everyone has a great day. I know I will.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Who are you and what have you done with Wendy?

 _Robbie Valentino:_ No. No, no, no. no.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ If anyone comes near me today, especially the lumberjack, I'll sue.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I've never been able to prove she was the one who filled the Tent of Telepathy with bats last year…

 _Soos Ramirez:_ And the horror begins. I think I'll lock the Shack up for the day.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Oi, don't even think about it! Don't let her scare you. I never once closed the Mystery Shack on this stupid holiday.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Oh, yeah, it's April Fools Day!

 _Dipper Pines:_ So I'm gonna go ahead and gather from your reactions that Wendy is Gravity Falls' ultimate prankster on the first of April.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ She's crazier than a one-eyed loon with no feathers.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ You know all the pranks she pulled during the summer? Yeah, she goes on a spree this day. No one is safe.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I think I have spotted her first victim!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Yeah, we were in town and saw that Blubs' and Durland's police cruiser was filled with ping-pong balls and the outside is covered with duct tape.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Is she crazy? She can get arrested for that!

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Only if they catch her. Which they never do.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Aw man, she's already loose.

 _Stanford Pines:_ This is one tradition I am fine with missing out on.

 _Stanley Pines:_ This is the first year I can laugh at you losers instead of keeping on my guard.

 _Mabel Pines:_ This is going to be interesting!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Or someone might die.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Hasn't happened yet, so we're probably due.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Good luck everyone!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ We're gonna need it.

* * *

Grabbing a dark green towel from the linen closet, Robbie shuffled towards the bathroom. He took a moment to pause near the staircase and holler, "If Wendy shows up, don't let her in!"

"But she's such a nice girl," his mother returned, voice drifting from the direction of the kitchen. "Are you fighting?"

"Today? Heck yes. It's April Fool's Day! I don't want to see her until tomorrow."

He spun on his heel and stormed into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He turned on the water and stepped under the hot spray, his muscles relaxing slightly from the soothing sensation. He squirted his shampoo into the palm of his hand and started working it into his raven strands. Every little noise caused him to jump and yank back the curtain to glare at the firmly-shut door.

"I hate this holiday," he grumbled. He shuddered as he recalled what she had done last year—shaving his hair into a rough version of a buzzcut. He had been very tempted to retaliate by cutting off _her_ hair, but feared her revenge.

After a few minutes lathering and rinsing, he cut off the water and stepped out of the stall, using his towel to dry off. He rubbed at his damp hair, freezing when a clump of hair fell over his eye. Straightening, he hastily scrubbed the steam off of the mirror and stared at his reflection, dumbstruck by the tangled purple locks of hair that now dominated his head.

" _Mom! Did Wendy come over before I woke up?!"_

"No, hon, she came yesterday when you were out! She said you still had one of her CDs!"

This wasn't technically a lie, since Robbie was still hoarding a few of the music discs he had borrowed. The fact that it was the perfect excuse to gain access to the bathroom and tamper with his hair products caused agitation to swell within him.

" _Wendy!"_

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Robbie Valentino (EternalDarkness)_

 _Subject: I hate this_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Yeah, she got me, ha ha. I hope you're having a good laugh, Wendy. You're paying to get this fixed.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's a good colour on you!

 _Dipper Pines:_ At least it's not pink.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ My only solace of this monstrosity.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Did you not look at your shampoo before you used it?

 _Robbie Valentino:_ It looked the same!

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ And one of us has been hit. The war has started.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Is this day always as dramatic as you are making it out to be?

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Yes.

 _Stanley Pines:_ It's a good look for you, punk.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Ugh. I hate everything.

* * *

Adjusting the collar of his blue tuxedo, Gideon appraised his appearance critically for a moment before giving a nod of satisfaction. He reached for his container of gel, dipping his fingers into the clear substance and beginning to massage it into his hair.

When the white blonde strands were coated, he picked up his comb and raked it through. His brow furrowed when it refused to move through his hair and tried pulling it out, only to discover that it was stuck.

"What the—?"

He suddenly thought back to Wendy's frighteningly cheerful e-mail and his heart dropped to his stomach. Gideon walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, where his father was reading his newspaper.

"I don't suppose you've seen Wendy this mornin'?" he said with a calmness he did not feel inside.

"No, but she came by yesterday," said Bud cheerfully. "Dropped off some hair gel for ya. It's nice to see that ya have such nice friends." He looked up and his smile twisted into a perplexed expression when he noticed the plastic comb trapped in his son's thick hair. "Is that a new trend or somethin'?"

"Or somethin'," returned Gideon, his left eye beginning to twitch. "Excuse me for a moment."

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Gideon Gleeful (LilGideon)_

 _Subject: This ain't funny_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

If I have to shave my head so it's as bald as a newborn babe I'm going to have a relapse. Wendy girl, you can mess with my business, but you cross a line when you sabotage my hair. I will have my revenge.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Check your hair products, people.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Dude. If you go bald I won't be able to look at you. It'd be too weird.

 _Stanley Pines:_ It's not easy to look at him now, don't see how losing his hair would make any difference.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I'm not in the mood for your insults, Stanley. I have a crisis to fix!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Some dish soap will get that right out. Leave it in for an hour and keep your hair in a towel. Rinse it out and wash with shampoo.

 _Dipper Pines:_ She has gotten numerous items stuck in her hair. She's the expert.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ You're an angel, Mabel.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Don't get creepy.

* * *

Extending her right hand, Pacifica inspected the rose-pink polish coating her nails, searching for any imperfections. Deeming it acceptable, she blew lightly, hoping to speed up the drying process. She had to pamper herself these days, her parents refusing to let her continue with her daily salon trips.

"Pacifica!"

Rolling her eyes on instinct at the sound of her father's demanding call, she returned, "Yes?"

"We're going to the country club for breakfast. Hurry and get ready."

"Okay."

Swinging her legs over the edge of her bed Pacifica stood and went over to her wardrobe. With the hand that held dry nail polish she opened the door to study her fashion choices. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of her silk shirts, frilly dresses and pleated skirts knotted together. Thinking that perhaps she was imagining things, she yanked off a cream cashmere sweater from its hanger. A slew of clothes followed after it, trailing like a chain.

"Actually, I'm going to stay home," she managed to shout, anger just barely being contained as she stared at her wrinkled and (as far as she was concerned) ruined clothes. "I have nothing to wear."

 _Oh, she is_ not _going to get away with this._

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _Subject: Oh no she didn't_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

The first couple of pranks she pulled were funny, but this is so not cool. Do you know how much these cost? If I see a single tear or hole you're paying for a replacement. I hope the Shack pays you enough for silk and cashmere!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Stanley Pines:_ I can vouch that there is no way Wendy will be able to replace your fancy European clothes.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Maybe a nice pair of socks.

 _Stanford Pines:_ How did she manage that one?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I don't know! I've been home all morning and my clothes were fine last night.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Don't you have a special sleep routine? With headphones and a noise machine?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ …yes.

 _Dipper Pines:_ So you didn't check your clothes this morning?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Oh my gosh. There is no way she snuck into my room in the middle of the night to do this infantile prank. That is beyond creepy and in fact illegal.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Good luck proving it.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ She's like the phantom of April Fools Day.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ She's going to pay for this—literally and figuratively.

* * *

Slinging his bath towel onto the hook, Dipper approached the tub. The pranks his friends were currently enduring very much at the forefront of his mind, he eyed the showerhead suspiciously. Leaning forwards he twisted the nozzle and watched as blue-dyed water spewed, creating bright swirls on the porcelain before going down the drain.

Rolling his eyes, Dipper tightened the belt on his green bathrobe and threw open the bathroom door. "Very funny, Mabel. You're cleaning—"

He was abruptly cut off as something soft and squishy slammed into his face. The force of the blow sent him stumbling backwards a few steps, spluttering in surprise. Mabel, who had been crouched next to the doorway, stood straight and burst into laughter.

"April Fools!"

Dipper gingerly rubbed at his face, staring at the white cream that coated his fingertips. "What is this?"

"Shaving cream."

"You couldn't make it whipped cream?" he demanded, grabbing his towel to scrub at his face.

"We were out. Shaving cream is funnier, anyway."

When his vision was clear, Dipper took a quick glance around the bathroom. Globs of shaving cream covered the floor and there were blue stains on the wall and floor of the shower. "You're cleaning this up."

"Fine," agreed Mabel, still grinning.

Dipper followed his sister downstairs and into the kitchen, idly picking spots of cream out of his hair. Mabel opened the cupboard door beneath the sink and removed the cleaning products she needed, setting them on the floor. Deciding to get a drink before she started her task, she straightened and grabbed a glass from the dishwasher. She moved over to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher. She filled it with Mabel Juice and took a sizable gulp.

" _Ugh!"_

She coughed it out, mouth twisting at the strong, foul, bitter flavour. She nearly dropped the pitcher of pink juice in her haste, but managed to set it clumsily on the counter as she raced to rinse her mouth. "What the heck was that?"

Dipper pumped his fist victoriously. "Yes! I was hoping to get you first but hey, I'll take it."

"Did you put salt in here?"

"Not in the juice directly. I replaced the sugar bowl with salt."

Mabel spat out a mouthful of water and turned to stare at her twin in horror. "Do you know how much sugar I put in Mabel Juice? You could've given me salt poisoning!"

"Even if you had swallowed, you wouldn't get salt poisoning," said Dipper in amusement. "It takes a lot more than that."

Pouring her ruined beverage down the sink, Mabel admitted, "That was a good one."

"So was yours. I didn't even stop to consider the drinking powder in the showerhead was a red herring."

"I wasn't sure if it would work, so I had a backup. I figured you would be on your guard today."

"At least I only have to worry about you," said Dipper with a grin. "I'd probably be hunkered down in the Mystery Shack's bunker if I had to face Wendy being on the loose."

"I wish we were there," said Mabel wistfully. "I could totally be her sidekick."

"Geez, talk about a team-up straight out of a nightmare."

Mabel's phone buzzed in her pocket and she smiled widely, yanking it out and tapping on the notification. "Wendy strikes again," she cheered. "She's really the Queen of April Fools."

Dipper moved from the kitchen table to peer over her shoulder. "Poor Soos. He didn't stand a chance."

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _Subject: She got me, bros_

She put superglue in my hat. I don't know how she did it. I set it down for a second and Melody didn't see her come in. She's got superpowers or something. I am impressed.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ I am very glad all I had to deal with is a shaving cream pie to the face.

 _Mabel Pines:_ And Mabel Juice sabotaged with salt.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ We are not so lucky.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Next year I'm crashing at your place. Yo, good luck getting the hat off Hamster Dude.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Thanks! Did the dish soap thing work for you, Gideon?

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Oh yeah, it worked like a charm. But how are you going to remove it if the glue is on the inside, where you can't access it?

 _Mabel Pines:_ You could try cutting a small hole and putting the dish soap through there!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ I'll give it a shot, hambones. I'm sure Melody could rip it off if that doesn't work.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oh man, I'm hurting just thinking about it.

 _Stanley Pines:_ It's your own fault. Not paying attention and leaving your personal items unattended is just you begging to be pranked by the Red Menace.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Who?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Wendy, Soos. Wendy.

* * *

Giving a soft snort of amusement at Soos' plight, Stan minimized his e-mail window on the laptop. He stood and started for Ford's cabin, arms stretching over his head. "Hey Ford, Wendy finally got Soos. She put superglue in his hat, can you believe—?"

When he stepped into Ford's space he paused, eyebrows flying upwards. His twin was sleeping on the worn cot, fully dressed and his phone resting on the floor beside him. Stan shook his head and was about to retreat to his own room when a sudden idea struck him.

"April Fools Day, huh?" he mused to himself, a wicked grin stretching across his features. He went over to the hope chest nailed to the ground and eased the lid open. He found the sewing kit and removed a thread and needle. He quietly approached the edge of the cot, studying the trench coat Ford always wore, and got to work.

It wasn't an easy task, since he knew Ford could jolt awake at any moment, a habit developed after decades trapped in the portal. But Stan moved quickly and silently, traits learned after years as a criminal and con-artist. When he finished he backed away, surveyed his handiwork, and grinned.

" _Ford!"_

Stan's bellow instantly startled Ford awake. "What is it?!" he shouted, attempting to sit up and suddenly finding himself falling straight to the hardwood floor of the boat. "Ouch!"

The grogginess from his abrupt wake-up call rapidly faded, allowing him to take in his surroundings. Stan stood over him cackling and Ford found that he could not move his arms. Staring down at himself, he was stunned to discover that his trench coat had been sewn shut with black thread, his arms criss-crossed over his chest and sewn into place.

" _Stanley!"_ hissed Ford, struggling to rip his arms free but the thread keeping them firmly locked down. "What is this?"

"Come on, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to prank you," snickered Stan. "I can't believe you actually fell asleep."

"You're right, it is my fault for thinking you would act like an adult and ignore this immature holiday," said Ford with a scowl. "Get me out of here."

"Nah, I don't think so. I'm sure you've got scissors in here somewhere. Have fun." Stan took out his phone and snapped a picture. "I'm gonna go post this on the Internet."

He left the room, leaving Ford to shout furiously after him. He skipped up the stairs and onto the deck of the ship, enjoying the bright blue sky and spring weather. He habitually turned to check on the sails, eyes immediately locking on the leather wallet duck taped to the top of the mast.

 _His_ wallet.

" _Poindexter! You're a jerk and a hypocrite!"_

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: My prank is better_

 **2 Attachments (Photo Files)**

It's Ford's fault for falling asleep and it's my fault for leaving my wallet unattended. But clearly I'm way better at this April Fools thing. I didn't exert myself to pull it off.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Good thing you're not afraid of heights any more!

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ I didn't know you could sew, Stanley.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ He's made a lot of exhibits with just a needle a fabric!

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ How's it going with the hat?

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Not so good.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ You climb that and you'll throw out your back. Film it.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Shut up, Gideon.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Where's Grunkle Ford?

 _Stanley Pines:_ Probably still stuck in his coat. He has access to scissors.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ You know, Wendy wasn't all that devious until she met you.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oh yeah, he's a bad influence.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I wonder why Wendy isn't conversing with us.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ She's probably killing herself laughing.

 _Candy Chiu:_ Actually, she just got her next unfortunate victims.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Who?

 _Grenda Gosling:_ **Photo File (Click to view)**

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Are those…handcuffs?"

 _Candy Chiu:_ We were eating ice-cream at the diner. One moment we had our freedom and the next we were wearing metal bracelets chaining us together. Wendy was nowhere to be found.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Girl I love you but I can't stay likes this forever. I don't want to sit through your violin lessons.

 _Candy Chiu:_ I completely understand.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Maybe Wendy is part phantom.

 _Stanley Pines:_ She's probably lost her mind by this point.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Hold on. She got Robbie, Pacifica, Gideon, Soos, and now Candy and Grenda. Which means the only person she hasn't gotten yet is…

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Time to batten down the hatches.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Just activate the security system. She won't be able to set one foot past the gate.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Stangetmeoutofhere

 _Stanley Pines:_ There he is. Fine, I'll get the scissors. Good luck, McGucket. You're going to need it.

* * *

Pacing across the smooth floor of the security booth, McGucket kept casting paranoid glances at the monitors. There were about half a dozen screens, each showing segments of the sprawling mansion. Everything was currently silent but that did not set McGucket at ease. There were several dozen windows Wendy could utilize to gain access to his home and the cameras didn't catch all of them.

After a few minutes of intent perusing something caught his eye. On the monitor that showcased the front drive, he noticed something tired to the front gate, flapping in the wind. He stared at it for a moment, knowing very well that this could be a trap.

"This is my home, gosh darn it!" McGucket finally declared. "I won't be intimidated on my own soil!"

Before he departed from his mansion he grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen to defend himself if need be. He walked slowly across the rolling green yard, eyes shifting about in search of anything suspicious. When he reached the gate it was to discover a green piece of flannel tied to the bar.

"What in tarnation?" he muttered, brow furrowing.

Looking past the gate, he could see more strips of the fabric lying in the dirt, creating a trail. McGucket began to follow them, apprehension growing when he was being led into the forest. After a while he finally reached the end, seeing the final piece of fabric nailed to a tree.

McGucket had to back away in order to stare up the tall looming oak, eyes widening when he spotted his banjo tied to one of the top branches. He gaped for a moment before letting out a sigh of resignation.

"Dangnabit. That little missy crossed a line."

* * *

 _To: Payback Seekers (10+ contacts in this group)_

 _From: Fiddleford McGucket (OldmanMcGucket)_

 _Subject: Uprising_

 **1 Attachment (Photo File)**

Come on, y'all. We can't let her get away with this. We've got plenty of time to strike back before the day is over. Who's with me?

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ You know, I'm surprised McGucket is the one inciting the revolution. I totally thought Pacifica would be out for blood.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I don't like getting my hands dirty. But this time I'll make an exception.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Dudes, I'm in. I tore some skin off when I finally got my hat free.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Wendy's terrifying when she's mad.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Well, I'm mad too. Mad as a hornet that I had to retrieve my banjo from a tree. It's time to dethrone the April Fools Day master.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ …all right. I'm in. She definitely has it coming.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ She won't know what hit her.

 _Candy Chiu:_ What _will_ hit her?

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Water balloons!

 _Stanford Pines:_ Certainly a classic, but I'm sure you can get more creative.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Balloons filled with horseradish!

 _Stanley Pines:_ Syrup!

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ Glue!

 _Candy Chiu:_ Paint!

 _Robbie Valentino:_ Egg yolk!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Slime!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Mayonnaise!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Pink glitter!

 _Dipper Pines:_ We don't really have a score to settle with Wendy, but I casually make the suggestion of vinegar.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Yes, that ought to do it. Perfume might also work. She doesn't like sweet, flowery scents.

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ Get all the balloons you can get your hands on and start filling them up! We'll meet at the hardware store in two hours. As Tyler would say, git 'im!

* * *

Leaning against the check-out counter of the hardware store, Wendy scrolled through her e-mails as she waited for the cashier to bag her items. She had felt the continuous buzzing as her friends conversed but had been too busy executing her pranks to check her notifications. She smirked at the rants and vexation aimed at her, satisfaction and pride swelling within. They were mad, sure, but they would all get over it eventually.

"Another April Fools dominated," she said with a laugh.

Taking her plastic bags from the cashier, she whistled as she walked outside. She froze upon discovering most of her unfortunate prank targets gathered around the front of the store, buckets in hand brimming with colourful balloons and mouths twisted in wide mischievous smiles.

"Aw shoot," hissed Wendy, realizing that this errand her father had sent her on was a complete trap. "Betrayed by my own flesh and blood."

"We've suffered your pranks for years," cried Robbie. "We won't stand for it no more!"

"Do you know how much its going to cost to dry clean my clothes to get the wrinkles out?" demanded Pacifica, raising a substance-filled balloon threateningly.

"The prankster is gonna get pranked!" cheered Soos.

"These handcuffs will not hold us back!" declared Grenda, her and Candy hoisting two balloons out of their bucket.

"Let's see how ya like gettin' glue out of your hair," sneered Gideon.

"On the count of three!" called McGucket.

Wendy flung her arms over her head, dropping her purchases in the process. She would not argue, because she could admit to herself that she deserved payback and was impressed that they were actually striking back. Her bravado was not so strong when the projectiles started striking her, substances of differing consistencies splattering over her body.

"Ugh! Wait wait wait!" she half-laughed, half-shouted, ducking her head as a mix of egg yolk and mayonnaise dripped down the side of her face. "What the heck did you put in—ow! Watch the face!"

"This is really therapeutic," said Pacifica with a grin, hitting Wendy's waist with a red paint-filled balloon.

"I feel better already," said McGucket cheerfully, hitting the redhead's cheek with pink glitter.

"These are from Mr. Pines," called Soos and Wendy soon found her hair and back coated with a sticky liquid.

The onslaught eventually ended and Wendy slowly unfurled herself from her defensive stance. She looked down at her body, which was almost completely covered in a mix of substances. She could identify paint, glitter, egg yolk and mayonnaise staining her clothes and skin, but wasn't sure what the other gunk was.

"Okay, what's in my hair?" she asked, gingerly tugging on her ginger strands.

"Mostly glue and syrup," replied Candy.

"And a little bit of horseradish," added Grenda.

Wendy sniffed her wrist and held back a gag. Rising above even the strong odour of paint was the manufactured sense of roses. "Oh my gosh, did you use perfume too?"

"It was Ford's idea," said McGucket with a smile.

"Dang. Everyone's in on it, huh?" Wendy took off Dipper's cap and shook it out. Unable to hide her grin she said, "Okay, this was pretty good. I wasn't expecting it."

"We should have done something worse, but we didn't have much time left," drawled Pacifica, gesturing towards the setting sun.

"I guess I have a tendency to go too far, so I'm pretty cool with the fact you didn't shave me bald when I was sleeping," said Wendy. "Sorry."

"You didn't physically maim and/or brutally traumatize any of us, and we got our revenge, so I think we're all satisfied," said Robbie, slinging his hands in his pockets.

"All is forgiven," said McGucket cheerfully. "It is April Fools Day after all."

Wendy rummaged through her jean pocket and pulled out a slim key, which she tossed to Candy and Grenda. "I was going to give it to you tomorrow, but I'd rather not wake up with fish heads by my pillow."

"Ooh, that would have been a good one," mused Candy, unlocking the handcuffs and flexing her wrist in relief when it was freed.

"Pretty creepy though," said Grenda, wrinkling her nose.

"I need a shower. Several showers, actually." Wendy grabbed her bags from where they rested on the ground. She gave her friends an affectionate salute and said, "I'll see you later, dorks. Thanks for making this a rad April Fools Day. I enjoyed myself."

"Can't wait until next year," quipped Gideon.

"It won't be a one-sided battle any longer," promised McGucket. "We'll give as good as we get."

Wendy smirked. "Bring it." She caught sight of Soos straying from the group and turned her head, eyes widening at the video camera he retrieved from a tripod resting on the sidewalk. "Oh, you did not."

"Mr. Pines really wanted to see it," explained Soos. "So I had to catch it on video."

"Heck no. He sees physical proof and he'll never let me forget it for the rest of my life. Gimme the camera."

She charged towards Soos and he hastily tossed the camera towards Gideon, who caught it. "Scatter!" he hollered.

With a lot of jeering and laughing, the group took off down the street. Covered in foul-smelling substances, hair hardening and sticking to her skin and clothes, Wendy grinned. "You're all a bunch of losers!"

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)_

 _Subject: We got her_

 **1 Attachment (Video File)**

I got her a couple of times for you, Mr. Pines!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oh shoot that looks disgusting.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You should have seen the shower afterwards. I think I spent more time cleaning it than myself.

 _Stanford Pines:_ You were a very good sport about it.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Sure. If you can't take what you dish out, than don't dish it out at all. Though I'm gonna have that perfume stench clinging to my skin for a while. Thanks.

 _Stanford Pines:_ Any time.

 _Mabel Pines:_ How much glitter is still on you?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ A lot. Did you have to make it pink?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Of course!

 _Stanley Pines:_ Ha! This is the best thing I have ever seen! How'd you like the syrup?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ It was sticky and a pain and I'm beat. I'll talk to you dorks tomorrow.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Night!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Nighty night!

 _Stanford Pines:_ Goodnight, dear.

 _Stanley Pines:_ Night, Creature From the Deep.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Aw, shut up.


	27. SUBJECT: Thoughts on Dipper

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: School assignment_

Hey!

Remember a couple of days ago, when I asked you guys what you thought of me for a school report? Well, I'm asking again, only this time I want to know what your opinion is of Dipper! He's asked all the guys but refuses to ask you girls, which is totally biased. Since he's being a dork about it, I decided to ask on his behalf! So fire away!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

Stretching her arms over her head as she watched her e-mail disappear into cyberspace, Mabel stood up from the computer chair. She ventured out of her bedroom and went into the living room, where Dipper had taken over the coffee table. He was currently reading through a notebook, brow furrowed in a mixture of amusement and frustration.

"What's up, bro?"

"I can't use these!" Dipper exclaimed, holding out the notebook for his sister to read.

Written in his handwriting was a collection of quotes from their friends. Mabel bit down on her bottom lip to keep her laughter from escaping, as they were mostly various synonyms for the word 'nerd'. "I guess they weren't taking it seriously?" she managed to say.

"Robbie and Gideon? Apparently not," he grumbled, grabbing his phone and typing a text to the aforementioned males. "Soos and McGucket were really nice, but these two are just messing with me. How am I supposed to compile enough material for this assignment if they won't cooperate?"

"You know they love you."

"I'm tempted to argue that point," returned Dipper, though he smiled. "What did they say about you?"

"Robbie said I was a suffocating ray of glittery sunshine and Gideon said I was an angel who did not deserve to walk amongst regular people."

Dipper stared at her for a moment. "Well, at least Robbie said more than two words to you," he said at last. "And we obviously know I'm not Gideon's favourite."

"Any input from Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford?"

Dipper shook his head. "No. Which is kind of surprising. I thought Grunkle Stan would be the first with some sort of smart comeback for this."

"Darn. I didn't hear back either." Mabel lowered onto the end of the couch and rested her chin in her hands. "You think they'll respond in time? I really wanted to include them in my report."

"I'm sure they will," assured Dipper. "They always respond whenever we text, they just might be tied up right now. Fighting some three-eyed monster or whatever. So what did Soos and McGucket say about you?"

"Soos said I was the nicest person he's ever met," Mabel smiled happily. "And McGucket said I was so sweet I give him cavities. How about you?"

"Soos said I was the best pterodactyl bro he could ask for and I'm super smart. McGucket said I was clever, kind and should have more confidence in my abilities."

"We have great friends," said Mabel contently.

"Well, the jury is still out on Gideon and Robbie," joked Dipper. As the words left his mouth his phone trilled, indicating a new text in his inbox. He checked the message, lips quirking in amusement. "They decided to make an effort this time. Gideon says I'm annoyingly persistent and determined, but it's admirable. Robbie's surprised by how tough I can be, and respects how I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. He still thinks I'm a dork, but a cool dork."

"What do the girls say about you?" asked Mabel innocently.

Dipper shot her a look. "You know I haven't asked them, and I'm not going to ask them."

"Why not? I asked all of our friends! What's the big deal?"

"I don't know, I just feel awkward about it! I've never asked a girl what they thought of me before, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to hear the answer."

"You're taking this too seriously," said Mabel, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Story of my life. But I'm still not going to do it." Dipper reached over to jab at her leg. "Stop pressing."

Mabel let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine. I'm going to start on my report, then. Good thing it only has to be two pages, or you probably wouldn't have enough material since you only asked half of your friends."

"Goodbye, Mabel."

Smirking, the girl skipped back to her bedroom, jumping into her computer chair and going for a quick spin before checking her e-mail notifications.

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Remember a couple of days ago, when I asked you guys what you thought of me for a school report? Well, I'm asking again, only this time I want to know what your opinion is of Dipper! He's asked all the guys but refuses to ask you girls, which is totally biased. Since he's being a dork about it, I decided to ask on his behalf! So fire away!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I was wondering why I didn't get a message from him. I know he can't be worried about what I'm going to say because he asked Robbie for his opinion.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Yeah, we'll be nice!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ With a healthy degree of sarcasm.

 _Candy Chiu:_ **Dipper** can be very silly.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Tell me about it. He's never really had any girl friends before, so I guess he's not really comfortable with hearing what girls might think of him, even if they are his close friends. I thought I'd help him out!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ What exactly is the point of this assignment?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Well, first we have to write a page on how we view ourselves and how we think others view us. Then we have to talk to our friends and family and get their opinions to see how _they_ view us. We write up another page and then we have to write a conclusion, comparing the two viewpoints and seeing how similar or different they are.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dang. Wish my schoolwork was that easy.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I think Dipper's a great guy! He's nice and he doesn't act like a jerk to be cool and he's still cool anyway.

 _Candy Chiu:_ He isn't afraid to apologize when he is wrong and he means it. I know if I ever need his help he will give it to me. He'll hang out with us and do girly things with us, even if he gets embarrassed over it sometimes he does it anyway. He's not afraid to embrace his feminine side.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ He's thirteen and yet he's already way more mature than ninety percent of the guys—and girls, for that matter—at my school. He can hold a meaningful conversation and he can just joke about the most ridiculous things. He's not afraid to stand up for his friends and family and you can always count on him. He's also a huge dork, but I love him for it. He's my bro.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thanks, guys! Dipper will be really happy when I tell him this. Pacifica, I know you have something to add!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ No, not really.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ What'd we say about the Ice Princess routine?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Ugh. Fine. Dipper's okay. He helped me out with the whole ghost invasion incident even though he didn't have to and I probably didn't deserve it. He's kinda funny. Doesn't have much fashion sense, but that can be fixed. He's got the backbone to tell people off. He's nice, not fake nice but sincerely nice. But he can be a jerk sometimes which is good because it's exhausting being around people who don't know how to be snarky or mean. He can be way too uptight and serious. But all around, yeah, he's a decent, cute guy.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ …

 _Grenda Gosling:_ …

 _Candy Chiu:_ …

 _Mabel Pines:_ SQUEE

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ What?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ NO COOL I MEANT TO SAY COOL

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ BUSTED

 _Candy Chiu:_ That is what we call a Freudian slip!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I knew it! You like Dipper!

 _Mabel Pines:_ I CAN SET YOU UP ON DATE! I'LL BE YOUR MATCHMAKER!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ GO AWAY. It was autocorrected, you dorks! It was supposed to say 'cool' not 'cute'!"

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I wish I lived closer so I could see how much you're blushing on a scale of one to ten.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ There's no autocorrect in the e-mail server's instant messaging!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Look you got your stupid opinions. Can I go now?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, come on, you totally have a crush on Dipper! Admit it!

 _Dipper Pines:_ …you think I'm cute?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Oh snap.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ How'd you get in this chat?!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Candy tagged me into here a little bit ago. I should have spoken up sooner but…

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I'm leaving.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ And I meant cool, not cute!

 _Candy Chiu:_ I think I am going to go find a hiding place. I suspect she is going to come hurt me. I may or may not talk to you later.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ Wait until I tell Marius this one!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ This went down a path I was not expecting and I am not displeased by. See you dudes later. Oi, and Dipper, next time you have an assignment like this one you know you can ask me anything, right?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I know. I was being, as everyone is correct in saying, a dork. Thank you. You're my bro, too.

 _Mabel Pines:_ …are you mad?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dipper?

…

When her brother did not reply further, Mabel hesitantly rose from the computer chair and started back for the living room. She peeked around the entryway and found Dipper sitting where she had left him. He was staring blankly into space, a smile on his features and a blush on his cheeks. He seemed to be taking in the fact that Pacifica Northwest thought he was cute, and was currently no longer working.

Mabel ventured further into the room and cautiously poked his shoulder. When she didn't get a reaction, she grinned and said, "I'll come check on you in an hour."

She returned to her bedroom and grabbed her notebook, deciding she better start on her own report. She was just finishing up the intro when her phone trilled in her pocket. "Hello?" she answered.

" _Hey, pumpkin,"_ greeted Stan. _"Sorry for not getting back to you right away. Hope you still got some space left in your assignment, because Ford and I have quite a bit to say. Is your brother around?"_

"Um, yeah, but you might have to talk to him later, or I could relay everything you say."

" _Is everything okay?"_ spoke up Ford.

"Oh yeah, totally. It's actually amazing. Matchmaker Mabel is back in business!"

* * *

 _To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)_

 _From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: Autocorrect my butt_

You're not kidding anyone, Princess. Ask him out already. Just be sure to treat him right or we'll have to have a talk.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Oh. My. Gosh.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Ha! You're never living this one down, Pacifica.

 _Grenda Gosling:_ He ships it!

 _Candy Chiu:_ I think they would be cute together!

 _Stanford Pines:_ Leave her alone, Stanley.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Grunkle Stan I told you not to tell her I told you!

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I hate you all. I'm disowning you. I never want to speak to you again.

 _Grenda Gosling:_...are we still on for the sleepover this weekend?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ Yes.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I MEANT TO SAY COOL.


	28. SUBJECT: Operation Switcharoo

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **In which Mabel and Dipper switch places. If the idea of Dipper dressing as a girl and Mabel dressing as a guy makes you uncomfortable, here's your warning.**

* * *

 _To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)_

 _Subject: Hollywood stars in your neighbourhood_

Yo dudes.

I just read that the crew of _The Sarcophagus' Curse_ is coming to do a promotional stunt in Piedmont for their latest film. Since it's Dipper's favourite film of like ever, I'm not bothering to ask if you're going to meet them. Snag me an autograph from Leila Petti, will you? She's a kick-butt actress.

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ Dipper would if he could. But he can't. He's been moping about it for the last two days.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's typical. The cast of my favourite film franchise is coming on the one day I'm already busy. Life really is unfair.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ That sucks. You can't get out of whatever you're doing?

 _Dipper Pines:_ My robotics club is getting ready for an upcoming bot-fighting tournament. We have a meeting after school and I need a decent excuse in order to miss it. Like a severe illness. Otherwise I'll get kicked out.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Bot-fighting sounds super rad, but it's not an once-in-a-lifetime experience.

 _Mabel Pines:_ He wants to finish the year with the club so he'll get into the high school robotics club. Apparently it's competitive.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It is. And as much as I want to, I can't skip out. We worked really hard on our robot and it wouldn't be fair if I just left them to it.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Well, what about Mabel? She can get the autographs for you…and me.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I could totally do it.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I know, but it's just not the same as meeting them myself. This would be a great time to clone myself.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Your lesson was clearly not learned.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ What?

 _Dipper Pines:_ She's just making a joke. Which is not funny.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ You know what, you already have a clone—sort of.

 _Mabel Pines:_ He does?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Yeah, you.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Pretty sure my clubmates would notice the difference between me and Mabel.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Not if you switch places and disguise as each other.

 _Mabel Pines:_ We haven't done that since we were super little.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I don't think that's going to fly. She's, you know, obviously a girl and I'm obviously not.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Come on, it's the perfect solution. You guys are pretty similar in facial structure and body shape and you could probably imitate each other's voice. No one will know.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It sounds like fun!

 _Dipper Pines:_ Seriously?

 _Mabel Pines:_ Why not? Besides, I've got the best Dipper impression.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Mabel can go to your club and you can go meet the stars of _The Sarcophagus' Curse._

 _Dipper Pines:_ As Mabel. I'll meet A-List Hollywood actors dressed as a girl. Why can't I go as myself and have Mabel dress as me?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ There's going to be a lot of cameras snapping pictures and a lot of people. It might get back to your club members and then they'll realize they were tricked.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Which still would not be as awkward as getting busted for dressing as my sister.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ They won't knoooow.

 _Mabel Pines:_ You can't reschedule your meeting and you can't miss it. This is a solution!

 _Dipper Pines:_ You are way too excited about this.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ What do you say, Dipper?

 _Dipper Pines:_ …fine. Why not? I've done far more embarrassing things.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Plus you really really want to meet Danny Devro.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's a great motivator, actually. Even with the knowledge that I won't pull this off.

 _Wendy Pines:_ Dudes, no one is going to notice. Trust me.

 _Dipper Pines:_ We'll see.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Operation Switcharoo is a go!

* * *

"Found it!"

Dipper paused his wrestling with a pair of light blue leggings to call, "Hang on a second!"

He managed to yank on the article of clothing and adjusted the short skirt, which was a darker shade of blue. Dipper then shrugged on a sweater that had silver and blue gem swirls on the front. Outfit complete, he swung open the door where his sister was patiently waiting on the other side.

"This is a bad idea."

"Won't know until we try it," said Mabel cheerfully. She was already wearing Dipper's orange T-shirt, dark blue vest and shorts. In her hands was a wig, long brown hair that was a shade darker than her natural hair colour.

Dipper gingerly took it, rolling the artificial strands of hair through his fingers. "Why do you even have this?"

"For Halloween, a long time ago. When the hairdresser cut my hair way too short and I needed it longer for a costume. It came in handy then so I decided to keep it. Good thing, huh?"

"Yeah," said Dipper flatly, adjusting the wig over his own short locks. Mabel handed him a brush and he smoothed out the tangles. When he was finished, Mabel was staring at him with an awed stare. "What?"

"Pretty sure this is going to work out fine."

Brow furrowing in confusion, Dipper approached the mirror and was stricken by his reflection. With the addition of the wig, he looked strikingly like Mabel. "I don't know how to feel about this."

"Just a few more finishing touches," declared Mabel.

She took some blush to use to redden Dipper's cheeks, foundation to take the redness away from his nose and used mascara to elongate his adjusted the wig so that hair fell over his forehead, covering his birthmark. "Wow," was all Dipper could find to say.

"Tell me about it."

Mabel removed a clip from the pocket of her shorts and piled her long hair on top of her head. She took Dipper's ushanka and pulled it on, covering the excess of hair from sight. As she used the blush to redden the tip of her nose, Dipper squinted at her eyelashes, suddenly releasing they were much shorter than before.

"Wait, what did you do to your eyelashes?"

"Trimmed them with cuticle scissors."

Dipper gaped at her. "That's dangerous!"

"It's not the first time I've done it. But this is the first time I've got them this short. You hardly have eyelashes compared to me."

"I think you're taking this way too seriously."

"I've got a part to play, bro!"

"Those theater lessons you took when you were seven really left an impression."

Mabel finished her makeup application process and they stood side-by-side in front of the mirror. There were some things they couldn't mask, such as Mabel's cheeks being rounder than Dipper's, miniscule difference in height and Mabel's braces.

"That's a problem," remarked Dipper, gesturing to the silver gear adorning Mabel's teeth.

Mabel thought for a moment and said, "I'll be right back." She disappeared and returned a minute later carrying a white bacteria mask. She strapped it over her mouth and swung out her hands in victory. "Voila!"

"I'm changing my mind. This is most definitely not a good idea."

"You're sick and don't want to spread it around! Problem solved."

Dipper scratched the back of his neck, feeling the wool material of the sweater rub against his skin. "What about me? I can't magically acquire braces."

"You're going to be in the city, where no one knows Mabel Pines wears braces," she answered, unconcerned. "Even if you run into some kids from school, it's not like they talk to us anyway."

Knowing she had a point, Dipper looked once more at their reflection in the mirror. "I know we're twins, but this is still freaky."

"Freakier than the time we switched bodies on the magic rug?"

Dipper blinked. "Right. That was a thing that happened. Never mind then."

…

Mabel approached the house of Dipper's robotics club friend, Justin. The garage was open and she stepped inside. "Hey, guys."

The three males standing around a worn wooden table glanced up. "Uh…hey, Dipper," spoke Justin, eyeing Mabel oddly. "What's with the mask?"

"I've got a nasty cold. I'd hate to spread it around."

"Thanks for the consideration, but a couple of germs won't stop us." Len kept his eyes on the small, square, tank-like robot as he tightened the bolts. "We're winning the tournament this year."

The look of utter seriousness and determination on their faces caused Mabel some bewilderment. She knew that the bot-fighting tournament was important, but she didn't realize it was such a big deal. Dipper was excited about these events, sure, but not as intense.

"Right. So what can I do?"

"Did you get the wiring finished from last time?"

"Er…no, I'll get right on that."

Mabel removed a blue notebook from Dipper's bag, which he had told her contained instructions for the mechanisms of the robot they were constructing. He had known that he would be tasked with finishing the wiring, and wrote everything down that Mabel needed to do in the notebook.

She turned to the correct page, where there was a coloured diagram with notes written neatly in the page beside it. Mabel crouched next to the open panel and studied the red, green and blue wires coiled together inside.

 _Okay…you can do this. It's like a puzzle. And Dipper's already told you where the pieces go._

She pulled on a pair of rubber working gloves and a pair of pliers. She started to twist certain wires together and splicing others apart. She was relieved that Dipper had laid everything out for her to follow, because while she was a whiz with glue, wool and scissors, she knew nothing of robot building.

"Ouch!"

She let out a yelp when she accidentally pinched herself with the pliers. She hastily looked around to see if anyone had caught her high-pitched sound, but the three males were intent on finishing their own tasks.

 _Right. Dipper's scream isn't exactly the manliest to begin with._

It was twenty minutes later when Mabel finished her work and she screwed the panel back into place. "Finished," she declared.

"Same," spoke Justin.

"I think we're as ready as we can be," said Len, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Anyone have any last-minute suggestions for what we can add?" asked Diego, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

"Glitter."

It was an automatic response, leaving her lips before Mabel could think about it. She stilled as the three turned to stare at her with odd expressions. "What?" asked Justin.

Mabel shrugged nonchalantly. "It looks sort of bland, is what I mean. Isn't there something we could use to liven it up?"

Diego glanced at Justin. "Dipper's got a point. It does look sort of boring. At least the other robots have lights on them."

Justin thought for a minute. "We've got some glow-in-the-dark paint. We could use that."

He went over to a wooden shelf and removed a metal can. Together they decorated the robot, painting the base with green flames and the robotics club logo on the front. Diego added skull and crossbones on the back. Justin turned off the lights and an eerie green glow surrounded their metal contraption.

"That looks awesome," said Diego with a grin. "Good idea, Dipper." He raised his knuckles for a fist-bump and Mabel returned it. Diego blinked and added, "Wow, your hands are soft."

"All right guys, I think we're all set. The robot's finished, charged and we have fresh batteries in the controller." Justin went over to a bag near the door and removed four grey work jumpsuits, where their school logo was embroidered over the pocket. "We'll have to leave soon if we want to get there in time to register."

Mabel blinked. "What?"

"Our competition is tonight, remember?" When Len got a blank stare in return, he turned to look accusingly at Justin. "Didn't you tell Dipper that the tournament got rescheduled to tonight?"

"I thought I did." Justin checked his text history. "Oh. Sending failed. Sorry, man."

"It's okay."

Justin handed her a jumpsuit and Mabel felt her face flare up when he started removing his shirt to change. She hastily retreated to a corner of the garage and yanked the jumpsuit over her clothes, knowing she would probably be hot with the extra layers.

She then took out Dipper's phone (because her pink sparkly case would be a dead giveaway) and started texting.

' _So your robotics tournament is actually tonight. Surprise!'_

…

Dipper stood in the long, twisting line of people stretching down the blocks. He had already been waiting for about two hours and now he could see the Hollywood stars if he inched out to peer further ahead. They were stationed at a table in front of a large poster advertising their latest movie, along with cardboard cut-outs and other promotional materials.

He let out a quiet sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. He could feel sweat gathering beneath the wig and under his armpits, and he wondered for the umpteenth time how Mabel was able to endure such weather in heavy clothing.

No one had given him a second look, not through his trip through the city and not as he waited in line. He was glad Mabel had used waterproof makeup on him, or else the sheen of sweat on his face would have been his undoing. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to disguise his voice, or if it would be better if he didn't talk at all.

A buzzing sounded within the white purse slung over his shoulder, which Mabel had given him to store his stuff. He normally used his backpack to carry his items around, or packed it inside of his vest, but he had to make do with one of Mabel's purses (which he had to admit was pretty handy—it had a lot more pockets to utilize).

Dipper dug out the cellphone and was momentarily confused to see his name flash across the screen until he remembered that he and Mabel had switched phones. He read the text, his stomach immediately sinking with panic.

' _What?! It's not supposed to be for another couple of weeks!'_

' _I guess the text Justin sent you didn't go through. Don't worry, bro. I'm sure it'll go fine. I can film it if you want to see your bot throw-down.'_

' _That's not the problem. The problem is that I'm controlling the robot. Which means YOU'RE controlling the robot.'_

' _Oh snap.'_

' _Yeah.'_

' _Is that in your little book?'_

' _I thought tonight was just a regular meeting, so no, it's not in my book. If I tell you the controls, do you think you could do it?'_

' _Is it like a video game?'_

' _Pretty much, yeah.'_

' _Lay it on me.'_

Dipper typed out the instructions for the robot's controls, triple-checked to make sure he hadn't forgotten a single detail, and paused. For a moment, he hesitated, debating on whether or not he should abandon his mission and go finish out the year for his robotics club.

But he was so close to getting the autographs, and he'd come this far. He'd been to plenty of robot fights before with his club members, and if they won all their battles tonight, they would move on to the state-wide tournament.

And he trusted Mabel would annihilate the competition. He hit send.

' _Got it. Don't worry bro, we'll win this.'_

' _I know you will. If you feel nervous, you can always ask one of the others to do it. They might get suspicious, but they'll take over.'_

' _Are you kidding? I've always wanted to fight with one of your bots before. It'll be fun. Plus, considering we fought a crazy triangle demon with the Shacktron, this will be nothing.'_

' _Fair point. Good luck!'_

' _Thanks!'_

As the next hour or so passed, Dipper inched his way further in the line. He eventually made his way to the front, his heart pounding with excitement. Hands trembling slightly with nerves, he stepped up to the table, draped with a deep red tablecloth, where the four main stars were sitting—Danny Devro, Leila Petti, Joshua Jans and Henry Douglas.

"Hey, sweetheart," greeted Leila.

"Hi."

It was the first time Dipper was grateful for his high-pitched squeak whenever he got nervous, for it made his voice passable to a female. He extended the small glossy movie poster he had brought with him for and the actors started to sign it.

"What's your name?" asked Danny.

"Dipper."

 _Oh, shoot._

The foursome exchanged glances, eyebrows raising. "Dipper?" repeated Danny in bemusement. "I'm guessing that's a nickname."

"Uh…yeah."

Intrigued, Henry leaned forwards. "Don't leave us hanging, girl. How did you end up with a nickname like that?"

Mindful of the wig on his head, Dipper carefully nudged the brown bangs aside, revealing a portion of his birthmark that the strands hid from view. "Because of this. It's in the shape of the Big Dipper."

"That's amazing," reacted Joshua.

Dipper brightened, letting the hair fall back into place. "Thanks!"

"All right, Dipper, important question." Danny passed the poster on to Leila and then gestured between himself and Joshua. "Who's your favourite?"

"You," answered Dipper automatically.

Danny grinned. "Danny Nation represent."

"Give me a break," muttered Joshua.

Dipper's eyes widened. "I mean, you're great too—"

"Don't feel bad for telling the truth, you made the right choice," interjected Danny. "I'm way hotter than he is."

Joshua glared. "You're only slightly in the lead!"

At Dipper's confused expression, Leila giggled. "It's their dumb contest. They take tallies from the female fans to see who is more popular. It's super shallow, but then again so are they."

"We can hear you," said Danny in annoyance.

"That's not what I—" Dipper tried to interject, but Joshua interrupted.

"Seriously, it's cool. I don't mind."

Dipper was about to insist that he had meant something completely different when he said Danny was his favourite, but was distracted by Leila signing his poster. He removed another one from his bag, a poster of Leila's movie character. "Would you mind signing one for my friend Wendy?"

"Sure thing."

Soon the posters were back in his hands and Dipper said sincerely, "Thanks. You're all amazing. These movies are my favourites."

"We're only amazing because of fans like you," returned Henry.

"Yo, Danny, give a member of your Nation a kiss."

"Gladly."

Dipper did not get time to protest, for Danny leaned over the table and kissed him on the cheek. Stuttering out a goodbye, Dipper hastily retreated, face red and throat beginning to ache from the strain of using a high voice.

 _Wait until Mabel hears this one._

…

The location of the tournament was the local community center, one of the large meeting rooms transformed into sections for the robot matches. Mabel and the guys had made it to the final match, where if they won, they would move on to the state-wide tournament.

By this point Mabel had gotten the hang of steering the robot. She was currently in the middle of a heated match, their small robot going against a heavily-armoured opponent. The exterior was covered in spikes and below that was a thick metal, making it difficult to land hits.

"Oh man, that thing is tearing us up," muttered Diego.

Mabel's eyes narrowed. "Not for much longer."

 _Okay. I need to find out how to hit that thing. It's outside material is too strong. But…I wonder what the underneath looks like._

Mabel studied the other robot, which was bigger and heavier than theirs. "Let's see how well you can turn corners."

She pretended to retreat, guiding the robot away from the enemy. It followed in pursuit and Mabel waited until it was close enough before making a sharp turn and whizzing past. The other robot tried to copy the turn, its weight making it tilt slightly. Seizing this opportunity, Mabel charged her robot forwards caught the exposed bit of the enemy robot, managing to tilt it over completely. It's underside was not nearly as protected and Mabel activated the water gun of their robot, soaking the circuits and frying the system, causing the enemy bot to shut down.

"Yes!" cheered Justin.

"Way to go Dipper!" whooped Diego.

"We're moving on to the state tournament!" exclaimed Len.

Mabel smiled broadly, pumping her fist in victory. Justin retrieved their robot and the four went to receive their medals for winning the school district championship. They shook hands with the other school team before leaving.

"We're going to get some ice-cream, are you coming?" asked Diego.

Mabel shook her head. "No, I have to get home. But thanks anyway!"

"No, thank you. We wouldn't have won if you weren't an expert on these controls," said Len.

"I've had a lot of practice," replied Mabel. "It's just like a video game. I'll see you guys at school!"

"Hey, take a cough drop when you get home!" called Justin as Mabel jogged away. "Your voice sounds terrible!"

…

' _We won, bro!'_

Sitting near the back of the bus, Dipper read Mabel's text and smiled. _'I had no doubts. Thanks.'_

' _No problem. It was actually really fun. I took some pictures. I'll show them to you after. Oh, and Justin clearly doesn't listen to you, because he thinks my impression of you was a symptom of your illness. I don't know what's with him, because I nailed it.'_

' _The bacteria mask probably threw you off.'_

' _Yeah, that must be it. So how did it go with you?'_

' _Great! I got my autographs, and the actors are actually really cool people. Danny Devro kissed my cheek, so that's a thing.'_

' _No way!'_

' _Yeah. He asked me who my favourite was, between him and Joshua. When I answered that it was him, I didn't realize it was a poll to see who has the most female fans.'_

' _Boys.'_

' _Tell me about it. Are you home?'_

' _Yup. I don't know how you manage to go around with the ushanka all the time, I thought my brain was cooking.'_

' _I'm used to my head being warm. How do you wear your sweaters year-round?'_

' _I don't mind my upper body being warm, so long as my legs and head are cool.'_

' _Your clothes are very comfortable, but this is the last time I'll switch places with you.'_

' _Ditto. I missed my sweater and glitter. But hey, it went pretty well!'_

' _Much to my amazement.'_

' _Operation Switcharoo is a success!'_

Dipper was about to type out a response when the phone started buzzing, indicating an incoming video call from Stan. He instinctively clicked accept and Stan's face filled the small screen. Stan opened his mouth to say something, froze, and stared blankly. Dipper returned the stare, eyes wide, and said (in as high a voice as he could muster on a crowded public bus), "I'm going to have to call you back."

He hastily hung up and texted Mabel back.

' _Uh. Yeah. Sort of. We're probably gonna hear from Grunkle Stan soon. Just saying.'_

* * *

 _To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)_

 _Subject: I probably shouldn't ask but I'm going to anyway_

I send a video call request to Mabel's phone, expecting Mabel, and I see Dipper dressed as Mabel. Is there something someone needs to tell me?

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's a long story.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Wendy can tell it. It's mostly her fault. **Wendy**!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Did you guys pull it off?

 _Mabel Pines:_ We did!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Pull what off?

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dipper wanted to go and get autographs from the cast of the latest movie in _The Sarcophagus' Curse_ franchise. But he had a robotics club meeting he couldn't miss. I suggested that Mabel could go to the robotics club in his place while he went to meet the cast dressed as Mabel. They switched places.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Gotcha.

 _Dipper Pines:_ That's it? No other questions? No comments on the fact I was wearing a skirt?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ It's a free country. I figured there was a story why you were dressed as your sister and now I know. The curiosity was killing me.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ And you thought someone would catch you, Dipper.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Someone did catch me. Grunkle Stan.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Well he doesn't count.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Watch yourself, missy.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I know we're twins, but I guess we look more similar than I thought. But there were some differences that we had to cover. Mabel wore a bacteria mask to cover her braces and I wore a wig. Turns out my voice can go quite high, which was a relief today but overall slightly annoying.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Masters of disguise. Just like your old Grunkle.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Our family is amazing.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Did you get an autograph for me?

 _Dipper Pines:_ I did.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Sweet.

 _Dipper Pines:_ I'll mail it to you this week. Now I'm going to take a shower and have a _The Sarcophagus' Curse_ marathon.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Was it worth it?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yeah. It was.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I think I might see if I can join the robotics club next year. It's a blast.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ I'll talk to you runts later. Oh, and Dipper, don't hang up on me again.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Sir yes sir!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Ha! You got in trouble!


	29. SUBJECT: Graduation

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

 _To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: WE'RE GRADUATING_

We did it, my people!

Dipper and I will be graduating from Piedmont Middle School. Our ceremony takes place on June twenty-third and then we're gonna blow this popsicle stand! We'll film it so everyone can see it!

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Dipper Pines:_ We still have two days before we get our final report cards.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Not this again.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dude, you have nothing to worry about. Well, not about passing the eighth grade, at least. You should totally be freaking out about high school.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Thank you for your poor attempt at making me feel better.

 _Mabel Pines:_ It's no use. He won't stop panicking until he has his report card in his hands that tells him that he's once again an honour student.

 _Dipper Pines:_ It's irrational, I know. But I'm mostly made up of irrational fears.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Congrats, hambones! I wish I could be there to see you dudes graduate.

 _Dipper Pines_ : Us too. But two days after our ceremony we're getting on a bus to Gravity Falls, so we'll be there before you know it!

 _Mabel Pines:_ WOO-HOO!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ And we'll be there to meet you.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Geez, I can't believe it's been a year already.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Speak for yourself. It felt like summer would never get here.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ That's high school for you. Sorry we won't be there to see your graduation, kiddos. A freak storm got in our way. Darn nature.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Don't worry, it's fine! We'll show you the video.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Don't miss a second.

 _Dipper Pines:_ She won't. Pretty sure she's going to attach a Go-Pro to her head.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thinking about it.

 _Dipper Pines:_ But it's only middle school graduation. It's really not that big of a deal.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ We'll be the judge of that. And we say it's a very big deal.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ You've successfully finished one stage of your life and are ready for the next. That's a great accomplishment. You should be proud.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Dominate that stage, dudes. Who's your valedictorian?

 _Mabel Pines:_ We actually don't have one at our school.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Boo! You would have made a great valedictorian, hambone.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Aw, thanks!

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Are your parents going?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Yup! They promised they'd be there, and they never make promises they can't keep.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ I'm glad they'll be there to see you cross the stage. We'll be with you in spirit.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ In the not-dead way.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ I'd be with you physically if I could but my dad would kill me if I skipped my last exam.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Have fun, dudes!

 _Dipper Pines:_ We will! Thanks everyone!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Class of 2013, we're out! Peace!

* * *

White-sandaled feet moving against the scuffed tiles of the mall, Mabel darted her eyes back and forth across the corridor. Pastel sun dresses, flowery shirts and faded shorts lined the store windows, sprucing up mannequins in full summer outfits. Dipper trailed after her, hands shoved into the pockets of his dark blue vest.

"See anything you like?" he asked, trying not to let his boredom show in his voice.

"No. It's not as easy as finding a tie to match a suit," she answered knowingly.

"You could wear a suit, if you wanted," replied Dipper.

"I could," Mabel agreed. "But I'd rather wear a dress. I know I'll find one, I just have to find one that speaks to me."

"It's been two hours," said Dipper with a slight groan. "If nothing is speaking to you yet it's probably because they're not feeling chatty."

"Boo," said Mabel, failing to hold back a laugh. "That was terrible."

"Of course it was. That's the kind of joke Grunkle Stan would make."

It took another hour of searching, but Mabel finally found her graduation dress in the sixth clothing store they visited. It was hanging in the back, among a collection of other prom and graduation dresses of varying styles and colours. It immediately stood out to her and she walked towards it, like a moth attracted to a flame.

The colouring was lilac and it was an A-line sweetheart style. The length was on the shorter side, looking as if it might reach her knees. There was a darker purple bow tied neatly just above the torso, the entire upper part covered in silver rhinestones. With a wide grin on her features, she eased it down from the rack and rushed off to the change room. Dipper sat down on one of the wooden benches to wait, and a couple of minutes later she swept back out, the ruffled layers swishing around her legs.

"What do you think?" she asked, looking at her reflection. The stones glimmered under the fluorescent lighting.

"It's perfect," said Dipper sincerely, who had spent most of the day watching his sister model different dresses.

"I think so too. It's even on sale! Talk about fate." Mabel did a little twirl, watching her movement in the vertical mirror mounted to the wall. "Good news, bro. We are officially done shopping."

"Good, because I'm starved. Want to get something from the food court?"

"Cheap, greasy, low-quality fast-food? Of course."

Mabel changed back into her magenta sweater and white skirt and paid for her dress. She linked arms with her brother and they started for the mall's food court. Dipper glanced at Mabel and remarked, "You know that my dress shirt and tie are also purple, right?"

Mabel stared at the bag he carried, which contained his newly bought clothing items. "I totally forgot," she exclaimed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, it's not quite matchy-matchy. And I don't mind wearing coordinated colours if you don't mind."

Smiling warmly, Mabel said brightly, "Not in the slightest."

* * *

 _To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: My graduation dress_

 _ **1 Picture Attachment**_

Hey, girls!

I found my graduation dress and thought you might like to see it. What do you think?

Much love,

Mabel

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Candy Chiu:_ It's beautiful, Mabel!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ I love it! It's perfect!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ It definitely suits you, babe. You'll rock it.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ You've got better taste than I thought.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Would it kill you to give a direct compliment?

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ It might. I don't want to risk it.

 _Mabel Pines:_ Thank you! I love it, and I'm super happy I found it.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ I'm surprised you didn't make your dress.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I thought about it. I don't really buy fancy dresses all that often, so I decided to treat myself. I added all the glitter to the bottom part of the dress, though.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ It looks amazing. You better take pictures.

 _Candy Chiu:_ And send us them!

 _Mabel Pines:_ Will do!

* * *

The morning sun shone brightly, bathing the rolling grass field in a golden glow. Dozens and dozens of folding chairs were neatly lined in rows, a wide gap between the two sections to allow for the student procession. Families of the graduating students were already seated, chatting amongst themselves. Silver of flashes of light occurred at random intervals as pictures were taken, from digital cameras and cell phones. The staff of Piedmont Middle School were gathered on the platform set up near the back of the soccer field, seated behind the oak podium. A red banner was hung from the two supporting metal pillars of the platform, and in bold yellow letters it read, _'Piedmont Middle School Class of 2013'_.

The school band was situated directly in front of the platform, comprised of the seventh-grade members in full band uniform. The music teacher led her students into Pomp and Circumstance, and soon the graduating students were filing out of the school's side entrance and onto the field. They followed the red carpet that stretched from the entrance all the way to the platform.

Mabel's lilac dress glimmered in the sunlight, but her smile was much brighter. Her long brunette hair was tied into a high ponytail, held in place by a butterfly pin. Her white flats moved in rhythm with her peers. She spotted her parents amongst the crowd, sitting close to the front. Mrs. Pines was in a burgundy dress, her short hair just reaching her chin and framing her face. Mr. Pines wore a dark grey suit with a red tie, the sun casting a glare on the square frames of his glasses. Mabel waved wildly at them and they beamed back, Mrs. Pines raising her camera to snap a picture.

"Dipper, look, it's Mom and Dad! Hi Mom! Hi Dad!"

"Yes, I can see them. Stop waving your arm like that, you're going to hit me in the face. I'd rather not walk up the stage with a black eye."

Mabel stuck her tongue out playfully at him but lowered her arm. They made their way down the aisle and took their seats. Dipper adjusted his tie and glanced around, taking in the scenery. It seemed a bit surreal that he was really graduating middle school. It did not seem like long ago when he was attending his first day of classes.

"What are you looking at?" asked Mabel, leaning over and resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Nothing. Sorry. Just thinking."

"It's officially summer and in about an hour we're going to be officially finished with middle school. The time for thinking is over!"

Dipper was about to retort, but refrained when he saw their principal, Mr. Han, get up from his seat and walk up to the microphone. The audience fell silent and he cleared his throat before speaking.

"Before we get started, I ask you all to please stand for the National Anthem."

There was a slight commotion as everyone got to their feet and then the band struck up the beginning notes of Star-Spangled Banner. When the anthem was finished, everyone took their seats and Mr. Han delivered his opening monologue. When he finished, the presentation of diplomas and subject awards began. It took a bit to reach the twins, and Mabel felt her heart beat with anticipation when her row stood and began towards the stage.

"Here we go, bro."

"Please don't let me fall down the stairs," whispered Dipper.

"Mabel Pines; receiver of the art award."

Mabel let a whoop as she charged onto stage. She shook Mr. Han's hand and accepted her diploma and award with a wide grin. As she started for the other side of the stage, she turned toward her peers and called, "See you on the flip side! Mabel Pines is out!"

"Oh geez," muttered Dipper as their peers and most of the audience dissolved into laughter.

"Mason Pines; receiver of the history award, science award, math award and English award."

After initially flinching at the use of his real name, Dipper crossed the stage with more reservation than his sister. He could help but smile when he heard Mabel's chant of "Dip-per, Dip-per," rise above the applause of the audience. He returned to his seat with his awards, glossy wooden plaques that bore the school's logo and his name engraved below the subject heading.

"Good job, you didn't fall," said Mabel cheerfully, clapping her brother on the shoulder. "Probably because you looked down at each step before you took it."

Dipper sent her a look. "If I hadn't I would have tripped over my own feet. I'm surprised you didn't do a cartwheel across the stage."

"I thought about. But I figured it probably wouldn't go so well considering I'm wearing a dress. Hey, do you have your phone on you?"

Managing not to drop his awards, Dipper removed his phone from his pants pocket. Mabel snatched it from him and held it out, grinning widely. "Graduation selfie!"

She took the picture and studied it. She and Dipper had their heads close together, teeth flashing in large smiles, their diplomas resting on their laps. Mabel happily attached it to an e-mail and typed out a quick message before sending it off.

"I wish Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford could have been here."

"Me too," said Dipper feelingly. "But I think that require a very long explanation, considering Mom and Dad think only one of them is still alive. And I think that's a sit-down, in-person kind of explanation."

"Good point. But hey, we did it. We're middle school graduates."

Dipper glanced around. "I think I might miss it, even though it hasn't always been the greatest. Is that weird?"

"No," answered Mabel honestly. "It's familiar. We always miss what's familiar when it's taken from us."

Dipper stared at her, eyes slightly wide. "Wow. That's deep."

"Thanks! You know, I'm going to miss this place too. There may have been some bad times, but there were good times, too." Mabel closed her eyes, feeling the sun against her neck and listening to the humming chatter of her peers. "That's the great thing about memories. No matter where you go or how much time has gone by, you always carry parts of the past with you."

Dipper went quiet for a moment, knowing just how powerful one's memories could be. "Yeah," he agreed with a smile. "High school might be scary and unfamiliar, but we'll get through it. We have each other."

"Always," said Mabel, reaching and giving his hand an affectionate squeeze.

It took another hour or so for the ceremony to completely finish, and once Mr. Han gave his closing remarks everyone stood up and started to mingle. Mabel went over to speak with her art club friends and Dipper said goodbye Diego, Justin and Len, promising to keep in touch. After a while, Mr. and Mrs. Pines came over to give their children hugs.

"Good job, kids," praised Mr. Pines, ruffling Dipper's hair. "We're very proud of you."

"You look beautiful, the both of you." Mrs. Pines smoothed down a few loose strands of Mabel's hair. "I know there are refreshments in the cafeteria, but how would you like to go out for brunch instead?"

"Yes!" said Mabel instantly. "All the maple syrup!"

"No drinking it from the bottle!" called Mrs. Pines as Mabel raced off towards the parking lot. She let a fond sigh and started after her.

"Make sure she doesn't drink maple syrup from the bottle," muttered Mr. Pines, wrapping an arm around his son's shoulders.

"On it," promised Dipper.

They went out for brunch and when they returned home, it was to see two items on their doorstep. One was a massive flower bouquet, so large that it took up most of the porch space. The petals were of varying shades of pinks, blues, yellows, oranges, reds and greens. They were tied together with a glittery silver bow.

Mabel squealed and rushed over to it. She removed the attached card and opened it, where she found the signatures of everyone from Gravity Falls. "Aw, I love them!"

"How sweet," said Mrs. Pines, gently touching the petals. "You must have made quite an impression on your friends in Gravity Falls."

"I think you could say Gravity Falls made an impression on us," replied Dipper, sharing a secret smile with his sister. "Maybe you could come visit this summer?"

"I don't know, we'd have to see," said Mr. Pines, though he sounded doubtful. "But you kids have a great time. Here, I'll bring this in for you."

He hefted up the flower arrangement and brought it into the house, Mrs. Pines following after him. Dipper and Mabel picked up the package that remained and tore upon the brown paper. Inside were two black jewelry cases. In the one addressed to Dipper was a silver pocket watch, his name engraved on the inside along with the date of his middle school graduation. Mabel received a matching wristwatch, tiny diamonds surrounding the face of the watch, with her name engraved on the strap.

Dipper held the pocket watch against his chest, feeling his heart pound with excitement. "A few more days. Then we'll be there."

Mabel held up the card that came with the watches, which was signed _Grunkle Stan Ford_ , a space between their names so if their parents happened to open the package, they would assume it simply read as _Stanford_.

"Another summer, another new beginning," she said. "I can't wait."

* * *

 _To: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)_

 _Subject: We did it!_

 _ **1 Picture Attachment**_

We just got our diplomas, which means we are officially done middle school! I'll send other pictures and the video of our ceremony when we get home!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Soos Ramirez:_ You guys look great! Congratulations!

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ That was the easy part. Wait until high school.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ Just kidding! Sort of. But seriously, you dudes rock and you should be super proud of yourselves.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Congratulations, kids. I know it hasn't always been easy, but you always came through. We're proud of you.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Yeah, those jerks who made fun of you aren't going to be laughing when you become their bosses. Great job, runts. We'll see you in a few days!


	30. SUBJECT: Return to Gravity Falls

**I do not own Gravity Falls.**

 **When I first started this story, it was to help me, and hopefully others, to cope with the ending of Gravity Falls. Thank you for staying with me on this journey, and I hope you've had as much fun as I did.**

* * *

 **Until next time, AnimationNut out.**

 **Peace!**

* * *

 _To: GF Crew (10+ contacts in this list)_

 _From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)_

 _Subject: On the road_

Mabel and I are minutes away from boarding the bus and then it'll be a matter of hours before we see you guys. We can't wait!

* * *

 _ **See all messages in this thread (Expand)**_

* * *

 _Mabel Pines:_ EEEEEE I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE MY PEOPLE AGAIN!

 _Grenda Gosling:_ We'll have an epic sleepover once you get here! We'll play loud music that'll annoy the neighbours and I've got a stash of magazines with posters of all the cute boys!

 _Candy Chiu:_ And we will eat candy and pizza until we get sick!

 _Mabel Pines:_ I can't wait!

 _Fiddleford McGucket:_ I'm as jittery as a rabid raccoon, I'm so excited! Got a lot to share with you kids when you get here! Oh, and maybe you can help with my gnome problem. Pesky creatures.

 _Dipper Pines:_ A leaf blower will fix that problem right away.

 _Gideon Gleeful:_ I eagerly await your arrival, my lady. And I suppose it'll be pleasant to see you again, Dipper.

 _Robbie Valentino:_ How about Mabel comes and Dork Tree stays in Cali?

 _Dipper Pines:_ Aw, I love you losers too.

 _Pacifica Northwest:_ We can go shopping. You need more variety than colourful knitted sweaters.

 _Mabel Pines:_ I don't know about that, but I like to shop, so you're on!

 _Soos Ramirez:_ We're cleaning up the attic right now, dudes! It'll be all ready for you when you get here.

 _Dipper Pines:_ You don't have to do that, we can help clean when we arrive.

 _Soos Ramirez:_ Nah, it's no problem.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ We'll race you. By land and by sea. Let's see who gets there first. Loser has to sweep the Mystery Shack for a week.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Deal.

 _Mabel Pines:_ How close are you?

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Only a few hours away.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ And by a few he means ten, and a sailboat doesn't quite get the mileage of a vehicle.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ They're on a public transit bus, Poindexter. Probably the same amount of mileage.

 _Grunkle Ford:_ Fair point.

 _Wendy Corduroy:_ My dudes are coming back home and we are going to party hard!

 _Grunkle Ford:_ We will celebrate in a jubilant but responsible manner.

 _Grunkle Stan:_ Buzzkill.

 _Dipper Pines:_ Oh, here comes our bus!

 _Mabel Pines:_ If you need us, text us. But we'll see you soon!

* * *

Wendy could hear the vacuum cleaner before she stepped foot inside the Mystery Shack. She paused in the threshold, staring at the streaks of water across the hardwood floor. Shaking her head in amusement she took off her boots and set them aside. She inched her way along the wall until she got to the living room, where Abuelita was pushing the vacuum cleaner aggressively across the carpet.

"Hey, Abuelita," said Wendy, raising to be heard over the noisy machine.

Abuelita glanced up and greeted, "Hello, dear. Soos is upstairs. There are snacks in the kitchen for you to eat if you're hungry."

"Don't mind if I do. Thanks."

Wendy took a detour to the kitchen, halting when she discovered the piles of saran-wrapped plates and containers of food. Eyes wide, she lifted up the wrap of a plate of chocolate chip cookies in bemusement, taking a couple. She promptly shoved them into her mouth to avoid sprinkling crumbs and headed for the stairs.

" _Heads up!"_

There was a great clattering and Wendy had a glimpse of a large wooden structure hurtling down the steps her way before instincts caused her to dive to the side. She rolled twice, smacking her head against the wall, and she sat up, flinching as the piece of furniture landed with an almighty crash.

"Soos, are you scratching the floor?" called Abuelita.

"Uh, sorry!" answered Soos, hurrying down the steps. "I'll polish it off."

"What the heck?" asked Wendy, straggling to her feet. "I came to work every day this week, so you really don't have a reason to kill me."

"Sorry Wendy," said Soos sheepishly. "I was trying to get the bedframes outside so I could clean them. They're pretty dusty and cobwebby."

"I think it's sweet you and your grandmother are in a cleaning frenzy to get everything ready for the Pines crew, but seriously." Wendy crossed her arms with a grin. "They're not going to care about dust and whatever. I mean, Mr. Pines ran this place for years and he probably never picked up a feather duster in that time."

"We don't mind." Soos wiped some sweat from his brow and asked, "What's up, dude?"

"I was wondering if you needed any help. I got my crew outside who are reluctantly ready to work."

"Cool! Would you mind working on the yard?" asked Soos. "We haven't gotten a chance to start cleaning outside yet."

"It's the outside. It's not gonna get clean. But I will get rid of all litter the jerk tourists left behind. We'll set up the tables and stuff while we're at it."

"You're the best."

"Flattery gets you everywhere. You need help taking these things outside?" she asked, gesturing towards the bedframe.

"Nah, I got it."

"Sweet. We'll be outside if you need anything." Wendy started down the hallway, careful not to slip on the newly-washed floor. She paused when she reached the end and glanced over her shoulder. "Do you know Abuelita made enough food to feed the army?"

"She does that. Pretty great, huh?"

"Definitely. I'll happily drown in her churros."

Wendy ventured outside, where her friends were gathered around Thompson's vehicle. "Can we go home?" asked Robbie.

"No. We're gonna clean this yard up." Wendy swept her arms to the side to accompany her statement. "Grab a rake, grab a broom, let's move it people."

Tambry looked up from her phone, raising an eyebrow. "And what will you be doing?"

"Supervising. I already clocked in my hours at this place." Wendy hopped onto the hood of the car and lowered Dipper's cap over her eyes. Five sets of hands immediately pushed against her body, sending her tumbling to the ground.

"I don't think so," said Nate with a snort as Lee laughed. "C'mon dudes, let's get those tables." He punched Thompson on the shoulder and the three set off.

"You can do the raking," said Robbie with a snicker as Tambry helped Wendy to her feet.

The redhead glowered at him. "Fine. You can clean the port-a-potties."

"Whoa, not on your life— _ouch! Okay, okay, whatever, let go before you crush my windpipe!_ "

…

Pushing open the heavy oak doors of her former home, Pacifica stepped onto the glossy marble tiles and lifted her designer sunglasses to rest on top of her head. She stared at the scuff marks that streaked across the once-pristine floor and she let out a sigh.

"Hey, McGucket!" she called, walking further into the mansion. "Are you here?"

His raccoon skittered down the grand staircase, claws clicking against the wood. Pacifica yelped and stumbled backwards, giving a wide berth between her and the creature.

"Don't worry, she don't bite none," said McGucket, coming down the staircase next. "She's just sayin' howdy!"

"Great," muttered Pacifica, curling her nose. "I can't believe you still haven't changed the alarm codes. Do you know how much of a security hazard that is?"

McGucket shrugged uncaringly. "Lotta work to get new numbers. Besides, this way ya can visit whenever ya want."

"You're getting a new code. I'll get you a new code. That way I'll have the numbers and there's no chance of my parents attempting to sneak back in here. I don't know if they still believe me when I say you got them changed." Flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she asked, "Are you ready?"

"Kinda. I couldn't find them decorations you were talkin' about. Ya know how many rooms ya have in this maze?"

"One hundred and twenty-five," answered Pacifica promptly. "We keep them on the third floor."

They made the trek up the stairs and down the corridor. Pacifica led McGucket into a room at the end of the corridor, where elegant party decorations were packed in totes or balanced against the wall. McGucket watched as Pacifica opened up a box and unpacked several crystal drinking glasses.

"Ya take this stuff back home with ya," spoke McGucket. "I have no need for it."

"Neither do we," said Pacifica, making sure all the glasses were accounted for and arranging them back amongst the bubble wrap. "We can't afford parties like we used to and now that my parents aren't as rick as they used to be they've been sort of ousted from their social group. So you can use this stuff for whatever you want. I figured we could use the dishware and the tablecloths Mom found in Morocco. This may be a hick town but it's a special occasion and it won't kill to show some class."

"And usin' this junk will probably make your parents angrier than a pack of hornets," said McGucket knowingly.

Pacifica flashed her winning, mega-watt smile at him. "Maybe."

She took the box and started to stand, accidentally hitting her head on the shelf above her. It jostled from the movement and one of the boxes started to tip off. McGucket swung Pacifica out of the way and the box crashed to the spot where she had just been, glass crunching within and several broken luxury candles rolling across the floor.

"Thanks," said Pacifica, handing McGucket the box. She then wrangled out the Moroccan tablecloths and then the two started back into the corridor.

"Is that all ya need?" asked McGucket, shutting the door behind him.

"We never exactly invested in streamers, balloons and your typical party supplies. Candy, Grenda and Gideon are getting that stuff. I have to go to the Shack and work out the playlist. Do you wanna come?"

"Sure thing!"

As they crossed the foyer towards the entrance, Pacifica couldn't help but glance down at the marked-up floor. "You know what, I'm getting you a cleaner too. You do not want to know how much these tiles cost, but they don't deserve this kind of treatment."

…

Candy and Grenda tore through the party decoration section of the general store, rifling through bins of neon party hats and noisemakers and sorting through rolls of streamers. Whenever they found something they liked they would toss it over their shoulder and into the cart.

"Oof!" Gideon grunted, a roll of purple streamers bouncing off his forehead and landing in the already-packed cart. "Are ya ladies almost done?"

"No! We have not gotten the confetti yet," said Candy.

"And a confetti cannon!" exclaimed Grenda.

Shaking his head, Gideon continued to follow after the girls as they wound their way down the aisle. Their cart was already full of balloons, streamers, noisemakers and packets of glitter. "I think we have enough."

"We're not leaving without the confetti," said Candy seriously.

Sighing, Gideon swung the cart around and went to check the other side of the aisle, where party favours and gift bags were laid out. As he was searching, Candy and Grenda found the cans of silly string. Exchanging mischievous glances, they each took one and snuck up behind Gideon.

"Surprise!" cheered Candy, and she and Grenda unleashed a wave of foul-smelling turquoise silly string upon the younger boy.

Gideon spluttered, raising his hands to block his face. "Stop that! My hair!"

"We were practicing for when Dipper and Mabel get here," said Grenda cheekily. "I think we did pretty good!"

Giggling madly the two raced down the aisle. Gideon slowly touched the substance sticking to his hair and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me set Ghost-Eyes on ya."

…

Pressing her face against the bus window, so that her cheeks and nose were squished against the glass. At the sight of the sign that welcomed them to Gravity Falls, she let out shriek. "Dipper! We're here, we're here!"

Dipper jolted out of his nap, rubbing at his bleary eyes. "What?" He nudged his sister aside, able to catch the sign before they passed by it. He grinned. "Yes! Finally!"

They gathered their luggage and the bus rolled to a stop. They climbed off the vehicle and stood on the edge of the road, immediately noticing the blue and pink streamers tied to the trees. "Well…this is a weird welcome," said Dipper in bemusement.

"It's like a cookie crumb trail, but without the cookies and with streamers!" Mabel swung her purple duffel bag over her shoulder and grabbed Dipper's hand. "Let's go!"

Hearts pounding with eager anticipation, they traversed through the trees, Waddles sniffing after them, following the path the streamers marked out, laced amongst the trunks and low-hanging branches. They walked through town, which was oddly empty, and continued towards the Mystery Shack. Even after the months away, they knew the dirt path well and could walk it with their eyes closed.

The second the Mystery Shack came within view the twins came to a halt, eyes widening at the dozens of people crowding the yard. There was a great roar of cheering when the pair finally stumbled out of the thicket and onto the property, and the first ones to rush towards them were Soos and Wendy.

"Dudes!" exclaimed Soos, swinging the twins into a bear hug. "I'm so happy you're here!"

"We are too!" said Dipper feelingly. "It's so good to see you guys."

"My people," said Wendy with a wide grin, looping her arms around their shoulders and squeezing. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

Soos set the twins down and Dipper removed the ushanka. "I think this is yours."

"And I do believe this is yours."

They exchanged hats and Dipper set the worn cap over his tousled brown hair. "Man, this is a lot lighter than I remember."

"Oh yeah, this will definitely keep me warm during the morning chills," said Wendy in satisfaction. She then gave Dipper and Mabel a proper hug. "Man, I missed you."

"We missed you too," said Mabel happily.

"Mabel!"

Mabel swung around and beamed at Candy and Grenda, who barrelled towards her. They collided in a hug, laughing delightedly. "Girls!"

"We are together again!" said Candy. She then glanced at Dipper's amused expression and added quickly, "And we are happy to see you too!"

"You don't need to lie. I know who the favourite is," said Dipper dismissively.

"It's pretty obvious," said Grenda jokingly, punching the boy in the shoulder.

Pacifica and Gideon walked over and Dipper grinned. "Bet you two are the happiest to see us."

"Can't you see it in my face?" drawled Pacifica, managing to maintain her indifferent expression.

"It's always a delight to see Mabel. I could do without ya," said Gideon with a smirk.

"I missed you losers too," said Dipper with a laugh. He exchanged a fist bump with Gideon and went to give Pacifica a hug, but hesitated. Pacifica stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a quick embrace before moving back.

"It's nice to have you both back," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and fighting back a blush.

Mabel gave both Gideon and Pacifica a hug, squealing happily. Robbie sauntered over, hands slung in his pockets. "Dork Tree," he sneered, giving the boy a noogie. "Star Shine." He gave Mabel's hair a light ruffle. "Can't believe you actually came back."

"Hey kids!" said McGucket, swooping the twins into a hug. "Welcome back!"

"Thanks for the party," said Dipper, glancing around at his friends, heart swelling with warmth. "You didn't have too."

"Any excuse to party, we'll take it. Besides, you deserve it. We've been waiting months for you to come back," said Wendy.

"Guess you dudes beat Mr. Pines and Mr. Pines," said Soos. "We haven't seen them yet."

"All right, we won." Mabel high-fived Dipper. "But I hope they get here soon. I really really can't wait to see them."

"Just like Grunkle Stan to make us wait," quipped Dipper.

"You can bring your luggage inside," offered Soos. "The attic is all ready."

"Thanks. Where will you and Abuela sleep?" asked Mabel.

"We will have our old house. We'll stay there for the summer. No biggie. I kinda missed living there, actually."

"Okay, we'll be back. Don't party without us!" ordered Mabel.

They made their way through the crowd, shaking hands, accepting backslaps and hugs from the townspeople who stepped forwards to welcome them back to Gravity Falls. Waddles wound around people's feet and scampered after the twins. They stepped over the threshold of the Mystery Shack and they were immediately assaulted with familiar scents, a mustiness and woodsy aroma that brought back a slew of memories.

"We're here," whispered Mabel. "We're actually here."

"Race you upstairs!" challenged Dipper.

They tore through the house and all the way up to the attic, where Mabel burst open the door. They stared at the two beds sitting almost side-by-side, a nightstand sitting between them. Mabel spun in a circle, letting out a sigh of contentment.

"Just like we left it, bro. Splinters and all."

Dipper dropped his bags on the bed and flopped back on the mattress, grunting when Waddles hopped onto his stomach before rolling off. "Is the Invisible Wizard still in the closet?"

Mabel wandered over and opened the door. "Hello?" she asked, waving a hand in the empty space. "Nope, don't think so. Too bad. He's going to miss one heck of a party."

They started back downstairs, pausing in the living room at the sound of the back door clicking shut. Glancing at one another, they moved towards the kitchen, where two very familiar figures came into view. With an ear-piercing shriek and eyes misting over with happy tears, Mabel charged forwards and launched into Stan's awaiting arms as Dipper raced over to Ford.

"Dang it, the runts did beat us," laughed Stan, holding Mabel close. "Told you your navigating stinks."

"I'm not the one who lost the map," shot back Ford, running his fingers through Dipper's brown strands. "You're a sight for sore eyes, kids."

"Sorry we're a bit late. Ran into some trouble. And it wasn't me losing the map." Stan set Mabel down so she could go to Ford and Dipper could step into his embrace. "How was your trip?"

"Tiring, hot and boring," replied Dipper. "But it's worth it."

"Where's Waddles?" asked Ford, glancing around.

"Hope you left him at home," sniffed Stan.

As if on cue, Waddles trotted into the kitchen and went up to Stan, nibbling on the edge of his pantleg. "He missed you," cooed Mabel.

"Don't know why," said Stan gruffly, leaning down to stroke the pig's head.

"Did you see outside? Everyone's here!" exclaimed Mabel. "They're having a party for us!"

"I figured by the number of cars cloggin' the driveway there was something goin' on," said Stan. "That's way we came through the back. Figured there'd be less of a chance of gettin' mobbed before we stick our junk in here."

"Better not keep them waiting," said Ford, setting Mabel to the ground. "I think we've done enough of that."

"Is there food?" asked Stan.

"A ton," confirmed Dipper. "At least three tables."

"Well heck, I'm starved. Let's go greet our adoring public."

Ford linked hands with Mabel and Stan wrapped his arm around Dipper's shoulders. They all knew they would have an entire summer to spend together, to share stories and spend all the time they wanted together. But tonight, they would celebrate their return not only with each other but with their friends, who were just as eager to have them back as they were to be reunited.

The second they stepped outside there was another chorus of cheering, and Soos and Wendy and McGucket hurried forwards to embrace Stan and Ford. There was a lot of excited chatting, good-natured insults and crying (mostly from Soos) and the party soon fell in full swing, pop music pumping through the speakers and laughter ringing throughout landscape.

The magical creatures of Gravity Falls eventually arrived to greet the Pines family for themselves, from the gnomes to the Manotaurs to the unicorns. It was an odd collection of people and creatures, if you were an outsider looking in. But to Dipper and Mabel, it was perfect.

Glass of punch in one hand, his other resting on Dipper's head, Stan listened to Soos speak animatedly, explaining the changes he made to the Mystery Shack with Wendy interjecting every now and then. Ford held Mabel in his lap, a contented smile on his lips.

Though they had been away for months, it was as if they had never left.

"We're home kiddos," spoke Stan quietly, watching as the sun drifted down over the horizon, washing them in a warm orange glow, promising the dawn of another amazing summer. "We're home."


End file.
